Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Relationships, romance

The Biological Clock in Men

I was catching up with my Dad a few days ago. Yesterday, I talked to my mom. I’m not sure how we got on the topic, but my parents asked when am I getting married? The question caught me off guard.  Given that my parents are divorced and no longer talk to each other, I don’t think it’s a coincidence they asked me the question a few days apart from each other. I believe they want to see my sibling’s and I marry. I think they also want grandchildren. Anyhow, I didn’t have an immediate answer. I had to think about it. I feel like I’m in an awkward place when it comes to a love life. Finally I said to the both of them, “It’s not like your days where it was easier to find someone. Things are different now.  I’m in my mid late 30’s. Women my age are either married or divorced with children. Some divorced women have accrued deep emotional and mental wounds that may require counseling or just time alone.  I retired from playing the role of a counselor. Other divorced women are so guarded that would take work to gain their trust. I don’t foresee expending time and energy.” At least God hasn’t put it on my heart too. Some women my age are still clubbing and partying. This is not the kind women I want to be with. As far as women with children, although I’d like two of my own, I’m open to being with someone who has children. I wasn’t when I was much younger. There are moments when I don’t think about having children. I’ve been on my own so long that I’m used to thinking single-minded.

With younger women, patience is a required of you and communication can be a challenge. Where she’s at in her relationship with Christ, how emotionally stable and mature she is and where we’re on the same page intellectually, tells me if she’s worth pursing. By younger I’m talking about the ages between 27-32. Anyhow, younger women I’ve encountered aren’t so much great communicators. They are rather evasive or passive aggressive. Both are a turnoff to me. Other younger women are just in a different place in life. They’re still having fun, figuring out or pursuing what they want out of life. This presents a problem. When you know what you want and are headed, and the other person isn’t, you’re not going to merge together because you’re walking two different paths. Usually the people who are interested in you are the one’s you aren’t really attracted to. I don’t think I need to elaborate on this statement

I heard about women having a biological clock. They reach a certain age in their prime, where they want to marry and have children. I’ m starting to believe men have a biological too. When I see a father with his daughter, or with his wife and kids, I get to thinking, I want a daughter to spoil of my own. I’m at a place in life where I desire to build a life with my wife and have a family of my own. A part of me is starting to believe that maybe marriage isn’t apart of God’s plan for my life. And that maybe there’s a possibility that God has called me to a life of singleness like the Apostle Paul. If this is what God has called me to, I would have to shift my mind from my personal desires to what God planned for my life. It would be hard, but I know God’s will bring out the best in life.

 

 

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7 thoughts on “The Biological Clock in Men

  1. Leticia says:

    Very interesting topic, I was ask on the 4th of July was I still waiting for my husband. I look at the person and said no I don’t even think about marriage. I have one child he is in college and still having him at 21 people notice I did not really date a lot. I just felt my parents never had different people in and out my life so why would I do that to my son. Well they have also been married to each other for over 40 years. Something I don’t see in people my age divorce is to easy for everyone.

  2. Anonymous says:

    There are things that we desire so deeply that, oftentimes, it can feel like a burden on our hearts. I don’t believe God would give you such a strong desire to show His love by way of marriage and He not have the intentions of fulfilling it. Perhaps He is just preparing His best for you…great post.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Wow this was a good and interesting read…

    And its true, two people have to be on the same page for things to work and such helps you know if you are after the same goal

    • Melvin Davis says:

      Thank you. I think often times people get together without discussing where they’re headed or what’s the goal or the point. I’ve come to understand the value of time as I matured. There’s no rush for love, however, there’s no need to waste time.

  4. Rhonda Lewis says:

    Amen….God has a plan and in His time it will happen. Your doing the right thing by not letting the flesh so to speak get you. You know what your heart wants but so does God. I can relate to the Apostle Paul. At least you want settle for the sake of having a wife and children. Blessings to you…

    • Melvin Davis says:

      Hello Rhonda. Long time. I pray all is well.
      Thanks for reading my blog. I’m back to blogging again 🙂
      I think it’s important to walk in the spirit while single. Temptation surround us daily. and it’s easier to get in trouble with social media. But I pray my strength in the Lord.

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