love

The Process

Staring at a blank page, I don’t know what to type, but I know the words will come

Sometimes it’s difficult to conjure up words when one side of you is filled with indifference and the other side is benumb

Nonetheless, I know something would help me parse the silence, pull out something from the greater depths of me

The injuries have tallied up from walking with God—some I’m responsible for, others out of acts of obedience

The ground is shaking and crumbling beneath my feet

The space around is me is shrinking, as if the walls are inching closer to me everyday

Pressure mounts on top my heart making my eyes watery than usual

Explosions are going off in my mind as I try to keep my outlook on life and my faith steady

I look far down the road and I see myself as a teen

Sitting at the park in front of waters reading through Proverbs

I vowed to God, that no matter how hard it gets, I’ll never curse Him or regret the day I decided to give my life to Him

I think about those words every now and then as a man, still clinging on to them

God is still my hope

There’s some rather unusual happening to me

I no longer fear. I’m no longer afraid.

Growing in leaps and bounds of faith, becoming more like you Son, I see things from Your point of view. Sometimes this view scares me, because I see things that the typical isn’t suppose to see

My insight has become sharper–discerning the hearts, the mind and spirits of people

But you didn’t make me atypical. This gift is applicable to my calling

All I have in this humid and tropical weather is You

I tried to leave this place, but you gave me no peace of mind. You stirred my soul continuously to the point I had many restless nights, no appetite to eat

. I couldn’t do what you gifted me to do, which is to write

I returned to that place you led me to and I found peace and contentment

You opened my eyes to see a greater calling beyond writing: Never imagined being fishermen of men

Here, I embrace this place because it is one of preparation. It is one of sanctification

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