I can’t go in full length in elaborating about this quote because I’m tired, but I will take a few moments to blog a few words before I head to bed. For quite sometime, I’ve been emotionally unavailable to pursue anyone seriously. Yes, I’ve dated here and there, fulfilled a desire or two, and as much as I tried, I wasn’t emotionally available, due to the aftermath of the last woman I encountered. She wasn’t a bad person, by all means but I believe her heart was with someone else. On top of that, I was just a fractured man having difficulty containing what I felt, and I became frustrated because I couldn’t express what I felt, and this had absolutely nothing to do with sex at all. Anyhow, all the while pursing something with her. I really wasn’t ready for a love or a relationship. She met a lesser and weaker me.
I still think she’s a divinely one of a kind, but I have to give my eyes and heart a fair shot of seeing and experiencing what I saw in her in someone else. When I love, I love hard. When things don’t work out as I expected, it takes me a while heal. I can’t fathom how people jump in a out of relationships like hop scotch. My design is not but like that. I’ve only been in two relationships, all other encounters were just dates, and you can put that in quotation marks.
Naturally, when things come to an end with someone I deeply cared for, I reflect on my actions and other person to no end, and then I’m come to grips that I cannot change the past. My quotes and blogs are inspired by my reflections.
I’m starting to feel free now. I’m at place now of seeing the door of my heart open for someone to come in. I don’t know who she is, but I’m sure my Creator has polished me well enough thus far to get a well-rounded, confident and self-assured man, one who understands and knows what unconditional love looks like, who appreciates and understands the value of having a woman by your side, more importantly, she will also get a God-fearing man.
As of lately, I’m content, feel complete in God as a single man, and I still praise God having accepted the fact that I cannot change or undo the mistakes in my youth, however, I can free myself from the past so that I can avail myself to another woman. A month ago, I wasn’t able to do this. It’s impossible for me to give my heart to another woman and it desired to be with someone else. That would be totally unfair, and contrary to my character. When I came to peace with moving on from the past a few days ago, I felt relief and healing.
Whoever is she is, I want to you say to you “baby, my name is Melvin Davis and I’m ready”….I’m joking hahaha…well halfway.