If you cannot make a commitment to being with yourself, you can never truly commit to being with someone else. –Melvin Davis
When you know your worth, you’ll wait for love. When you don’t, you’ll enter relationship after another to avoid being lonely. In singleness you discover your worth. –Melvin Davis
As I’ve come to understand patience, it is a plethora of healthy things that positions you to be successful at something. Patience really places you in a win-win situation. And pertinent to the topic at hand, being patient for love increases your attractiveness, your self-sufficiency and self-stability. There are certain things we need to experience in life while we’re single that we would not have a chance to if we were in a relationship. Lets take for instance, an opportunity to build or rebuild our self-esteem, to heal from our past emotional and physical hurts, to discover or find again, our worth– furthermore, a time to pursue, passionately, our dreams, to hash out what we want and expect out of life and love. To some degree, being in a relationship won’t allow you the time to spend alone because you have an obligation to be present and an obligation to give reason as to why you need “me” time. My personal and spiritual development has been credited to being single and discovering my worth, which has encouraged me to be content as a single man.
Developing patience did not come to me overnight. In fact, it took nearly two years. The saying goes, “using the same approach expecting the new result doesn’t workout.” And that’s what I have been doing: On one hand, telling myself I was going to be patient for love, but on the other hand, my actions contradicted what I had committed to. I wont’ go into too much detail here because I want to save this revelation for a separate blog, but in brief: getting the same results is exhausting, and I didn’t have the impatience of investing my time in women I knew I would not be with in the long haul. My understanding of wasting time, as well as understanding the importance of timing, aided me in coming to a resting point. My heart finally let my mind know that I would not find love by looking for it at a time when I’m not suppose to. So I threw up my hands and surrendered. And I feel so much at peace—no rush—no worries.
Knowing your worth is something you need to take with you in your next relationship. It will enable you to stand in love as oppose to falling in love. When you stand in love, you maintain a sense of self, dignity and respect. You’re also willing to love someone unconditionally but your not foolish enough to be taken advantage of. The opposite happens when you fall in love.
If being patient for love is something you struggle with, there is a foundation as to why. In my case, I was looking for love in relationships because I did not get it from my mom. And because I didn’t experience love from my mother, my innate yearning for love and to experience searched for it any other places—until I came to the conclusion that this was not the right course of action to take. My last pursuit of love opened my eyes to see. And yes it was painful, but it was worth the transformation and wisdom and insight I’ve gained.
If you want to develop patience and experience true love, you have to learn how to be patient and love yourself as a single person—otherwise you’ll continue to fall in love—looking for someone to set and define your worth—while forever failing short of please the other person. People are attracted to those who know there worth and can sense another’s patience. Impatience makes you appear desperate no matter how good your intentions maybe in the pursuit of love.
As always, thanks for reading
FYI: I’m going viral with my blogs soon. It’s about that time for you to see and hear the writer speak 😉