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My Humbling Experience

Pardon the existential moment I’m having here, but I need a few moments to get a few things off of my chest. It’s about living in South Florida.

A year and a month ago I moved to South Florida. Never in my mind did I think I would end up here. It was God’s divine direction for me to come, and no other reason. I obeyed his commandment, gave my two weeks notice at my job in McLean, VA and left. This move took a lot of faith, and courage. My car broke down me several times on my way to South Fl.  This was like the ultimate test of my faith and patience. I grew extremely frustrated at times, so mad to the point that no tears would come to my eyes—only a deep groaning that came from spirit.  But I lie to you not: ever time my car broke down on me God sent me help. I actually have some evidence to prove. A couple gave me a rosary after they helped me get back on the road. They also prayed with me, and I was able to minster to them while they were fixing my car.

I tried to leave South FL at one point. I got involved in a relationship that I refuse to call a relationship because it ended less than a month. Anyhow, I found myself staying in Richmond, VA nearly three months, and then got let me know right away it wasn’t in His will for me to move to Richmond, So he ended the short relationship and sent more signs to me about South FL again that I could ignore.

From Richmond, I returned home to Connecticut. I spent Thanksgiving with family. After a few weeks of being there, I started to see signs about FL again. Immediately I was like “oh no.” I ignored them, and started making plans to move back to Northern VA or either Maryland. But one-way God lets me know if something is not in His will, He takes away my peace and sleep.  So, I surrender my will to God and moved back to South FL the day of my birthday.

This time around, I felt a sense of peace, like South FL was where I needed to be. But still, things were rough. Every single day I prayed for the strength to get by, because I’ve never been tried and tested like this. Ever. I can say when you’re under pressure that pressure sometimes will hurt, make you feel comfortable, at times, isolated. It will also cause you to within at your inadequacies to see why you have to truly trust and depend on God. I really know what this means now.

Good things have come about since living in South FL. I’ve grown in leaps and bounds, personally and spiritually. My relationship with God has been closer than ever.  No other feeling can compare. I met some really encouraging people in passing, who spoke great things about my future as writer and entrepreneurial career. I truly believe these were my angles. God allowed them to see the great things He’s placed inside of me.  My perspective on life, love, relationships and marriage has become clearer. I see my future. I can see myself being successful. I really do.

There are moments like I now, where I’m like God, why I’m here in South FL. I have to keep in the reasons in my mind of why I’m down. I know why. There are three reasons. However, the fourth reason remains a bit unclear. I believe that reason has something to do with love, but so far, a love life in South FL has been nonexistent. I haven’t dated anyone since I’ve been here partly because of the mentally that many women have down here. It’s a little on the shallow, and showy side. They use their bodies as a means of finding love, which is an instant turnoff for me. A woman’s curves isn’t the only I find attractive. I value her intelligence, he relationship with God, and personality. I’ve reached a point where I don’t look any more.

The only reason why I’m here in South FL is because of God. If hadn’t been for Him, I would have moved back to Northern VA a long time. I swear. We often forget the purpose God has us in a particular place because of the hardships that keeps are mind busy, and distracted. But we can’t forget His purpose and HIs plan. We can’t forge the Why of things.  I have to reposition myself like TD Jakes says, and allow the reason why I’m here in South FL to give me peace and solace down here. I’m sure, when other variable fall into place, Iike becoming a homeowner by 2016, maybe even finding love, ‘m sure my perspective and attitude would. Until that day, I shall not loose sight. I shall remain focused.

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3 thoughts on “My Humbling Experience

  1. God has a great purpose for you, as you write you touch lives. I been reading you work and it has truly blessed me. I often wonder why God put us in desert places alone, the answer is to see if we are will to wait on him for everything. The hardest thing is waiting on who, what, when and how from God. I seek him in my purpose as I wait on who he has for me. I have tried to date but men do not want a Ministry minded woman that they can not use for their own pleasure. I say, I am God’s daughter and he had a great man of God for me. South FL, is great would not want to live anywhere else unless God move me. Be encourage God’s purpose is always best. Keep writing it’s so needed, God Bless You

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