The Consequences of Seeking Love Before Your Purpose Pt. II

Whether you think you do or not, each every one of us have a purpose, a duty to fulfill in our short lifetime. I have taken on a different, rather a mature perspective on life these days. I see the importance of time and its connection to my purpose. Before I depart from this earth, I’m going to do what I can to leave a positive impact. I want to see marriage flourish, equip individuals with the necessary tools to make critical decisions about relationship, etc. But to get to the point at hand, and to also lighten things up a bit lol, I want to share three consequences that follows seeking love before your purpose.

While your purpose is knocking on the door of your heart, to enter to it with life and energy, and to install passion and new perspective on life, it can’t if your attention and heart is focus on someone else. There’s nothing wrong with seeking love or desiring it, but I’ve come to understand there’s a time to seek love and a time to seek or fulfill your purpose. I’m at a place in life where I’m ready to cultivate a meaningful friendship with someone that could potentially grow into a relationship, with an aim in mind of putting a ring on her finger. But right now, I’m on a journey of fulfilling my purpose.

My purpose is clear to me and I know what it takes to get there. It’s not a coincidence why I’m single, why I’m guarded and why I don’t allow myself to get emotionally attached to anything. And here’s another reason why: Interesting enough, this past Monday (1/23/12), a minster at the church I attend had a few prophetic words to share with me that evening (which is quite odd in a Baptist Church) but she approached me at New Years service. I will not explain what she said to me word from word, but in short, God spoke through her to confirm to me that I am walking in His will. Furthermore she said, “Your face is set on that mark i.e., the goals I’ve written down, and you’re not going to let anything or anyone distract you from getting it.” To interject here, this is one reason why I haven’t allowed myself to get emotionally attached to someone; especially if I know the person will only remain in life for a short season: And this mainly women who attracted to me but are involved in problematic relationships. This is normal for me now. I see it a mile away before the conversation starts between us.  I know will leave once they have been helped or have been healed or have a better understand on their situation, its time for them to go. She goes on to say that you are a man after God’s own heart, because you’re walking with him. This was good news to be since I’ve been studying the life of David in the Bible. It was my prayer to become like David, “a man after God’s own heart.” She goes on to say, “The distractions that have come to deter you are being cut out of my life.” What she says is true. I have entertained a few love interests, but they are no longer in my life. Two people exited my life within the same day. This caused a little turbulence but it is what it is. She goes on to say, and this didn’t scare me: “Martin Luther King Jr., fulfilled his purpose at the age of 39. It will not take you long to fulfill yours. Its going to happen sooner than you think, and how its going to happen, you’re going to know that it came from God and no where else.” This is not to say that I will be passing away soon. I hope not lol, but if so, so be it. I’m not afraid, but her words does speak high volume in taking advantage of the time I have to accomplish the things I want to do as a single man, before I have a family and children. Seeking love before your purpose could position you miss out on doing what you have called to do.

Your purpose is tied to who you are as a person. There are so many people seeking love and are in relationship and don’t know who they are. You know the epiphany that individuals have every now and then, and it sounds like a cliche, but what they are saying is true. After a year or two in a relationship, some people will wake up one morning and say, “I wanna find out what else is out there i.e., in the world. I need space because I need time to myself. Lets just be friends or, it’s time for you to move on.” When people make such statements, what they are saying is that I really don’t know who I am, therefore I cannot give you me. I still need time to explore and figure out who I am.” When you really assess what they’re communicating to you, please don’t take it personal. They’re really doing you a favor. What’s screaming in those sincere and heartfelt words is that I’m going to hurt you because I don’t know myself, and once I know myself, I you may not like or I may not like you.”  Seeking your purpose before love is a wonderful opportunity to know who you are. I love writing, but because I was seeking love before my purpose in the past, I had no idea that the gift existed inside of. And although I remember at the age of 19 or 20 of jotting down as fast as I could all the things I felt God instructing me to do, one of those duties was to be a writer. Going through undergrad and grad, I sucked as a writer. I had great, profound ideas but I just couldn’t articulate them with words. But later on in life, after letting go of the woman I was in love with, it wasn’t until then that I discovered my purpose. And I’m so glad that I put love on the back burner and turned my face toward God, and you should too.

The last consequence I want to share is that you miss out on your true love. I have to keep referencing the experiences of my personal life because I feel led to. But having discovering my purpose, I no longer feel lonely. And because I don’t feel lonely, I am whole and complete as a single man, which means, that whoever the woman God sends to me, will be getting a whole and complete man–one that doesn’t need a woman to define or to set his value. When you know your purpose, you will become confident and secure in which you are, which will keep you from chasing someone who really doesn’t want to give you the time and the day. These days, if someone is not interested or begins to play games with me, I let them go–with no intention or desire of reaching back out to them. This may seem a bit cold, but hey, my time is valuable. The time chasing someone could be devoted to writing another novel or spending time with God, as well as with family and friends. In God is your purpose. In God is also the love of your life.

As always, thanks for taking the time out to read my blogs. I appreciate your time and value your comments.

By the way, depending on how I’m feeling, I may generate a list of the benefits of seeking your purpose before love.

And to you who have found your purpose after love, I’m not denying that possibility/reality either. I am speaking to those who know within in their what they should be doing, essentially what there priorities are.


Thanks again for your time. And by all means, I encourage comments.




One thought on “The Consequences of Seeking Love Before Your Purpose Pt. II

  1. charry love says:

    I am totally blown away by your depth, wisdom, & insight on love, purpose, & life in general. This is the best post I have read so far. Every point you highlighted hits home for me, I particular like the point you made when you said “you can’t enter into your purpose if your heart & attention is focused on someone else” that was profound. Thanks for sharing the prophetic word on this post, & for your transparency in your blogs, it’s helping me grow as a person. I am happy I’m learning all of this information sooner rather than later. I agree with the word you received from God, “You’re going to fulfill your purpose soon, at the rate you’re going”. Thank you for blessing my life in a tremendous way!!!

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