We Argue Too Much

How you communicate in your relationship will either make or break it. Unfortunately, for some, arguing is a normal way of communicating with their significant other. Why jeopardize losing someone you prayed, hoped and worked so hard to be with at the disposal of making a choice not communicate with them? If you want to experience true, unconditional love, and have that same kind of love reciprocated back to you, changing the way you communicate and how you view disagreements is a good route to take.

If you want experience change in your relationship you must know where the heart of the problem lies. Whether you’re conscious of it or not, the way you were socialized as a child will have an effect on how you communicate today. For instance, if you saw your parents argue and scream at each other instead of talking things out, more than likely, you will either mirror what you saw in your adult life or make a decision not to practice dysfunctional behavior. Can you imagine millions of people who never took the time to know and understand who they are simply by reflecting on their past before jumping the broom? It’s not coincidence that relationships fail because of poor or a lack of communication. And those reasons for love ending are mostly minor.  It’s important to know who you are before you decide to love someone else.

Couples often wait to reach boiling point to discuss matters in their relationship when the opportunity presented itself months or years ago. Not speaking what’s on your mind is essentially a sign of poor communication. Assuming what your partner or someone is thinking isn’t always the best choice–no matter what intuitive or spiritual gifts you think they may have but if you’re hooking up with Prof. X or Jean Grey from the X-men, you’re in good hands. Effective communication is verbally expressing what’s on your mind or addressing the concern ahead of time before things spiral out of control Think of it this way: when you’re late paying a bill, interest incurs–increasing the debt. Apply this same concept to a relationship: when you continue to set aside issues, eventually your patience will incur interest. As issues continue to pile up, whether big or the size of a mustard seed, your relationship moves to the red area because someone is going to reach a point of not being able to take it anymore. When you address issues on time, you’re not only preventing something else to be added to that emotional debt, you’re also cutting down the debt on each other’s patience.

It’s easy to view disagreements in a relationship as a negative than a positive. As you can see, I am using the word “disagreement” and not “argument.” The word “argument’ has negative connotation to it and I think disagreement has a lighter tone to it. Disagreement resonates a sense of respect, fairness and neutrality. The goal is here to listen and consider each other views.

Viewing disagreements as an opportunity to learn more about a person than having the opportunity to attack them or to prove a point will increase the chances of working things out. It’s great to keep in mind that not everyone thinks or acts like us, which is why you have disagreements with someone to begin with. But what make a huge difference, and the small things you can do it to maintain a healthy relationship is to change you disagreement.

As always, thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I look forward to reading your comments.










2 thoughts on “We Argue Too Much

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