How you perceive someone will reveal how you will treat them.–Melvin Davis
The prequel to this blog, An Awesome and Great Woman is a Proverbs 31 kind in parts I and II, I defined and described what an “awesome” and “great” woman is. I wanted to paint a clear and vivid picture of the kind of woman that every man should desire. But once a man get’s what he desires, he should hold on to her. In this blog, I want to outline five reasons why men end up losing this very kind of woman.
- He fails to view her as a gift. Instead, he sees her like the other women he dated from his past that held no real significance in his life. The quote that sets the tone for this blog points to how a man sees the woman he’s with. To take a step back, what resonates in his heart when he saw her.
When forgets how he looks like in the mirror, which is a king, he forgets how God sees him. Once he forgets how God sees him, he disconnects himself from Him. When he’s disconnected from God, he will start to take for granted all the things God has blessed him with.
2. Stop communicating to her. This is one fatal mistake men make. Most women who are excellent communicators will expect that same level communication in return. Communication not only shows you have the ability to sit down and have quality, intriguing conversations, but it also gives her insight as to how you’ll communicate when challenges arise. Everyone can communicate when everything is going well. But what she really wants to know, when things aren’t going so well, can you still look her in the eyes and tell the truth, and come to a mutual understanding how to move on from there?
3. Neglects her emotional, spiritual and physical needs.
a. A man neglects a woman’s emotional needs by turning a deaf ear to her. For women, the ability to listen shows you have the ability to empathize and sympathize with her. Listening make her feel that you’re close to her. But once you stop listening, it creates distance between you two. After many tries and attempts to get you understand this, she’ll eventually start to feel like you don’t care, like she doesn’t matter in your life.
b. Women are not only emotional by nature; they’re spiritual as well. Within a woman’s spirit, lies her relationship and understanding of God, and how fit into the framework of her spiritual life. Also in it, are her dreams and vision—thus how she sees herself in the future. And just as pertinent to the topic at hand, her expectancy of you to be a spiritual leader and presence in her life. She’s expecting you pray for her and with her. She’s also expecting you to expound and digest scriptures with her so the both of you can soar in the same direction spiritually. If she’s more spiritually mature than you, then that will reflect an imbalance in the relationship—leaving her to feel more like the man and spiritual leader in the relationship.
4. Fail to do the small things. As I noted in other blogs, the small things are the things you may think are insignificant but are. For example, let her know how nice and beautiful she looks in an outfit or how good her hairstyle looks after she leaves the hair salon or if she did it herself. You could also let her know how good her cooking is. This will let her know she’s valuable and appreciated. And if you surprise her by sending her card, perhaps to her job or showing up with flowers, attached with a brief romantic note, this will make her feel desire, beautiful, and like a woman. It will make her feel loved.
5. Make her feel unwanted, undesired and ugly. Another fatal mistake men make is making a woman feel unwanted, undesired and ugly. Part of what makes a woman feel like a woman is treating her like a woman. She must know this inside and out. To make a woman feel sexy and beautiful, feminine and confident inside and out, pay attention to her exterior and interior. Let her know how her earring’s not only compliments her outfit, but also the hue of her eyes and skin. If there’s a particular kind of jean or dress that does justice to her frame, respectfully let her know.
You can’t leave out the interior of a woman. If you notice ho strong her relationship with God is, and it inspires you or causes you to self reflect to deepen your relationship with God, she should know. If you compliments and acknowledgement of her beauty are lobbed sided in a way that you’re only focused her exterior, she’ll start to think that’s all you care about. Women don’t want to feel like objects. They want to feel respected. They want to know that you find her personality and spirituality just as intriguing and attractive as her body.