Men commit to what makes sense in their future.–Melvin Davis
Men know what they want when they see it. And men aren’t decisive when it comes to matters of their heart. Because men are rational first, emotional second, it doesn’t take them long to make a decision about a woman they’re dating. More than likely, we know at first sight. If not, as time progresses, we will know if she makes sense in our future or not.
There are three categories a man will place a woman in when he first sees or have the first conversation with her. Either he will place her in the friend-zone, the friend-zone with benefits (and you know what I mean), or he will see a wife in her. If he places her in the friend-zone, it’s because the physical attraction isn’t there, of if it is there, it’s because he can’t connect with you beyond what he sees. This is why it’s dangerous for a woman post pretentious pictures of themselves to lure men. You will get what you’re projecting. If he places you in the friend-zone with benefits, it’s nothing other than a physical attraction. If he sees a wife in you, he holds nothing back—quite vulnerable in a sense that’s he’s willing to let you into a place that most women have never gotten to know.
If he hasn’t told you he loves you, more concretely, that he’s in love with you, it’s because he doesn’t see you in his future (I’ll explain the other possibility later). Although it seems like he’s courting, I love you are three words that will never leave his mouth.
In other cases, there are some men who have a fear of settling down. Perhaps what their parents had gone through–let’s say a nasty divorce, or what they witness about their close friend—probably cheating or infidelity. These are both chilling possible scenarios that could shake up any man–including me, the one who writes about true, unconditional love because he believes in it. It takes time for me to commit.
But while fear is reality that exists within our minds and emotions, when a man finds a best friend in you, it’ll be hard for fear to be present in his heart. He will not have a problem of jumping the broom/saying I do when the time is right. In fact, he’s looking forward to that special day.
Keep in mind that security means something totally different than to men vs. a woman. A woman finds security in a man’s ability to protect and take care of her. A man finds security in a woman’s ability to be faithful to him, even when he does not love you at his best.