For a man walking with God to find a holy and righteous woman in a committed relationship with Christ, the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit is needed. Walking with God and in self-control is also pertinent in avoiding deception. Fellowship with the Trinity, reading the Word of God and prayer is where discernment comes from. You don’t want to be misled or seduced by a woman who claims to have given their heart to Christ. You could tell if she truly has a relationship with Christ by the fruit she bears. Many popular/mega Christian Churches are secular, because their leaders who are pastoring them are. This happens when the leader isn’t living a holy and righteous life. The focus in ministry today is about who has the largest church. Large churches are built by the comfortable messages preached. Simply put, they’re afraid to teach the Gospel out of fear of offending people, which may translate to losing members. People have unfollowed me from sharing the truth. I’m fine with that. As long as they read the truth, they’re responsible for what they now know. This is a time to mature. Ministry today has less to do with signs, wonders, miracles and true spiritual transformation that could only happen by the presence of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, when you have secularism filtering into the church and a fraction of the truth taught, a body of secular Christians are produced. Consequently, you have Christians living secular lives, because their leaders aren’t encouraging them to live a holy and righteous life.
In the introduction of this blog, I explained how my preference in a Christian woman has changed. I credit my commitment to living a holy and righteous life. In addition, answering the call to deeper intimacy in Christ. I can’t see myself with a Christian woman modeling herself after the world and the secular entertainers she’s influenced by or content with not growing spiritually. God revealed to me you could still be unequally yoked with another Christian. You’re probably asking yourself, how is that possible. The answer lies Christians who to adapt the ways of world vs., the ones truly walking out their life in Christ. Yes, you are in the world, but Christ teaches us to not conform to it. (John 17:16)
Before I move on to type of Christian woman walking with God looks like according to the word of God, and not the thoughts of Melvin Davis, I want make a brief point to women:
You have and will continue to come across Christian men who haven’t truly committed their life to Christ. They’re going to tempt you have sex, object to celibacy before marriage or approve moving in together when you aren’t married. To men, some Christian women may have the same influence on you as well. Marrying for the sake of making it “right” to have sex is still fornication. Lust was the motive to create a sacred union. It wasn’t God that brought you together in unity to become one flesh (Matthew 19:5). I urge both men and women to live their life in Christ, to pursue holiness and righteousness and to not be afraid of standing out. God called you apart. You were never meant to fit it.
This is the kind of Christian woman a man walking with God is praying for.
- A woman who’s Set Apart. A priest.
You must be holy because I, the LORD, am holy. I have set you apart from all other people to be my very own. -Leviticus 20:26
But you are the chosen race, the Kings priests, the holy nation, God’s own people, chosen to proclaim the wonderful acts of God, who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9
A priestly woman is set apart. She’s a woman living her life in Christ without one foot in the world. When you’re walking with God, you’re distinguishable, different, and peculiar. Some people may go on to describe you as “intriguing,” “different,” or “unique.” A Christian believer may say, “You really are walking the walk.” It’s possible to be unequally yoked with another Christian.
There are some Christians who just refuse to fully surrender their life to Christ. It’s uncomfortable for them. They care about what others may think if they choose a life of holiness and righteousness. They’re afraid of not being able to have fun or being lonely. It saddens me they have listened to the lies of the adversary, the desire of their flesh and other Christians who have been taught the word of God incorrectly. As a result, they still do, watch and listen to what the world listens to you. 2 Timothy says, the NLT, “They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly.”
A priest is compatible with a priest. In other words, two people pursuing holiness and righteousness are compatible with each other. When two people aren’t, lifestyles and ways of thinking will clash. Arguments would also occur as well as many moments of spending less time together. The individual fully surrender to Christ will desire like-minded company. The person who’s in the world will cling to similar company.
2. A woman of God who doesn’t fashion herself after the world.
The world comes up with a variety of terms and mantras to give women a sense of self-empowerment. I wonder why does a Christian woman need to be validated by the world when Christ knew you and set you apart before you were born (Jeremiah 1:5). Embracing secular terms don’t align with who Christ such as “Diva,” “bossgirl/bosslady” and “alpha female” are unbiblical. Acting “hood” is unbiblical too. Men also embrace these secular tags and model their behavior after them. Jesus, the Son of God, wasn’t and isn’t an alpha male, nor did he liken himself to one, yet He’s The King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I strongly suggest women look up the word diva to find out the origins of it.
A woman who’s walking with God models herself after the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), which can be seen when you study the life of Christ in scripture. When you see Christ, you see the Holy Spirit. The book of Proverbs is a direct correlation of the wisdom of God on display through the life of Solomon (Isaiah 11:2 and Proverbs 1). Proverbs 31 is a direct correlation and representation of how Christ sees fit, of how His daughter, soon to be bride, and already bride, should carry herself. A woman who walks with God is confident, strong and humble. She’s a woman of faith and prayer, patience, love and joy, and more. She is the bride that Jesus sees.
3. A woman you can fellowship with.
I chose not to use the word “friendship” for a reason. There are two kinds of friendships: Christ-like and secular. As a believer, we have to balance the two. I say balance because we are called to share the Gospel of Christ with those who are living in the world and to strengthen other believers who have one foot in the world or are still maturing in their faith.
By fellowship, I’m speaking of a Christian woman you could enjoy being around. You could also have Bible study and pray together. You could really dig deeper into the deeper things of God, and not leave the conversation feeling you shouldn’t have discussed a particular topic. I’ve been there. Awkward feeling.
Conversation, chemistry, discussions and socializing runs much smoother when you’re engaging a woman who’s on the same walk in Christ as you are. It would be amazing to meet a woman who has the same spiritual goals as you do. I came across a prophet recently that the Holy Spirit led me to on Youtube. God reveals things both he and his wife at the same time. I thought to myself, how wonderful that is to experience things in the spiritual realm at the same time.
Fellowship in a relationship is important. It’s a sign of compatibility, and the two of you are on a track to grow spiritually.
- A woman of Humility
Vanity isn’t hard to find. In social media you’ll find vain, haughty, arrogant, conceit, sensuality and sexuality oozing from the images of women. Some women are constantly throwing themselves into social media to solicit attention, validation and self-worth. Even married ones. Men who give into these forms of seduction and desperate attempts of attention and validation are also walking in the lust of their flesh. They are looking to satisfy the lustful desire in the way these women are. Lust and holiness do not agree with each other.
A woman who possesses the spirit of humility doesn’t need throw herself at men. She’s confident enough in the timing of Christ to be sought (Proverbs 18:21.) Both men and women, who rely on their bodies to find love, haven’t discovered their identity in Christ. The Fruits of the Holy Spirit in you is as just attractive of the physique or beauty God has given you. However, when you rely solely on good looks, you will reap what you’re sowing. You may find an attractive or successful man by the way your present yourself, but that doesn’t guarantee you’ll land a committed and faithful husband who’s sold out to Christ. That goes for men too. “Arm candy or a “trophy” wife comes with a price. More than likely, it’s going to cost you $$$$.
Many Christians do drift away from the word of God. When this happens, they conform back to their old ways. Humility is who Christ is. He’s the perfect example and definition of humility. Look at him, then look at you.
5. A man who walks with God looks for a godly mother in a godly wife.
I pay close attention to how a woman talks and carries herself. It gives me insight to the kind of mother she would be. The vision that I have for my family is a Christ-centered one. With the help of my wife, I envision reading and teaching my children from the book of Proverbs. With my daughter, I would teach her about a virtuous woman, and the kind of woman she should avoid becoming and socializing with. I imagine teaching my son by about Adam and his rightful place in the Garden of Eden before the fall. I would transition out of the OT scriptures into the NT, and show them God’s remarkable plan of redemption through Jesus Christ. Christ will be there ultimate primary focus on conducting their self in a secular world. This is shortlist of how I want to raise my family with my wife. When it comes certain things I look for a woman, one certainly is a mother.
When I hear profanity leave a woman’s mouth, see herself posting seductive pictures and behaving haughty, I wonder how she’s like as mother. Children are like clay. They take on the shape of what they see, hear and what they are taught. If the mother has a nasty and sassy attitude, more than likely, the child would have one too. If the mother is living her life in Christ, more than likely, her children would too. I’m not speaking or a religious mother but one who has a relationship with Christ.
Men who are walking in the spirit aren’t moved the beauty of women. They see beyond the surface and into the spirit. Some women complain about not finding a good man or someone lost out on them. Perhaps your lack of commitment to Christ is the reason why the relationship didn’t work out or why the guy passed you up. God may have prevented a disastrous relationship and heartbreak. I wouldn’t pursue a woman who has no desire to give her life to Christ or grow in Him. Christ said, you don’t pour new wine into old wineskins. If so, the old wineskin would break (Matthew 9:17). In other words, praying for a godly husband when you aren’t living a holy, righteous and committed relationship with Christ isn’t going to work. You would be unequally yoked.
It’s my prayer that you seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness; so all the other things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33). God has great things in store for you, but you will only possess them with a transformed and renewed mind that comes by the reading of the word. Say goodbye to the past and what didn’t work out. Jesus loves you so much to allow you live below His will. Connect to Christ and fully surrender to Him. Get in the word so it can cleanse your spirit and transform your mind.
Note: The photos of women featured in my blogs are in no way a representation of a Christian or Proverbs 31 woman. I choose them because they’re elegant.