Without a spiritual connection, you truly have no connection. Love is to be experienced beneath and on top of the surface.-Melvin Davis
A broken promise is God’s opportunity to give you what He promised.—Melvin Davis
We know the beginning of a new relationship is filled with excitement and pure intentions. The fuzzy feeling is record-breaking, considering what you experienced before. The emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connection you longed for has now arrived. And to top that off, you’re both on the same page of what you want out of life. Everything’s a go. You hop in the car of commitment, hit cruise control, and silently pray that the two of you will continue see the same road, driving at the same speed.
As a year and half approaches, you really start to think seriously about each other. By this time, you met the family and friends. And yep, they gave you the thumbs up for approval. However, a few out of the bunch just feel indifferent about your new relationship. But hey, at least you were independent enough to prevent outside perspectives and projections to influence the decision you made, or break the bond you have with that person. I truly commend you. And also, by this time, you’ve probably been on a few vacations together, and spent two of the most meaningful and anticipating holidays of the year together. Thanksgiving and Christmas. Family time with the love of you life is two of the most memorable and enjoyable memories. I could recall the joy that I had with ex’s family. It was good to see everyone together, eating and laughing. And I enjoyed my time with her. Family is truly important to me. Anyhow, as the holidays come to a closure, you saw each other lives merged into one. You’re thought, I could really see myself spending the rest of my life with this person. Those fuzzy feelings are still there, at least for one person. But, somehow, someone pumped the breaks, and totally disrupted the flow of the cruise. Heck, they even took their hand off of the steering wheel, and abandoned the car. You had no idea what changed and what happened. You thought all along things were great. No problems. Or, you know exactly what happened. At this point now, the commitment you had was shattered. You’re embarrassed and hurt because you told your family and friend’s about the promise. The promise was that you would spend the rest of your life together. I want to talk you about the broken promise of commitment.
A broken promise in a relationship is the deep emotional and spiritual blow that comes after the breakup. Simply because: you’re in a stage of reflection, thinking about that happened. You’re overwhelmed. You can’t figure things out, although the truth unveiled itself to your heart. Sometimes it takes a while for someone to accept the truth. Anyhow, more devastatingly: you really start to think about all the time you invested with that person, and with their family and friends. Money is something you could get back, but not them. If you been here before, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you’re currently experiencing a broken promise, I’m not going to let you walk away without restoring your hope, and starting you on the road to recovery. It’s faith and healing time. Take a cruise with me.
That person may have promised the life you imagined to experience together as a couple or a life the you saw growing up before your innocent eyes. You saw your parents enjoy and relish those good moments that had with each other. But somehow, that promise was broken. Maybe unfaithfulness was the cause. Maybe the person just gave up on you, because it was easy to not fight for the love you believed in. Maybe, somewhere down the road, their emotional, physical and spiritual needs weren’t met, and they never said a word to you about it. The feeling of not having the opportunity to correct the problem leaves a feeling of being cheated. Maybe they voiced their concerns, but you failed, because either didn’t know how to make the necessary adjustments or you grew tired of watering a plant in a pot that was cracked. Whichever the cause, I have good news for you.
The person you were with may have hit you with a mighty blow. You have all the reasons to be angry, to become better and to give up on love. I want to encourage you today to not become the pain. Take the lesson out of the pain, and allow it become your wisdom, your eyes and ears of discernment. So, when you meet the next person, you’ll know how to communicate, address issues, and back out when you know you and your potential love interest, aren’t on the same page. A broken promise is God’s opportunity to give you what He promised. Faith is the key.
Sometimes you experienced heartbreak and disappointments, for the very reason of knowing the person you was with, isn’t the one for you. You have to have a starting point to know what or who doesn’t work for you, but now you know.
As tough as it may seem, refuse to become bitter. I repeat. Don’t become bitter, and to add, hopeless. There’s someone out there who will meet you where you are and accept you for who you are.
You are special. You are great. You are a confident loving person.
To my fellow gentlemen, you are a King. You were created to conquer. Not in a demeaning way. I’m talking about your purpose, your dreams, and to take your place in your marriage as a leader and protector. You were created to love with courage and boldness, to be a presence of might and strength.
And to women, you are a virtuous woman. You were created to nurture, care and to also love. You are a queen fit to stand next to your king. You strength is your compliment to what your King lacks. You aid in the success of the sacred union you have, and in other areas of your life.
You are beautiful. You are a woman. You are strength.
The heart of a problem lies in the heart.–Melvin Davis
Whether you’re the recipient of having your heart broken, or the one who delivered a crushing blow to someone else, reflection and healing is a should happen before enter another relationship. It’s extremely important and necessary as you move forward, because 1) You want to be free from any hurt. Emotional availability is the possibility of beginning a new relationship. If your heart and mind is focused on the past, you will present inconsistency in giving undivided time and devotion to the next person you find interest in 2. You want to be whole. A relationship focused on healing someone is not a relationship. It’s called counseling, providing therapy. It’s vital to be aware and in control of whatever that’s effecting you. When you aren’t conscious about how what’s hurting you or how your past impacts your present, you’ll continue to stumble into relationships, expecting that person to heal you instead of loving you. In other words, the focus and the core of the relationship will be geared toward building you up verses loving you. And after you have healed, you will move on. You subconsciously received what you needed, and that person no longer serves a purpose in your life. Hardly anyone is blemish free of personal issues. We all have something we’re battling or dealing with it, privately or publicly. When you are aware about your issues beneath the surface, you could still develop something meaningful with someone.
Some of the strongest relationships derive from the strongest friendships. Meaningful friendships often happen through the exchanging of personal experiences, and being a presence of strength and support. What this means is that the love of your life could be the very person who helps you heal or vice versa, and you two could move forward experiencing a romantic love.
Maybe what you’re dealing with has nothing to do with a relationship. Perhaps you’re praying for healing in your body, or battling anger or resentment toward or from family members. Maybe the conditions you’re combating is spiritual. Whereas, you want to live a life devoted to Christ, and according to God’s will, but there’s something snatching you back into that lifestyle or place of pain, when you try change or move on. Whatever you’re confronted with, you can change and you can move on a healed and better person. All things are possible through Jesus Christ. I hope and pray you read this message with an open heart. In fact, I pray you say this prayer.
God I am undeserving of your grace and healing, but I know, because you died on the cross for my sins, sin has no power over me.
I come to you with an open heart. I want to be honest with you. I am hurt. I am broken, I don’t know how to love or to receive it. I’m tired of feeling down and depressed. I have no peace. No joy, No laughter. No tears. I’ve cried enough. I’ve talked about it enough. I need you.
God, come into my life and heal my heart, because I can’t do it on my own. I need your help. I believe in my heart that you can heal some of my deepest wounds and rejections. Forgive me for my wrongdoing and sins, acts that I’ve committed knowingly and unknowingly. Forgive the person who hurt me. I can no longer hold them accountable because you’re speaking to my heart in this moment of what I need to do.
In Jesus Christ name I pray. Amen.
I am healed. I am whole.
To those who haven’t given their life to Christ, but you’re on the fence to, because you know there’s something other than you that’s been speaking to you, I open the door to salvation. I invite you to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. Pray this prayer.
God, I can no longer live life doing things my way. I can no longer live in sin or pretend like you don’t exist.
Father, on this day, I give my life to you, by acknowledging that your son Jesus Christ died on the cross my sins, and in three days, was raised from the dead by the same spirit that breathed life into me.
I accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
To you who prayed this prayer, wherever you are, the same spirit that’s in Christ, that raised him from the dead, is now in you. Pray that The Holy Spirit lead you to a church to complete the process of salvation. As Christ was baptized, as told in Matthew 3: 13-17, you also must also get baptized. I am praying for guidance and direction for you.
Stay tuned for part I of The Healing Process.
Heartbreak is an unearthing disconnect from someone. The severing of two souls no longer joined together by the spirit, to grace each other eyes with the same passion, trust and conviction of love that once existed. However, with every ounce of effort and energy, utilizing every emotional and rational means of persuasion, it’s possible to relieve the past again. But ponder this possibility before you save what’s not in God’s will. 1. It will never be the same. 2. You’re too drained to enjoy what you fought to save, but, This is Not the End.
if you’re faithful during the process of heartbreak, the same spirit that you led you into that relationship, to pull out of you, the authentic you, is the same spirit that will heal and give you a second chance at love. It may not be with the same person you’re praying to be with, but you will be a different person to someone else.
I understand the great challenge of letting go, but If you hold to what’s dead, the joy inside your spirit will drift away–causing you to fall into a deep place of depression. You’ll also prolonge the healing the process and delay who you could meet. If you have the faith to let you, you will see the sun [Son] ascend from your dark clouds, and raised your temple again. The temple you, your heart and crushed spirit.
I want you to know this failed relationship is not the end for you. Believe me when I say this: With God, all things are truly possible. The love of your life is on the way. Let go. Embrace what is and move forward. This is not the end.
Yesterday I stopped by a store to return an auto part that I didn’t need for my car. As I stood in line, waiting patiently to make the return, I noticed how kind and friendly the cashier was. I knew she had a heart of joy, but I also noticed something else about her.
During the transaction we began talking. I don’t quite remember how we ended up talking about how she found $ 280 on a windy day in the parking lot. She said what was interesting about the money on the ground is that it didn’t fly away. It flapped, but the corner of the money was stuck to the ground. She went inside and let her employee’s know she found money, and that she was going to let the store manager know. They thought she was crazy for doing that. Anyone who finds money on the ground would probably look around to see if anyone dropped it, but after, they’re pocketing that money. I know you have. I have before…just being honest. The cashier said she didn’t feel right. “It’s not mine. It doesn’t belong to me,” she reiterated to me.
“God, I pray you send that person back to me who lost this money,” she said she prayed. She goes on to say she felt sorry for the person who the money “They probably need it.” Later on, someone called to the store and explained that they lost money. The person was crying on the other end of the phone, because he was unemployed, and that he needed it for his family. She calmed the guy down, and told him she has his money. “It will be here,” she reassured him. “Don’t worry. I have it for you.”
As soon as he walked through the store, she instantly knew it was him. She gave him the money and he offered her $20 but she refused to take it. “It’s your money,” she told the guy. “You don’t owe me anything.” The guy was a little upset that she didn’t take what he offered her, but here’s what happened to the casher a few days later.
She found $20 outside on the ground. The money was stuck to the pavement the same way she found the $280. There was no one insight. She picked it up, knowing in her heart, it was God blessing her with $20. This was the same amount she refused to take from the guy. A few days later, she saw $20 on the floor. There was a gentleman in sight. She thought it belonged to him, and asked if it was. He replied no. She knew then, it was God blessing her with another $20. As you can see, she received double for returning something that belong to her. What do you have that doesn’t’ belong to you? Maybe you’re in a relationship with someone you know is not the one for you. Maybe you’re entertaining someone with the same feeling. Let them go. I thanked her for sharing this story. I told her” you just inspired my devotional message today. Here’s my message.
There are something’s you felt you lost in life. May it was a relationship. Perhaps you weren’t quite mature at the time to handle one. Maybe you were faithful and devoted to someone, but they were unfaithful to you. I thought this person was the one. Maybe you loved someone who passed away. You felt you were cheated, and grew angry at God. That’s understandable. Maybe it was a career opportunity that slipped away from you from some odd reason. Maybe it was a friendship, a house or a car. Whatever it was that you lost, I want you to know, you will find it again. From the perspective of the gentleman who dropped $280 on the ground, he found what he lost. I’m sure he was praying as he grew worry and stressed about the money he had, but God touched the cashier heart to hold what belong to him. What God has for you isn’t going anywhere. And from the perspective of the cashier, her honesty, good heart and obedience, earned her double. I have no idea what kind of situation that you’re in, but maybe you aren’t being honest with someone about how you feel or where you see the relationship going. Trade places for a moment. What if someone left you out in the dark about how they felt and saw you? Would you want to continue on another day, week, month or year, out- of- the- know? Be honest with the person. Let them know the truth about how you feel and how you see them. You aren’t being “mean” or “hurting” them. You’re freeing them. You could truly find the love of your life, and so could they, by being honest. Do yourself and that person a favor, and let go.
Remember, you will find what you lost. God is preserving it for you. Trust Him.
Set aside how you think and feel about what needs to be done. Your thoughts and emotions don’t help you accept the truth that has been presented to you. Your understanding places you back into a position of confusion, to force what cannot be. Think of fitting the wrong piece into a puzzle. The puzzle is your heart. The wrong piece is something or someone. When you force “it” into your heart, other things in your life will begin to pop out. It starts with your peace. It’ll be hard to concentrate during the day and difficult to sleep at night. The next thing “it” tampers with is your joy. You’re not be the you that everyone knows. What you’re forcing is not adding to your life. It’s subtracting from it. When something or someone fits into your heart, life moves in harmony. There’s an unspeakable, solemn peace. It’s a knowing that cannot be ignored. You know it’s right. What is it or who is it that you’re forcing to stay into your life? #Proverbs3:5
There’s something you’re afraid to ask or inquire about because you believe the answer is no. You are standing in the way of what’s waiting to experience you. Faith is more than just thinking about a particular thing, over and over again. It takes faith to ask. Don’t be afraid. Ask with faith and believe you will receive it by faith.–Melvin Davis
About four weeks ago, someone stopped and asked me at my job, if I was single. My answer, “yes.” She asked why. My answer, “I haven’t found a good woman.”
Her response. “Everyone has the potential to be good, but what’s in the heart of a person tells you who they are.”
She went on to say that no relationship is perfect, so you can’t look for the perfect relationship. “Yes that’s true, but compatibility matters.”
She opened up to me about her husband. She confessed, for the first few years of their marriage, she wasn’t in love with him, but then she grew to love him. She went on to say, that when she got sick, it was his face that she saw in the hospital, by her side. Not that I didn’t know this already, but when you love someone, you’re there for that person. Concluding her testimony about the love she and her husband have for each other, she looked me directly in my eye and said, “The Holy Spirit is going to lead you to your wife.”
Her statement of faith and sureness hit me hard. Considering that, looking or finding “the one” wasn’t on my mind at the time. I’m sure you would think that’s the case because of my blog posts and quotes, but it’s not. I’m so focused my writing career and planting my roots, having a relationship is a little far-fetched, however, there are moments when the thought crosses my mind of being in a relationship. Anyhow, her statement of faith and sureness definitely sent a message that she’s on the way.
I walked away from that conversation at peace, and with a solemn excitement that she really is coming soon. I gave me something to look forward to, in addition to my writing career and the ministry God is preparing for me. I have no idea who or where she is but I know she’s on the way.
As I continue to go through the spiritual and personal transformations I’m currently undergoing, I know that I am being prepared for a wife. God is putting the finish touches on the leader He’s developing in me. He’s also strengthening my prayer life and faith, so I can be a presence of strength and direction in her life, through Jesus Christ. He’s giving me wisdom of how to court and treat a woman, according to His standards and ways. He’s disciplining a certain appetite within me, so my eyes will always be fixed on her without lust, but of a pure love and devotion. She will be the woman I adore and reaffirm her value in my life, in private, and publicly.
I recently published my first novel. It’s called Love Again. i wrote a story in a way of how I envisioned courting a woman. If you want to check it out, here’s the link.
I like women who are feminine, whose beauty possesses versatility: She could look good in a cocktail dress, in evening wear, or in jeans, shorts or sweatpants. It doesn’t matter. I’m not a high maintenance guy, so I think less is more. You don’t have to wear hills/pumps 24/7 around me or slap a pound of makeup across your face. In fact, while I think makeup does enhance what you already have, showing your skin is better. That’s my opinion. Again, less is more. I also find women attractive in flats, tennis shoes, etc. Other men may disagree with me, but if we’re headed to the beach or grocery shopping together or bike riding, and you coming out the door with pumps and makeup, really??????????? Less is more.
I like women who are in shape. Women who eat well and exercise are interested in being around for a long time. They’re taking preventive natural measures to stay away from diseases, lowering stress levels and maintaining their physique that attracts guys to them in the first place. Now, I’m sure you’re probably thinking, what exactly does he exactly mean by “in shape” or what’s his type. My type is the woman I will marry. I will go on to say:
Beauty doesn’t discriminate or belong to one culture or another. I find beauty in all different races and ethnicities. What matters to me is, of course the physical attraction, but also the chemistry and trust, the love and faithfulness, and we’re on the same page as it relates to the future. With that, we have something special that exceeds beyond cultural norms or stereotypical expectations and standards. Whoever she is that God sends my way, I will marry her. No one else opinion counts.
Another, Just in Case You’re Wondering Moment
If the thought crossed your mind, after reading parts I and II, that “I’m not where he’s at spiritually,” I could understand. However, I never been the kind of guy to shy away from or judge, condemn or x someone out if her faith or understanding in God is not where mine is at. We all come into our own at different points in life. Where I’m at in my understanding and relationship with God didn’t happen over night. It’s taken years, moving by faith, repeating mistakes and experiencing moments of failure. Spiritual growth has also stemmed from my level of commitment and obedience, and making myself available to hear and to experience the presence of God. I met a handful of women who were more spiritually disciplined than I was or had something to offer that I didn’t have–vice versa. Relationships are about giving and reciprocating. There should be a teacher and student that exists in all of us. By that I mean, you’re able to pour into someone, whatever knowledge and experiences you have, as well as, receive whatever perspectives and experiences someone else has to offer. I am a learner and I’m humble enough to ask questions if I don’t know something. I’m also humble enough to say, I don’t know it all.
If you’ve enjoyed my work so far, I invite you to read my first novel Love Again. I think it’s a good love story that you would enjoy, whether single or married.
Here’s the link.
As a single man, it’s a challenge to find a good woman. Well, a woman who has the heart, mind and spirit for and of Christ. I’m a fan of the television show Scandal, mainly because I am a fan of Kerry Washington ;) , and the writing is superb. However, the interpretation of Olivia’s Pope dating habits has impacted the dating scene. Ms. Pope have given rise to the “side-chick.” The side-chick mentally has become more pronounced than ever–although the behavior has always been there. Some women have undoubtedly, flipped the script, by having a guy on the side. And I guess, rightfully so. I hate to use or acknowledge such an indigent term in my writing, but it’s a term and act that has become popular–well in some social circles and cultures, but back to the topic at hand.
Faithfulness is another quality I find attractive. The obvious definition of faithful is monogamy, but I want to expound on what think a faithful woman embodies. I noted minutes ago that a faithful woman is a woman who has the heart, mind and spirit of and for Christ, because her heart and spirit, her mind and body, and essentially, her life and purpose is dedicated to Him. She’s also a woman who doesn’t take her blessings for granted. A faithful woman is a best friend and a great lover. She’s committed to her man mentally, emotionally, and physically. She respects him at all times, whether in or out of his presence. For me, a faithful woman gives you a seat of comfort and peace. A faithful woman is attractive.
I mentioned in part I of this series that I’m attracted to a woman with drive. Anyone woman could have drive, but what does a woman with drive looks like pursuing what God has placed in her heart?
I’m attracted to a woman with integrity, and who has a strong work ethic. She is a woman of excellence; because she knows her God-given responsibilities cannot be taken lightly. She’s determined to reach her goal, and she will reach her goal, because her faith and trust is in God. Her work ethic also backs up her faith, confidence and trust in God. She’s a Proverbs 31 kind of woman. A woman with drive is a woman you could team with. She will push and lift you up if you’re slacking. She speaks her mind and the truth in the most loving way. While she’s a woman of purpose, she’s also lighthearted.
Many people get gist that I’m serious and deep all the time. Negative! In fact, outside of social media, when I’m not inspiring, posting devotional messages or quotes here and there, I love to laugh and relax: Women who take their self too seriously or can’t take a break from work suppresses her femininity and nurturing ways. I think it’s safe to say that all women are nurturing—or should be…maybe not? Anyhow, laughter and humor brings balance and creates memorable moments. Imagine sharing a laugh over something random or laughing about a scene in a movie and remembering the line to go with it. Priceless. A lighthearted woman full of humor is someone I would like to be around.
Now that I’m older, I look at a woman in different a way. By older, I mean who I am becoming in God. These days, I think about the kind of woman I would want to have child/children with, and how she would help raise our child/children. The stereotype goes that men aren’t good listeners. Well, I would say that some of us have “selective hearing” lol. I’d raise my hand to that. But seriously, men who are looking for something meaningful are listening and paying attention to you. He’s observing how you interact, communicate and how well you get along with other people, because he’s envisioning how life would change for you two once another life joins in. I’m attracted to a woman who can articulate and express herself without the use of profanity. It’s a turnoff for.
I can’t imagine being married to a woman who uses vulgar language or yells. No thanks. I’ll pass. But hey, some guys like that and don’t mind function in that kind of environment. I envision an atmosphere of peace, which doesn’t suggest perfection. I couldn’t imagine her speaking to our child/children or to me using profanity. There’s a way of getting your point across without cursing someone out or screaming. Love provides a respectful environment. A lady gets her point across in the most intelligent and subtle way that makes you feel her words before she resolves to taking action. And she also disciplines her child/children in a way that may leave him or her disappointed, yet still loved, because she taught an invaluable lesson that would be a moment to reflect once the child is of age.
If you’re read or reading my novel Love Again, which is currently available in the Ebook format, you’ll see how crafted Jennifer, and why having relationship with her father is so important. Here’s the link to my novel.
In the concluding series of What Kind of Woman am I Attracted to, I’m going to talk about the physical aspect. These two parts focused on the inner.