When your heart is so committed to being with someone, it’s easy to overlook the signs that the person you’re with may not be the one God has for you. As I’ve matured in my spiritual walk, I’ve discovered that time is something that’s extremely important to me. Since I don’t have time to waste, I pray for confirmation before I invest myself into any potential relationships. I can’t afford to waste my time with someone or experience any unnecessary emotional turmoil that could be a distraction to my purpose and mental well-being
About two years ago I met someone who had many of the characteristics that I look for in a future wife. After our initial conversation, we decided to meet up again. As I drove home that night from seeing her, I prayed a specific prayer. Not long after I returned home, I received a text from her that read we would be better off as friends. I was a little disappointed—yet not surprised. While talking at the restaurant we were at, although the physical attraction was mutual, I saw that we weren’t spiritually compatible. Note: Be conscious of the reasons why people are drawn to you. If someone is ready to commit to you solely off of physical attraction, more than likely, they still have some growing to do. And there maybe some other pieces missing to their puzzle of what it takes for a relationship to work. Anyhow, I also saw that our approach to building a relationship was different. Mine was one of establishing a friendship first, and allow the obvious to happen in it’s own time. That night, she had the look in her eye that she wanted to kiss me. I was tempted to. The person that I was a long time ago would have done that and more. But as I matured, I believe that establishing a friendship and a spiritual connection is an important step to take in building something long lasting and meaningful. The obvious will happen if you’re physically attracted to each other. It takes more effort develop a friendship and seconds to say, “Okay—we’re together now. Although she was younger than me, I wouldn’t say that age mattered, but spiritual maturity did. Nonetheless, I thanked God for revealing that she wasn’t my wife immediately.
Several months later, I started to date someone else. She had all of the characteristics I looked for in a future wife. But as time progressed, I felt as though something was missing. It was as if God was saying, before you make x, y, z decision, let me show you something first. And He did. As time went on, certain behaviors surfaced, and I saw what kind of relationship patterns she had—that began much like our “relationship.” However, after receiving all kinds of signs that she wasn’t the one. I still questioned God. I was unsure. Sometimes the signs are so clear that appear surreal to us. When this happens, I believe there’s a certain kind of prayer to pray, to receive the kind of answer that we can’t question or second-guess. And that answer may be the very thing that forces you out of that relationship.