love

Good Conversation Today

Had an interesting conversation with an older gentleman today, probably well into his late 70’s– maybe early 80’s. He saw a novel I had, squinting to make out the title. I inched it closer to him with his eyes still on the book. He laughs and asked what I do. After telling him, he suggested I write about his life. After he told about how he made it to the US, about his academic taste in science, classic literature, philosophy, metaphysics and astrology, I asked why would people want to read about that? It wasn’t an insult. I just wanted to hear his answer. He pauses, and continues talking. He tells me about how his first wife broke his heart, and then it had happened a second time with a different woman. I perked up and shared my philosophy between the difference between falling and standing in love. He says “didn’t think of it in that way before.” After I asked, “Before you fell in love, did you know if the two women were the one for you? He ponders, “good question.” 

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4 thoughts on “Good Conversation Today

    • Melvin Davis says:

      When you fall in love, you lose a sense of who you are in the relationship. You become so wrapped up in your emotions and desire for that person that you also lose a sense of reality of what really lays on the surface about the relationship. Before you know, you’ve had missed all the warning signs that were coming your way because of you desire and affection toward the person.

      Standing in love is the total opposite: You have control over your emotions. That isn’t to say you’re not going to have strong emotions for someone, but having control over them is the key that comes with discipline, thus maturity.

      You don’t’ lose a sense of self, purpose and reality of what’s going on the relationship. The question I asked the gentleman before he “fell” in love is a question a person could be able to ask their self before they even make ac commitment.

      Depending on where you’re at in life, as well as spiritually, and your understanding about timing, will determine if you would even ask the question: “Is this person I am to marry?”

      • Hmmmmm not sure how I feel about your theory. I agree and disagree. In order for a relationship to begin in the first place there should be a period of “falling in love.” If there wasn’t, then no one would have a partner. Coming into a relationship with a sole mind set of “standing” in love, in my opinion, seem a bit on the defensive. So to me it should be a combination of both, falling and standing in love.

      • Melvin Davis says:

        And that’s fine. To each his or her on their approach to love and relationships. If you what you’re doing works, keep doing it. But even some fail to realize their approach still isn’t working. That’s how you end up repeating relationship patterns. I blogged about that too.

        Thanks for reading and commenting.

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