Days ago I was asked the question, what kind of woman am I attracted to? My response, “I’ll start from the inside out. Finding some you’re physically attracted is the easy part, but finding compatibility is the challenge. What’s in a woman’s spirit, how she thinks, and what comes from her mouth could maintain or break my attraction to her. What’s inside the heart and spirit is equally important as the exterior.
I can’t ignore the person and the man that I am becoming in God. I know myself well enough to know what kind of woman I would or wouldn’t be attracted to. I gel well with people who are purpose driven, who have a hunger and desire to fulfill their dreams and who have a great relationship with God. I could bounce ideas of this person all day, and engage in great conversation, whether on or beneath the surface. I could talk to such people without second-thought of being judged or condemned. There’s a certain level of intellect, emotional and spiritual maturity that makes being that person company fulfilling. That’s to say, I’m attracted to a woman who posses some of these qualities.
There’s something special about a woman’s spirit when she’s connected to God. There’s a certain level of confidence and certainty, peace and humility that makes me want to build with her. This kind of God-fearing woman doesn’t have to dress in a provocative way to attract men. Her style is eloquent and subtle. Her beauty and spirit alone speaks would resound just as her physical makeup. Furthermore, I could talk to this woman about anything, because she understands something about human frailties and mistakes. She has a heart of understanding, compassion, and patience. Therefore, I could share personal experiences and journeys with her about God without being called “crazy” or asked the question “why’d you do that” or “what were you thinking?” I have discovered the questions I’m asked tell me if I should go forward with her or not. I find that such questions reflect a person’s faith and experiences with God. As God prepares a place of ministry for me in my next move, I have to keep in mind how she would compliment me in my purpose. Recently, I had a divine encounter. She told me the Holy Spirit is going to lead me to my wife. This sort of caught me off guard, because I’m finding someone really isn’t on my mind right now. But the saying goes, when you’re not looking, you’ll find love. I word it this way: “When you’re not looking for love, God will guide you to that person He has for you
Note: Some say age doesn’t matter. I agree. There’s truth to that statement. But I’ll go on to say, maturity does. By maturity, I’m speaking of emotional and spiritual maturity.
If I am honest with myself, I will say that my writings do garner a lot of attention. Although I’m fond of such compliments, I never allow them define who I am, or alter or change my behavior and how I view or interact with people. I stay humble. I’m confident and secure in the person I am, so I don’t need compliments to build myself esteem or appraise my worth. I’ve talked to women who would playfully say, “I bet you’re a player” or “I know you talk to x amount of women.” Although she may say, “I’m joking,” there’s some truth and concern behind her statements. I would regret entering relationship with someone with who I would have to consistently reaffirm that she has my undivided devotion and attention. That’s work and that’s not to say a woman doesn’t deserve to be showered with compliment and random acts of kindness, but when it’s done because of insecurity, that’s draining. If I say I am with you, believe me. Trust me. I’m not the kind of guy that’s going to pour water into a broken vase. Eventually, I’ll become empty.
It ‘s a man’s responsibility to make sure his woman feels like the most beautiful woman in a room, even if she’s amongst other attractive women. I know this. When I’m really into the person I’m with, she’ll come to know the depth of my respect and adoration for her. I am a faithful man.
When I crafted my new novel Love Again, I created Jennifer Washington in a way that she would be the kind of woman I would pursue. Be on a look out for it. I’m currently going in the editorial stages.
Stay tune for Pt II What Kind of Woman I’m Attracted to?