I rather capture your heart and mind than catch your eye.-Melvin Davis

 

When you haven’t experienced a deeper level of love, physical attraction speaks in high volumes, and is first over the underlying important tangibles that sustain love. Love is more than just physical attraction. I’m not suggesting that it doesn’t matter. The reality is that good looks don’t always translate into love, faithfulness or respect. More often, it’s the opposite. When you experienced a deeper and greater depth of beauty in someone else, your definition and views of attraction expands. It changes and evolves into something more realistic, mature and meaningful.

A spiritual, soulful connection is more powerful than physical attraction. There’s something ethereal about a spiritual, soulful connection. Imagine looking at a book without words. The page is bare, yet you could feel something surging inside of you that sing the tune of your heart. And that escorts your spirit to tropical islands and into heavenly realms. You can’t see the words, yet you feel them. You can’t see the words, yet you see the image that’s being painted in your mind. It’s perfect. A masterpiece. A spiritual, soulful connection works the same way. You could sit in each other’s presence, and communicate without words; touch without holding hands, because the love that’s nettling you two closer together resides under the coat of your skin.

I rather capture a woman’s heart and mind, now to add, spirit than her eye. Physical attraction withers away everyday, and an unforeseen freak accident could happen. If I won her over good looks, well, there’s go her interest and the relationship. But if she found beauty in my heart, mind and spirit, I know she’ll stay. I’ve found a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.

Stay tuned for another upcoming short blog called The Beauty of Imperfections  

A Deeper Attraction

The Art of Faithfulness and Gratitude Towards a Woman

There’s something about waiting that builds the anticipation of what’s to come. If you find a great woman, never let her go. –Melvin Davis

 

At 33, I move at a slower pace when it comes to getting to know a woman. I move like the tortious because my mind-set on the long run with her. With patience, you see many things you rather see now later. I take my time to pick apart her brain, to page through her spirit, and to take in the beauty of her personality like my favorite dish, to see if this the woman I would enjoy spending the rest of my life with. Patience is the best place you could be in. As mature in my spirit, I look to see what’s in a woman’s spirit. There’s beauty and art there. There are a many experiences that lends to how she think. And in her soul is the wonders her mystery.

It’s amazing to see the gems of a woman through her eyes, the feel the power of her presence when you’re in he presence.  Experiencing a connection like this is hard to find, but worth wait. When I look around and see couples well into their elder years, appearing to enjoy each other like that they first met, inside in my mind, I say, that’s what I want. Thank you God. I give thanks in advance because I know I’m going to experience what they have.

The wait makes me want to be faithful before I find my wife. When browse back at the experiences I’ve had, like failures and past mistakes, I’m thankful that I made them. I’m a different man now. I’m enjoying who I am becoming. I’ve taken my failures and manufactured them to fit the wisdom and knowledge God has endowed me with. I’m glad that I failed in the past. I have the opportunity to proceed forth in courting a woman the right way.

Gratitude is another thought that comes to mind as I anticipate the future. I’ve said this several times, and every now and then, if a conversation warrants it: A woman is one of God’s greatest gifts to man. Yes, her emotions and mood fluctuates. You may see snow in her summer or fall in her spirit. However, I don’t care how interchanging or indecisive she could be, I’d still love her despite unforeseen hail and blizzards. A woman balances a man. She is the equilibrium of his masculinity. A man needs a strong woman who has a soft, feminine touch to make him feel like a man, and vice versa.

The ability and desire to be faithful to a woman should happen before you meet her. I know its ideal to say, “When I find that woman, I’m going to be faithful to her.” Why not be faithful now? I’m sure you’re asking, How’s that possible? How can I be faithful now and I haven’t met her. Here’s how.

In your singleness, God is building particular foundations and characteristic traits in your life to succeed in your purpose. That’s the higher calling on your life. These foundations and characteristics traits are also applicable to the sacred marriage that’s waiting for you. While your being single, God is sending tests your way to see if you’ll remain faithful to Him when you much or when you have nothing. He’ll test you by pushing out into a platform where thousands of women are throwing themselves at you. He’s checking the pulse of your discipline to see how you’re gong to respond to the attention. The attention will still be there when that special woman comes. How are you going to react? Would give into what you can have without effort? Or would be faithful to the queen He’s given you?

In your singleness, God is destroying the old man to create a new man within you. This man is going to value and appreciate the woman He has for you. He’s making you wait so you can cherish and love her. If you look back, you’ll see He allowed you to get cheated, to be misled or go through some stress experience, so you’ll have the ability and develop the desire to be faithful, and so your heart can be filled with gratitude toward her.

Single men, I want you to get excited. Let your hearts fill with joy. I am. Your wife is drawing near as you seek. She’s going to be an attractive, spirit-filled woman.  You’re going to have the desire to wake up every morning with the intention to put a smile on her face every day. You’re going to anticipate spending every second and minute, hour and day, week and years with her. And although you may have some disagreements with her, you’re going to want to talk things out. After all, she the one of a kind that’s hard to find, and plus, she’s your best friend. Best friends are also hard to find.

Your greater is on the way.

 

I’m Not Looking for the Perfect Woman

I’m sure the majority of women who have been reading my posts feel that I have high expectations beyond this world. They may think I’m looking to be with a supermodel woman or she has to look like the woman that’s eye candy to many men. Or, I’m specifically set on being with someone of the same culture. That’s not the case. Beauty and love extends beyond the color of my skin. And a high level of physical attraction doesn’t promise love. It promises lust. Other women may feel they have to be where I’m at spiritually. That’s not the case either. While physical attraction and chemistry, good conversation and having a spiritual connection matters, I’m a down to earth simple guy who sees himself with a down to earth, fun and simple woman. My expectations are realistic but not watered down or negotiated for just being with anyone.

I’m not looking for the perfect woman because the perfect woman believes she’s perfect is too good for anyone else. She also feels that no one measures up to her.  She seeks every opportunity to highlight your weaknesses rather than praise you strengths. Arrogance and conceitedness blindfolds her. I don’t know any man who would desire a woman like that. If so, it’s for the same of looking good in public or for sexual purposes, if you know what I mean.

I’m attracted to women who are humbled, who seek to experience love on a spiritual level, and knows how to communicate. Communication for some means yapping uncontrollably. Sorry. My attention span isn’t built that way. In a lecture, yes, it’s expected. My mind wanders when the uncontrollable yapping happens, and I immediately lose interest. Communication means to be conscious of another in your presence. You are engaging them. Not yourself.

I’m not looking for the perfect woman because I’m not a perfect man. I noted in a previous blog that although I may seem wise and knowledgeable, driven and well rounded, spiritually in tuned to people and my environment, and well put together, I’m flawed. I’m a human being who tries to live everyday improving.  I’m glad I’m not the perfect man. That’s too much pressure.

I’m not looking for the perfect woman because I’m looking for a woman I can grow, build and evolve with.  Relationships are built upon the building and rebidding of each other. I’m well aware that many people come from different family structures and relational experiences. And some of those who family structures and relational experiences may have created insecurities or have made their heart callous. I enter situations to learn about that person so I can understand who she is today, and how far she comes into being a woman. It’s important to understand who a woman is so I can be aware and sensitive to the woman she is today, as well as her to her needs. Empathy, listening and understanding is important her.

I’m not necessarily looking for a woman who’s where I’m at spiritually. Once upon a time, I was not who I am today. However, what’s important to me, and what I listen and look for in a woman is her desire to grow in God through Christ. I maybe the reason she may grow spiritually. She could be the reason why God taught me to love with compassion, with patience, kindness, etc., and to her strengths to compliment my weakness. Relationships are supposed to bring balance.

If you’re looking for the perfect person, I suggest you take a deeper look into the mirror. A perfect reflection isn’t staring back at you. It’s an illusion. That perfect doesn’t exist because you don’t exist in the reality of your humaneness. If you were created perfect, you wouldn’t have to depend on or acknowledge your Creator. No one one would be able to compliment you or please you.

I dig humble woman. They are attractive.

How to Connect with a Woman Spiritually

A woman is more than her body. She is spirit. She is soul. She wants to experience love from you there. Get to know her there.–Melvin Davis

Being spiritual often has a negative, boring connotation to it. Most people think those who are spiritual live mundane, disinteresting and predicable lives.  There’s no fervor or excitement. It’s also believed that those who are spiritual sit in an empty room praying or offering up chants all day. Well, some may actually do, but there are persons who are down earth and human too. I could see this perspective, if you aren’t spiritual, however, there are some benefits of being spiritual. In the context with a woman, you’ll understand why.

I’d like to have your undivided attention for a few moments. I want to brush over the canvas of your thoughts with the brush of wisdom and insight. My paint is the experiences and what I’ve acquired from above. Here are three ways to connect with a woman spiritually. This is nothing deep, nothing you never heard before but maybe not said this way.

  1.  Connecting with a woman spiritually lends to good listening skills. When you’re able to articulate to her what she’s saying underneath and through her emotions, or what she can’t say with words, she knows that you are listening.

Listening draws her closer to you because you taking into consideration of what’s important to her on her mind. And because you’re listening, her heart is more prone to open up to you, to share more with you.

  1. Understanding. Understand her history to coexist with her in the present.

Understanding is just as powerful as misunderstanding someone. Many, I mean many relationships and friendships have fell apart due to poor communications and misunderstanding. It happens everyday.

With it comes to understanding a woman, listen without judgment her or the intent to use her past to have emotional or mental leverage over her. Understanding takes listening with a heart of love and empathy.

  1. Becoming a part of her secret place. The secret place is her place of peace, intimacy and serenity. It’s where she sets aside time to get refocus and center herself. It’s where she communions with God.

Becoming a part of her secret may also take time and patience. Not everyone gets to go there. She has to absolutely trust and FEEL secure with you before she invites you there. There, in her secret place, is when you get the opportunity to see her true spiritual side. There, you may also see her cry, because she may be reflecting on the wonders of God, how far she’s come from her pas, and how you showed up in her life—possibily to good to be true.. This is your opportunity to join her in prayer, to read with her or to simply sit in silence. Silence in the secret place is just as powerful as spoken words.

Furthermore, her interpretation of your presence in her secret place must be one of strength, certainty and spiritual and emotional support. Your ticket to that secret place lies in your relationship with God, or willingness to have one.

  1. Demonstration of Unconditional love.

If I were to coin this chapter in my life, it’s called, Learning How to Love, Unconditionally.

It’s easy to love when it’s convenient for you. That’s call loving with conditions. When you reach a point of learning how to love others around you, who can be tough to love, you matured. You stepped out love despite of how you feel. And when you learn how to love unconditionally, you can take that same ability to love unconditionally, in a relationship.

A spiritual woman interprets a man’s ability to love unconditionally by what’s in his spirit. She’s asking. Is he…

  1. Patient
  2. Kind
  3. Forgiving
  4. Faithful
  5. Good
  6. Gentle
  7. Full of joy
  8. Fill with love
  9. Has a heart of peace.

If you could love her unconditionally, you could love her beyond her flaws and often times, mixed emotions. Your conditional love toward her is your consistency.

These are three ways of how could connect with a woman spiritually.