The Importance of Spiritual Compatibility in a Relationship Pt. I

Spirituality compatibility involves how two people will mesh together, how they will handle and respond to life challenges, relationship issues, and certain transitions that have to be made in life when God calls us to.

Spiritual compatibility is a topic often overlooked when we discuss what we look for in a significant other and what we expect out of a relationship. Much attention is given to physical appearance and personality. Attraction and chemistry are important factors of developing a relationship with someone but neither can sustain a one. Good looks and personality become insignificant when you’re having issues in your relationship. Here are a few reasons why spiritual compatibility is important.

  1. You understand each other without judging each other. I’m thankful to have a God who doesn’t judge me or tell anyone about our personal business to paint an unfair picture of me. But so often, this happens in relationships. One reason why people are so closed and hard-shelled, and carry around hurt is because the person they were with, took something personal that they shared and used against them for their advantage. Someone who has a relationship with God and understands Him is compassionate and understanding. They can listen to the worse of your experiences and still love you to the best of their ability. They won’t judge you how you used to be and not look at you any different in the present.

2. Someone to confide in. Having someone you can be honest, transparent and vulnerable with lets you know you have a friend and lover in the relationship. These days, it’s one or the other because it’s difficult for many people to establish an emotional connection when sex isn’t a part of the equation. It’s lonely to be with someone who’s not loving and caring, empathic and sympathetic. I believe God wants us to trust and confide in to the person he brings in our lives–instead of having to go outside of our relationship to discuss our issues with someone else first. The first person you should discuss your issues with is the person you’re with. This doesn’t mean you’re putting God second, but it means after you have whatever conversation you have with your partner, you bring those concerns to God. What your friends and family say should confirm what God has already spoken to you. How often have relationships or the potential of love have been destroyed because too many people had a take on what you should and shouldn’t do? If we believe that God knows everything or knows us better than our loved one, why is he a second option to consult with?

3. You can overcome obstacles, together. No relationship is perfect. Disagreements are inevitable because no two people are exactly alike. It’s hard to learn from each other if you think too much alike. But when challenges arise, like communication barriers, financial hardships, death in the family or perhaps a close friend passes away, or when you aren’t on the same page emotionally, romantically or in the context of lovemaking, being spiritually compatible allows you to work through these issues with compassion, understanding, patience and unconditional love.

4. Spiritual compatibility is an opportunity to grow together spiritually. A relationship should always be evolving and growing in a progressive direction. It is a reality that relationships sometimes get stale or boring and lose its excitement. This often happens one or both persons get too comfortable in a relationship they the neglect doing the very thing that brought them together to begin with. This is okay. Consistency is challenging, but we should never get too settled that we stop water the plant of love. Growing together in God will enhance the overall vitality of the relationship–whereas you’re respecting and loving each other unconditionally, and that you’re bond and lovemaking is reaching a higher plateau.

5. When two people have a close relationship with God, it eliminates unfaithfulness and infidelity. When you take for granted or take your eyes off what God has blessed you with, more than likely your eyes will start to roam and you’ll entertain thoughts that you shouldn’t. You’ll also begin to do things that are inappropriate in a relationship. Such as flirting or entertaining someone you know that views you as more than a friend and  who’s just simply waiting for the opportunity for you to be single again.  You have to be faithful to who God has blessed you with because He has proved himself to be faithful to you when you prayed for the kind of person you’re with now.  Cheating is outright selfish, and God has nothing to do with this kind of behavior. Spiritual compatibility allows a couple to be conscious that they are a gift to each other and that true love, trust and honesty is hard to find today’s dating climate.

Stay tuned for Pt. II


9 thoughts on “The Importance of Spiritual Compatibility in a Relationship Pt. I

  1. Ms. Sandra says:

    Melvin…this is excellent. The BF and I are excited because we will be looking for a church when he finally comes home from working out of state. Thank yo for posting this…

    • Melvin Davis says:

      it’s great that you and your significant other are looking for a place to worship, fellowship and to grow together in God.

  2. Carina says:

    It was meant! So glad that I stumbled across your blog. Hope you don’t mind that I searched for your profile to like, join, friend any of your material I happen to come across.

    • Melvin Davis says:


      I don’t mind. If this blog helped you, that’s awesome. I’m sure you’ll find many other’s helpful as well

  3. Toni says:

    So happy I stumbled on to this… As a divorcee, it gives hope and true focus. Thanks for the reminder and your right its hard to find in today’s dating climate. Thanks again for taking the time to write this. I have shared it with many of my friends.

    • Melvin Davis says:


      I”m happy you stumbled on my blog too.

      Patience is required for the one who wants to true experience love, but you have to be walking in God’s will to experience all that He has for you. That’s the key here.

  4. charry love says:

    Thumbs up Melvin, you covered this topic pretty well. Honestly this is what I have always wished & hoped for in a relationship, thinking I was aiming too high. Reading this gives me hope that it does exist, and I can find one if I am patient for love. I can’t imagine what someone else has to offer me, if I have all these in a relationship. There would be no reason to be unfaithful at all because I recognize what a wonderful gift & blessing I have. And like Will Smith said “once you feel someone locked in on you, it’s no contest. I’m not going anywhere”.

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