Learn her love language and articulate it confidently followed by action.–Melvin Davis
I believe at the core of every woman, no matter how rough she’s been sanded by the hardships of life, she still has a soft side. She wants to be courted and romanced. I want to take a few paragraphs to expound in what I believe women really want from men. I may be wrong in sharing my perspectives here, shooting from the hip as many people say, but it’s worth the shot. Read this poetically if you will. No matter how sensitive, evasive, guarded and defensive a woman can be, by nature, by desire, at heart, she has a soft, feminine place. She desires to be desired and yearns to be loved.
A woman’s love language is the way she wants a man to love and treat her. Every woman has a love language of her own. Some women are strictly feminine, as in gentle, girly-girly, soft and delicate. And these characteristics trickle over in her conversation, body language, her conduct, the way she socializes with others, her style and dress. So the romantic kind of guy, one who is a gentleman, who has the same attributes listed above, but that of a masculine version, will more than likely, be suitable for her. Other women who are not so girlish, a little on the edgy and aggressive side, as I have come to learn, like men to match their attitude, language and social behavior. And then there’s the woman who posses both the feminine and edgy side. Note: I mentioned certain feminine types because I think it’s important for a man to know the love language of the woman he pursues so he can proceed accordingly. I tend to lean toward the feminine, slightly edgy kind of woman because balance is good. I’ve dated women that were only edgy. It’s quite interesting to listen their comments about how they perceive me. Some aggressive women perceive me as “different,” and “rare,” and others just don’t know how to respond or interact with me. As much as these women think I’m a good fit for them, which stems from thought of trying something “new,” I know deep down inside they know I’m not, and vice versa. Because I’m drawn to the more feminine kind of woman, my approach is gentle, respectful, and not so much aggressive, not do I use vulgar language. Of course aggression is needed when necessary;) I think for the person who wants to try something new, something new must happen within you.
Honesty is one love language a woman’s wants a man to speak (men too). She’s heard the romantic and sweet-talk before, and regardless how pleasant it sounds; she wants to hear something new and refreshing. Originality and authenticity should be on the shelf of every man’s thoughts at any given moment. You don’t know whom you’re going to come across paths or make eye contact with. The cliché is true that there’s nothing new under the sun, but you can reword the cliché and actually follow up with action. This will enable a woman to believe that you’re being sincere and honest when you approach her. She wants you to look her in the eye and tell her exactly what you want from her so she could on the same page with you. Honesty will take you far in a woman’s heart, maybe to the point of drawing tears of joy and relief from her eyes because she’s been lied to quite often, mistreated and taken for granted. Honesty will also cultivate great, spiritual intimate relationship.
Friendship and simplicity is also another love language of a woman. Be friends first. Do the simple stuff in life. Fancy dining’s and other fancy outing’s are great, however, she’s probably used to that too. My philosophy: Let the fancy wining and dining compliment the foundation you have built with a friendship by doing the simple things in life. Going to a beach or a nice waterfront to listen to the waters converse with each other under the warm rays of sun, with the wings of angels conjuring up winds to whisper poetic verses from nature, sitting side by side getting to know the true matters of her heart e.g., things she hasn’t shared with her best friend (s) or others who she considers closes to her. And while having these kinds of heart felt conversations, a tone of honesty and sincerity and eye contact will set her emotions at ease. At this point, she’s vulnerable and listening. Eye contact lets her know that you’re actually listening and interested in what she has to say. In return, she will take the time to know the true matters of your heart as well. This is an effective way to develop a great friendship, which will increase the chances of having a wonderful relationship. And after you have built a strong foundation of friendship, wining and dining it totally appropriate. This will let you know that you’re not wasting $$$, because people, and relationships for that matter, are an investment. This will also send a message to her that you’re not wining and dining to get some loving.