A friendship could be the beginning of a great thing.-Melvin Davis
Developing a friendship with a woman you have romantic feelings for is often despised as a small beginning. No man wants to get stuck in the friend-zone (http://wp.me/ppKQ5-20x) but love often requires sacrifice to experience it. A friendship is a stage that cannot be skipped or ignored, if you truly want to get to know a woman, and if you want something long lasting, and meaningful with her. A friendship grants you the opportunity to get underneath her emotions, to get an overview of her mind, her ambitions and fears. It also grants you access to feel and see her spirit, thus, her relationship with God, which will undoubtedly give you a look into her soul. Her soul is the person she really is. It’s where her beauty lies. It’s where her strength and the light of her purpose are. She wants the love her of her life to see this side of her.
A friendship with a woman is a bridge of her showing you who she really is and you accepting all of her. However, it takes time to experience this. Patience is required of you. Comfort and security means everything to a woman when she’s with you. She wants to reach a point where she’s comfortable enough in her skin to show her imperfections to you, because she knows you wouldn’t judge her, but will love all of her. She wants to let down her guard to expose the many layers of herself until you see her core, her soul—i.e., the essence of who she is. She’s naked at this point, but not in literal sense. But in a way that she trusts you with her mind, body and spirit, deeper, her soul. She’s given you a pathway to touch her spirit in ways she’s never be touched before, so you can experience a place many men hadn’t been. She will hurt hard if you change the course of your consistency of kindness and faithfulness towards her. And you will forfeit experiencing lovemaking with her. Worse, ruining your chances of being with her altogether.
Furthermore, a friendship gives you a chance to get to know a woman without the pressures of pretending to be someone who you are not, which will again, make her feel extremely comfortable around you. She will return that same vulnerability and transparency. Honesty and sincerity are also important in developing a friendship, as well as being truthful in word substantiated by action. Women are good listeners and are very observant of your actions. They read body language extremely well.
A friendship also provides an opportunity to develop a great rapport with her friend’s and family. Their approval or say will have some type of impact on how she envisions you in her future, and as a husband, a father, and friend. She’ll also see how well you will gel with her family, which makes for great and memorable times during Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and other special holidays or occasions.
Note: I want to urge you women not to put a guy on a panel or an interview if you haven’t reached this level of connection or if you aren’t sure where you stand with the guy. This premature evaluation can be a turnoff, and can potentially ruin a great thing. Hold off until there’s a mutual understanding of where you’re headed. It’ll save awkwardness and embarrassment from settling in. I’ve dodged these traps a few times.
If you are still wondering how a friendship relates to loving a beyond the surface, let’s put it this way: Comfort and security translates to sexual, intellectual and emotional attraction. If she’s attracted to you in this way, as time progresses, that attraction will grow into spiritual attraction, because her spirit is connecting, intertwining with yours. This is how you become one. When this level of attraction is on the horizon, you can sit in each other’s presence without speaking a word, yet you are still communicating something beautifully and romantically to each other. Your spirits are sending good energy and love back forth to each other. Why, because she now feels your spirit, and sees your beauty and true strength and the essence of who you are, and vice versa. This kind of connection and chemistry is will open her heart to receive lovemaking the stems beyond the surface of the physical and emotional. She’s waiting to experience this first time if she haven’t or again if she has. She wants the loving making experience to bring tears of unconditional love to her eyes, which essentially comes at the peak of her climax or after.
The question is: How bad do you want to make love to her? If so, stay tuned for part II. I will touch on the aspect of developing a spiritual connection with a woman.