love

What Fear and the Past Can Do in Your Present

She arrived home and carefully removed the bouquet of roses from her car. “Hmm, what’s this here?” she pulled out a manilla envelope and took a seat on the steps. She found a note inside that read:

“Dear Jennifer,

This was a wonderful night. Forgive me if things feel like they are moving too fast, but know that I’m not rushing you into anything. What I did tonight was genuine, sincere and completely unconditional. You owe me nothing in return. However, what I’m starting to feel for you cannot be denied. I really like you. I enjoy your company and conversation.  I think you’re a great woman with a beautiful spirit.  I’m looking forward to how our friendship will evolve.

I hope you enjoyed your time with me as much as I did with you. Have a good night, Jennifer.

Sincerely,

David Bradshaw.”

Jennifer laid the card down beside her. Words couldn’t fathom how special David made her feel on this night.  She stared into the infinite black skies, and saw stars flashing its brilliance across the universe, the moon tucked amidst smoke gray clouds that seemed to configure two hands collapsed over each other. She cupped her hands over her nose, her vision becoming blurry, feeling the churning deep within again. The spirit of love cocooned her, as she rocked side to side. But fear wiggled into her heart again when she was ready to go forward.

Mom, I think Robert is the one,” Jennifer said to her mother after their third date.

Her face fell into her knees, and she saw the disappointment on her face when she looked into the mirror that night after walking away from Robert. The love she started to feel for David scared her. “This isn’t be real,” she said rereading the card—searching for some blemish or insecurity in the words, but she found none. His action held his words up to its standards. She put the card back into the enveloped and stuffed it back into the bouquet. She had never experience anything like this before. She couldn’t believe David. Her past wouldn’t allow her to believe the potential love birthing in her present.  

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