When I left South Florida, I was feeling a bit uneasy about the idea of visiting her. Deep down inside I knew I was stepping outside of God’s will.  But I ignored that feeling and proceeded to go with the flow. A few weeks after staying with her, we decided to commit. We were doing things a couple would do so it seemed only right. But here’s what I experienced through my short time there. Here are five ways you can tell if you’re the wrong person.

  1. When things are RUSHED, FORCED and a Connection doesn’t happen naturally, I’m sorry, but that isn’t love. Love flows and happens naturally. But when you skipped the stages of building a friendship and hop into something intimate in a matter of days, things will always spiral downhill. Many cannot distinguish lust from love. When I saw it wasn’t love, I immediately lost interest.
  2. I didn’t have PEACE. There were nights I couldn’t sleep. I would stay up writing instead of wanting to be in bed with her because there was no connection. Kissing someone or trying to make love when love is not there causes injury to the soul. I began to lose weight. I became withdrawn—not having much to say around her. I wanted to talk, I wanted to be an open book, but I was literally at a lost for words. God will make you uncomfortable to the point you’ll start to feel ill, which brings us to the third way you can tell if you’re with the wrong person.
  3.   I Couldn’t BE MYSELF. Authenticity is important in a relationship. If you can’t be yourself, more than likely, you’re with the wrong person. A part of who I am is who God called me to be. He’s given me peculiar personality, an introspective perspective on life. I like to have light and heavy conversations. My faith is also a part of who I am but I am no way over religious or super spiritual. Balance is the key of being of earthly good, relatable and approachable to others. In my upcoming blog, Faith and Love: How the Two Can Make Or Break Your Relationship, I’m going to elaborate on how faith has a language of it’s own. When two, as the scripture say, are “unevenly yoke,” the relationship will not work. Don’t think I am looking for a woman who’s just like me. That would be boring. But a woman who has a relationship with God matters.
  4.     You Experience Judgment. When I began to open up to her about transitions I made and some other things about my past. I mean, you should be able to confide in with the person you’re with after all. But in my confiding, I was judged.  She just couldn’t wrap her mind things I shared with her. It’s not that she didn’t comprehend— spiritually she wasn’t there. I found myself having to censor, sometimes altogether omitting certain conversations with her. I hid certain aspect of me.  She appeared to understanding at first, but as God have so revealed to me without her having to say anything, I knew she’d been sharing her misunderstanding of me to other people who had no relationship with God. I didn’t take any of personal because people respond to where they’re faith is at.
  5.    You Find Reasons to StayWhen you have to find, scrap and search for reasons to stay with someone, you’re really coming with excuses to avoid breaking away from the person. It’s natural to stay because of the amount of time you’ve invested and it’s convenient. You try to hang to the good times you can probably count on her finger you had with the person and the potential you see. I found myself looking reasons to stay in that relationship. I kept telling myself “I’m not being patient. I’m writing the relationship off too soon. Maybe she’ll see me for who I am,” but I was wrong. The longer I put off ending the relationship, the worse things got. 

I don’t want you to get the impression that I think she’s the bad woman. She’s a good person. I learned a lot from her. When you’re joined to the wrong person, the outcome will grow into something toxic. Since God knows me better than I know myself, he had to let me see what she wasn’t the one for me. 



  1. Ticia says:

    This was very satisfying to read. I have always felt there was something missing in my pased relatiionship. This has help me understand its not just me that has feeling like this.

    • Melvin Davis says:

      It’s great the you recognized what you felt in the past so you can be aware of them future. Don’t ignore the signs 🙂

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