Loving Each Other God’s Way

Loving God’s way brings out the best in each other.–Melvin Davis

The 9 fruits of God’s Holy Spirit are spiritual essentials you need function in God’s will with authority, confidence and excellence, as well as handle it’s responsibilities with integrity, a great level of patience and professionalism, when challenges arise. But the use of the 9 fruits God’s Holy Spirit isn’t just limited to walking in His will. Those spiritual intangibles are also applicable to a relationship. In order to become what God wants you to be each other, you must shower the love of your life with the 9 fruits of His holy spirit.

1. The number one fruit of God’s Holy Spirit is Love, because He is love.

Love is the reason we exist. Human beings are an expression of God’s Love. When God created us, he’s given us the capacity to love. Love is the greatest gift to experience in this world. Love is embedded in our DNA: It’s in our mind and emotions, in our bodies and spirit, which is why we can experience love on all four levels.

To express your love to the one God has blessed you with is an everyday opportunity to love that person God’s way. God’s love is full of compassion and passion, faithfulness and unselfishness, self-denying and sacrificing, sympathy and empathy, security, absolute assurance and confidence.

Love isn’t competition. Couples who feel the need to compete with each other, or to be dominate over one another, its because they’re simply insecure. Insecurity is linked to the lack of love you have for yourself, and the fear of the giving of yourself. It all boils down to control. Love isn’t controlling. Love is the absence of control and the freedom to be.

If God were insecure with us, he wouldn’t have given us the gift of freewill. He would create us in a way that robots are designed to function according to they way it was programmed. That’s not love. That’s what you call control and manipulation and insecurity.

Loving God’s way means allowing each other to be who God created you to be. God never asks anyone to rewrite or rewire the way He created someone, which is why He’ll never put in you situation where you have to. Yes, there are some destructive bad habits and attitudes that need to be done away with but the nature and essence of who someone is, who they are.


2. It’s a great feeling to be around someone who’s full of Joy. God is joy!

After God spoke the heavens and the earth into existence, He created light and distinguished it from dark. He also separated the skies from the water, spoke animals and all other living organisms that roam this earth into existence and he created man. Everything He created, He said it was “good.” To call something good means there’s excitement and delight in what you made.

Life is challenging and riddled with seen and unforeseen obstacles. To spend the rest of your life with someone who’s pessimistic and condemning, who speaks the opposite of life and hope, is to be with someone who doesn’t have a spirit of joy. Bitter people are equipped to speak disbelief and doubt. Question. Are you pursuing someone who’s speaking doubt and discouragement into your life?

In a relationship, joy looks like encouragement and inspiration, love and passion, positivity and optimism, faith and hope. I hear people say all the time “I’m just being real” or “rationale.” Of course, something’s are what they are, but faith can breathe and function in high and low places. Whereas, reason doesn’t have the perspective to see beyond its own limitations or speak faith when things seem bleak. Reason doesn’t have the ability to comprehend that there’s a second chance or another opportunity. Nor can it sense that what God has placed within you, will come to pass. You want to be with someone who knows God, who has faith in Him and who has truly walked by faith. You could have all the book knowledge about God or have sound theology, but if you’re knowledge and theology has never become practical in your life, it will show. Others will see your experience with the Divine is rigid and insensitive one. A relationship is an emotional and spiritual affair.

With joy in your heart, your presence alone can act as a healing and therapeutic agent to the love of your life, when they are experiencing tough times of their own. Having your spirit lifted reignite hope. I’m sure it has an impact on your immune system.

3. Peace is the very thing that keeps all things together working in harmony and the way it was designed to function. God is peace!

Someone who’s hot-tempered and has a big ego often have difficulties communicating and seeing their faults. Communication is challenge for them because they’re emotions are overriding their ability to think and reason clearly. See, reason isn’t all that bad 😉 It’s possible to come to a mutual understanding resolution when peace isn’t in your heart. But when you have in you, you’re able to communication without malice and anger, and admit your wrongs without reservation of feeling humiliated or embarrassed. You can’t give pride a seat in your relationship. It will eventually want to take the driver seat and take control. The destination is destruction.

A heart without peace is a concoction for destruction.

4.God is patient with you, therefore practice patience with the person you’re with.

He wants you to practice the same kind of patience with the love of your life that He has with you. Patience simply means to keep your cool when your emotions are telling you not to, to endure uncomfortable times without condemnation and to love the love of your life when you don’t feel like loving.

Living to see another day to experience God’s presence is an act of His love and patience.  Could you imagine God losing His cool with you when you made a mistake? Could you imagine Him throwing your sins in your face when He forgave you for something you did 5 years ago, last week or yesterday. Unfortunately, this is what some people do. They “forgive you” for the offense, but later remind of you of faults later. In a way, it’s like betrayal. Condemnation is a painful emotional blow and a reminder for someone to feel what they felt when they did you wrong. It’s unfair and insensitive to condemn someone. This is what Satan does folks.

You can’t be condemn and practice impatient, and love at the same time.

5.  God is kind by showering you with compliments every single day. For example, he lets you know that you’re beautiful, intelligent and gifted through the sincere words of someone else. When you open your eyes in the morning, He saw fit to still believe and have confidence that you will fulfill His will for your life.  When He sends you a word of encouragement through someone, that you are better than your past, God is reminding you that He loves you and thinks otherwise of you, despite when you or others may think less of yourself. He’s grace and mercy is like fertile ground for you to grow and flourish.

How often do you give the love of your life compliments? Do you tell that person how good they look often? Do you thank them for listening to you, offering you sound advice or praying with you? Do you tell each other that you believe in each other? Are you presence of help or discouragement?

Being kind to the love of your life is like watering a plant. Shower each other with kindness.

6. To impart something into someone else without a romantic ulterior motive or to receive something back is generous. What if God did things for you to receive some monetary or self-gratifying pleasure? Is that love or generosity? Yes, He wants your worship and praise, but even that isn’t forced on you. He receives your worship and praise when it’s done out love and sincerity. Hence, freewill 😉

Many people in relationships go out their way to please their significant other, but have the thought in the back of their mind “that I better get something back.” That’s not love, nor is it being generous. Romantic ulterior motives often backfire. You’re not a “help” to someone if your motive is to draw closer to that person. You are a potential distraction to the aim at mind, and giving to receive, more than likely, results to disappointment.

When there’s a cycle of generous giving in a relationship, no one is withholding their best or is concerned about receiving: The focus on each other, and not on the self.

7.  God is faithful to you, so be faithful to the one He’s blessed you with. Faithfulness is who God is.

It’s becoming more difficult to find true love these days. There are so many poor devices of influence lingering in social media, television and the radio airwaves that its provoking people to seek love to benefit the self or to use their bodies to find something meaningful. And because of failed relationships and disappointment, many people are guarded and reserved. So, if you do find the kind of person God whispered in your heart that you would find, you better hold on to it.

It takes discipline and constant reminders of God’s blessing to be faithful. Faithfulness means keeping your heart and love in the right place. As well as, your mind, body and spirit. Faithfulness means not engaging someone else in a way that could incite romantic feelings, within you or someone else. Faithfulness means to be conscious of your conduct and conversation with someone. Faithful means to never give someone the idea that they can have you in any kind of romantic or sexual way. Faithfulness means confiding in the love of your life. Faithfulness means guarding each other’s interest, and being there for each other, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually available to your significant other. They are your best friend, and confidant.

8. God is gentle; therefore He is gentle with us. 

Gentleness employed in a relationship would look like mutual respect and kindness, sympathy (never apathy) and benevolence. Also, being considerate of each other’s feeling and perspectives, although you may disagree.

It’s important for a man to be gentle to a woman. Her heart and emotions are the most sensitive parts of her. Empathy reveals you can listen and understand her. Empathy is what brings you two closer. And from a woman to a man, she must also choose her words carefully, as well as using certain pitches in her tone of voice. Men have extremely big egos, because we have to uphold a sense of strength and confidence. When the ego is stroked the wrong way, a man will respond indifferent to you.  Never talk down to each other, but always lift each other with love and respect.

9.  Woosah, aka, Self-control. We’ve seen an angry God in the Old Testament scriptures, but He had to get angry to discipline humanity for their disobedience. I’m not using this example to use fire and brimstone against the love of your life.

God’s spirit needs to be in you to practice self-control, because you’re not able to overcome temptations or stop the momentum of your emotions when they’re rising up to the surface. Self-control will save your relationship/marriage. We all know the countless stories of infidelity, verbal and physical abuse, the weight gaining stories, and other emotional, physical and spiritual ailments that have destroyed the lives of many people. Self-control is going to help you stay in God’s will, whole and healthy. Anything that happens in His will, maybe His will.

Self-control demonstrated in a relationship is either two people walking away from a heated argument so things could cool down, or listening to each other perspectives to gain a better understanding, and not talking over each other to prove the other person wrong. Disagreements ultimately serve the purpose of learning someone else thinks and reasons, and how they feel about certain things. Arguing is destructive. It seeks to belittle, embarrass or hurt the person you don’t see eye-to-eye with.

I believe one reason God joins two together other than experiencing love is to a ministry together. When you’re serving in God’s purpose, you’re going to have to engage in battle and fight life changes together. That’s love and teamwork. It’s not God’s will to battle and war against other.

Loving each other God’s way will help bring out the best of two in a relationship. It’s going to lengthen its years, and keep the passion and vigor. Pray for the 9 fruits of God’s holy spirit, so you can love each other the way He designed you two to love.




One thought on “Loving Each Other God’s Way

  1. charry love says:

    I enjoyed reading this blog, it’s filled with great insights. I particularly love how you broke it down using the 9 fruit of the spirit. i learned a lot from this post. thank you for sharing your wisdom, & allowing God to use you to minister to me. daily You are an incredible inspiration to me. Grateful to have met someone like you!

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