A wise man pursues a woman not from a place of pity as a result of the mistakes he made in the past, but from the new man he has become. A woman doesn’t need hear about the change that taken place in your life. She needs to see it and feel it before you even speak a word to her. –Melvin Davis
It seems logical to go directly to the person you lost to rekindle a flame that burned with great potential and promise. But there are few things that need to happen first before you attempt to reconnect with the woman of your dreams. These steps will undoubtedly bring about the kind the change she needs to see in order for you to have a second chance with her. There’s also something else you need to understand: Women are by nature emotional beings. Once the channel of her perception about you changes from lover or potential lover to a person of insignificance, there’s no telling when that channel may change back. A greater level of patience of you is required of you here.
I’ve study, diligently, the life of King David and King Solomon in scripture. I wondered why God continued to lead me to study these two men. Soon after, as I see the direction I’m heading in life, I know why. He wanted me to see how he operated in their lives, how they were blessed, and their shortcomings. There was also something else He wanted me to see. He wanted me to see what happened when David and Solomon kept God first and what happened when they didn’t. God can’t become secondary when after he blesses you. In other words, if the woman you desire becomes first over Him, God will break that relationship off. He will totally disconnect you from her–leaving you with no other choice but to redirect or direct your attention back to Him.
Here are the first five steps God gave me although I have not cross paths with the woman I’m in love with.
- Submit to God’s will. In anything you do in life, submitting to God’s will guarantees success in whatever your pursuing in life, however that doesn’t negate the fact that you will encounter disappointment along the way. By submitting to God’s will, you’re communicating to God: 1) Yes I’m in love this woman, but I am wiling to give my desire for her over to you to focus on what you want me to have. I moved forward in life implementing this course of action and with the thought in mind that I may or may not ever cross paths with this woman again. You have to be willing to give up what you love to have what God has for you. This statement doesn’t suggest this woman is not the one for you, but the point I’m getting across is to focus on you and God.
- Establish or reestablish your relationship with God. I can’t tell you how much my relationship with God is the most important thing to me in life. God is the only person who will not leave me. I’m never alone in my singleness. He will never talk down or about me when I make mistakes. He doesn’t gossip about me or misinterpret my words and actions. In fact, He gets me. You want God to bless you with a woman who will get you, a woman who believe in you before that great thing in your life happens. Hence, it’s extremely important to be with a woman who is spiritually and emotionally mature. That is a virtuous woman.
Several things should happen once you establish or reestablish your relationship with Him but I want to highlight two.
3. You will discover your purpose: It maybe painful that you’re not with this special woman, but I’ve discovered purpose in my pain. The thing that hurts you will often you become your message to the world.
4. Ask God to forgive you so you can forgive yourself. For months I beat myself about the mistakes I made in my last pursuit of love. This prevented me from moving on, being open to the personal and spiritual transformation that needed to take place in my life. Also, when you fail to forgive yourself, there’s a sound of pity, an aura of melancholy that you carry that makes you seem desperate. When a woman can sense desperation, you will become unattractive to her. Forgiving yourself for the mistakes you made will position you to have a new start in your life, and a second chance at love.
5. Practice Patience. There’s something interesting I learned about women. Yes they are emotional by nature, but some can hide their emotions—giving off no sign they feel the same way about you. This can be terribly frustrating but don’t’ show frustration. Instead, be understanding about God’s timing.
The cliché God’s timing is different from ours is absolutely true. And since God timing is different from ours, the desires he places in our hearts are under his divine order and release. In other words, it doesn’t’ matter how many time you’ve prayed and fasted, text or called her, hope and wished for another chance, if God says you can’t have her now—you can’t have her.