Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

Intimacy of Covenant Pt. I

In the introduction, I touched on how love is often defined by emotion. For many people, how someone makes you feel is the premise for what love is and feels like. However, God is love and He is spirit. Love exists and began because of Him. And everything He created was out of love. Galatians 5:22 highlights the fruits of His Spirit. Love is the first one listed, and it’s not there randomly.  Out of love flows joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control In other words, none of these qualities can be without love. You may ask yourself, how does this tie into the topic, intimacy of covenant. What I’m giving you is a foundation to incorporate into your definition and outlook of love. I used to have a list of qualities that I wanted in a woman. None of which included the fruits of God’s spirit.  Being equally yoked is also having and embracing the same definition of what love is and looks like in a godly relationship.  A reason relationships fail are because of contrasting thoughts and opinions of what love is.  It’s hard to come into a mutual agreement when you see different perspectives in a picture. And yes I agree that there’s beauty, intrigue and excitement in diversity and difference of opinion. However, when to comes to a  Christ-like union, there must be a common ground and a path bigger, but narrow enough for you to walk on with the love of your life. By bigger, I’m alluding to the ability to be unselfish and share your life with someone else.  By narrow, when two marry, they become one flesh.  You must be equally yoked in Christ to walk the narrow path of holiness and godliness in a persuasive and secular world. Light and darkness can’t occupy the same space.

I want you to understand something that’s very poignant here. The deeper your intimacy is with God, more depth and substance is added to how you love. The gifts of wisdom and understanding will help you love in an impactful way. I speak of the kind of loving that transforms and opens another’s eyes to see Christ in you. Your spouse should see more of Christ in you than you. The scales fell from Paul eyes represents a new life, a new vision, a new purpose and new love. Paul transitioned from a life of persecuting to a life of love. Believers in Christ couldn’t comprehend this drastic and sudden change. That is to say, we cannot fully comprehend the love, the thoughts and the ways of God. We should be transformed from our former life and former way of loving to Holy Spirit way of loving. This doesn’t mean we’re going to be perfect. It means we are to surrender, commit and be active in treating others the way God shows us grace and mercy towards us.

Many of you are praying for a sign of confirmation if you met the one. Look to see the fruits of God’s spirit is present within you and the person you’re investing time with.

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, marriage

Doing Love God’s Way Pt. II

I’m not the kind of man that would write a woman off if she’s of a different culture or race. Neither would I if she initially isn’t a believer in Christ. God has used both men and women to win their soon to be spouses over to him. Seeing this into fruition takes walking in the fruits of the Spirit that’s outlined in Galatians 5: 22. You would need the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Truly anything is possible with God and when you are walking in these fruits of God’s Holy Spirit. They saying goes, “age doesn’t matter.” Yes that’s true, but my response to that statement is maturity does. A person could be younger numerically, but have the emotional and spiritual maturity that it takes to be consistent, understanding, an effective communicator and having an authentic identity of the self. Couples with significant age gaps, that would make others on the outside snarl at them, work because God joined together. What I want to draw your attention to is being equally yoked.

2 Corinthians 6:14 has become more of a reality to me. It’s one thing to know something intellectually. It’s a different experience when something becomes revelation to you. It’s fulfilling and refreshing when the word of God is experienced. After being single for a while, I’ve evolved in a way of taking my relationship with Christ more seriously. God began speaking to me loudly years ago about having a more intimate relationship with him. This is still a journey I’m trying to master. Since then, I changed my entire approach to how I engage and court women, which is doing love God’s way. In the past, I haven’ t always been successful. However, in recent encounters, I’ve stood my ground with sex before marriage. I can honestly say now, the desire to have sex before marriage is less desirable. I’m not moved by physical attraction and women who throw their selves at me in an attempt to seduce me. In fact, it’s a turnoff. Seduction and sensuality is a turnoff when you’re walking in the spirit. I’ve actually asked God to take away my desire for sex until marriage. It’s meaningless to be intimate before becoming one when you understand why God says wait. There’s no need to create soul tie or any other unnecessary consequences that comes with disobedience when your body craves sex. It’s not worth it.
Being with someone you’re equally yoked with is not an option if you have committed your life to Christ. It simply isn’t going to work. Being equally yoked encompasses many things you may overlook on the surface when you read “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” When this scripture is read, readers assume it’s only talking about individuals who have rejected Christ. This scripture also applies to those who have “given” their life to Christ, but don’t live a godly life. They are certain things Christians don’t BELIEVE in the Bible. One of them is sex before marriage.

That’s not the only issue the scripture addresses about being equally yoked. When you have an intimate relationship with God and you spend time studying the word, you become transformed. Your mind is renewed. You’re thinking changes and your understanding deepens. How you think aligns to who Christ is and what his word says. This gives insight to how a person thinks, how the world is perceived around them and they treat one another. It also lends to how consistent and an effective communicator someone is, and they’re emotional and spiritual maturity, which I pointed out earlier. If you try to be in a relationship with someone who thinking isn’t on a scripture level, because they’re still living according to the ways of the world, more than likely, that relationship isn’t going to work. Not being open to a truth based on scripture that you haven’t come to experience and having a close mind, would soon create friction, arguments and drama between you and someone.This person has to come into their own maturity, knowledge and understanding of the word and revelation of who Christ is, which is nothing wrong. There are somethings I didn’t get until months or years later. I had to go through my process of maturity.
I choose to do love God’s way. It doesn’t matter how physically appealing and successful someone is, if they aren’t committed to God, and you are, you’re not going to be able to do love God’s way. If you say, how does the couple work who aren’t living their life according to scripture. Well, two uncommitted people have something in common. They aren’t committed. Doing love God’s with someone who’s in agreement with what the word of God says saves you the stress.

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships

How a Man of God Longs to Love a godly Woman

A man truly walking with God and in the love and compassion of Christ seeks something so much deeper and meaningful with you. His perception about love and a relationship isn’t found in the elementary discourse of lust. A one-night stand isn’t on the menu when he’s pursuing you. He turns his head away from women who present their self in a way to make a man stumble. Sensuality doesn’t have place in love. Seduction is bait for lust. Profanity doesn’t have a seat in conversation. Vanity is also a disservice. In vanity, there’s not enough room the share the stage of your life, because everything will be about you.  A man of God knows a self-absorbed person will suck the life out of you. Offering him the ways of the world instead of the mind of Christ isn’t going to work. He’s gazing behind your beauty to see if there’s a future with you. He’s browsing the landscape of your spirit to detect faithfulness or a lack thereof. The Hebrew translation of Proverbs 18:22 reads, “Who finds a wife find what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” There’s more in this statement than the obvious. What makes a wife “good” in the sight of God is that she’s obedient and has an intimate relationship with Him. She’s deeply in love and planted in God. She’s virtue and capable. She’s a rarity in the midst of popular worldly conformity. Her Christian life isn’t a religious or a secular one. She comes to add to a relationship—never plotting to divide or subtract from it. Although flawed, she tries to reflect the image and love of Christ. A woman of God is “good” because of what she brings to the relationship. She bares the anointing and favor of God. Therefore, her husband is blessed and receives what God has graced her with. Vice versa. I could go on, but I’ll place a bookmark here. A man of God knows “good” and “favor” isn’t package in seduction, immaturity, inconsistency, indecisiveness or mind games. A good wife is a holy, pure wife who has a made up mind. She knows what she wants. She is the “good thing” God refers to, and because of a man’s intimate relationship with God, he receives the favor to marry a woman as such.

Before I provide examples of how a man of God desires to love a godly woman, it’s important to point out a distinction here. What love and a relationship look like in Christ is different from the world’s definition and perception of it. This isn’t a judgmental statement. I don’t have the authority to condemn. Neither do I walk with a heart of judgment and condemnation. I aim to walk in the love, understanding and compassion of Christ; however, I have to speak the truth according to the Gospel. Whether it’s favorable or unfavorable. The truth in the word of God will offend and hit some sensitive spots in you. I know the feeling. After all, according to Hebrews 4:12, “the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” The word of God does many things. It encourages, guides and strengthens. It also rebukes and corrects. It will point out your wrongs and shortcomings so you can strengthen those areas you stumble in. Those who stand far and run away from reproach and correction never grow. They never take on the image of Christ.

Love in the context of Christianity is rooted in the fruits of the Spirit, which all are visibly seen in the person of Christ. What God sees as strength, the world interprets as weakness. It’s a sign of weakness for a man to express how he feels or to show emotion. If you can’t show emotion with the woman you’re with, you’re with a woman who doesn’t know God. Her mind and attitude is in the world and not in Christ. I don’t know what man could stand in the presence of God and can contain himself. We’re just not that strong enough. No human being is. In the world, a man has to be an “alpha male,” which is a dominate, aggressive, borderline cold throat person, a “manly man.” He also has to raise his voice or flex his muscle to show his wife who’s in charge. Sadly, some women embrace this false ideology of masculinity and strength. None of those qualities are found in Christ or describe who he is, so it baffles me when I hear Christians strive to fit the shoe that Christ never wore. The Son of God walked in love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance. The world says, step on to step up, compete with each other, and gossip to tear another down, lash out and fight back when wronged. Competition has it’s time and place, but not in a marriage. God says in Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still.” I know this is true for a fact. I saw God speak on my behalf and humble many people in my presence. Both men and women are to walk in all fruits of the spirit–no matter what the world or society says. Compare an alpha male or female to The Son of God, and tell me who’s stronger.

I am all for women having equaled rights and pay. I support women in leadership positions. I’m team Bernie Sanders all the way. When a woman wants to lead in a relationship, that presents a big problem. Women who embrace the “alpha female” concept have difficulty allowing a man being a man in her presence. She has a problem with being led. The word “submission” to her also has an unpleasant ring to it, because 1) they do not understand or haven’t fully embrace the ways of God.2. They forgot what was said Ephesians 5: 21 and they stop reading at verse 22. I’m not going to take up much time of your time in explaining this, however, here’s the full scripture and gist of what God is saying through it.

Ephesians 21-32 reads:

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

  1. Husband and wife must submit to Christ if they are to submit to each other.
  2. Since God made man the spiritual leader in the marriage (Genesis 2:7), the woman is to submit to him. There’s a reason why God created Adam first. Adam was created to first establish an intimate relationship Him before a woman. There are men doing it the other way around. They’re putting the desires of their heart before God. Women too. Notice how God established a relationship with Adam first before creating Eve. That’s why man is the head of the household. Not only that, God created Adam first because of the nature and responsibility of the environment he was to nurture and keep up. Hear me clearly. Eve was also created to have an intimate relationship. Part of her existence was to assist in Adam in what God entrusted him with.
  3. If a husband is not submitted to Christ, his wife will not submit to him.
  4. If the wife is not submitted to Christ, she will not submit to her husband.
  5. If the husband is not submitted to Christ, he will not submit to his wife.

The commonality and consistency in the scripture is structure and order. God established structure and order in the church through Christ and paralleled it to marriage. Christ is the groom. The church is the bride. The bride is submitted to the groom–similarly a wife to her husband. Submission is the theme here. Submitted to Christ, submitted to each other and a woman being led by a man in marriage.

As you can tell, there’s no hint of vanity, lust, competition, any glimpses of an “alpha male” or “alpha female”, obscenity, poor communication, inconsistency, unfaithfulness, gossip or any other trait that’s destructive to an individual and a marriage. In Christ, love is pure, holy and sacred. In Christ, husband and wife work together, side by side. In Christ, a man is to always to protect and treat his wife with great honor. He’s to honor her when he’s in and out of his presence. What love and a relationship resemble in the world is one without Christ.

In the next part of this blog, I plan to provide examples of how a man of God longs to love his wife who is in Christ. Thanks for reading.

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friendship, God's Will, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, Patience, poetry, Relationships

The Fruit of Her Spirit

A soothing balm against my skin, a spirit possessing the fragrance of frankincense, I know I’m in the company of a true worshipper

With the gentleness of a dove, filled with the holiness of God and the fear of the Lord that rests on you, I know you are my answered prayer

My honor for you is deep and rich in-depth. How could I speak to you with profanity or raise my voice in violent rage when I have a bride who’s in Christ?

How could I peer at another woman when I waited so long for you and moved through disappointment after disappointment after disappointment? If I were to fear anything, it would be losing you. You were presented to me by the love, favor, grace and mercy of our Father 

I found a good woman

 

It was no secret you knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you

You saw love in my smile. You heard it in my words. You felt it in my touch. You discerned it in my spirit. I was more than an open book to you. You saw the dirt I was created from, the kind of spirit God breathed in me and when I became a living thing

I didn’t have to question you. Your love for me was parallel. You were faithful and respectful. I still had your undivided attention when I wasn’t in your presence. 

You passed through the outer courts of my heart, entered the inner and took a seat into the deep

 God gave you the wisdom and the oxygen to walk on my moon.

 Wisdom gave you the right words to say and when to say it. The oxygen allowed you to breathe in a space where other women couldn’t. You knew I was peculiar. You knew you had to be patient? You knew you had to walk in the love of God. You knew I walked with God, so you gave me the time to spend with Him. I love you more for that

You deserve the best of my efforts in loving you.

You deserve a wedding ring not found on earth or  could be brought with money. You deserve something that cannot be put together with human hands.

What I desire to give you is in heaven. I have faith and the favor of God that He will bless me with a gem from one of His treasures

I bow to you on this day

I bow to longevity

I bow to grow old with you

I bow to be faithful to you

I bow for you and no one else

 

I vow to be by your side in the winter and spring.

I vow to love you until I’m no more

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Faith, God's Will, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships

Before You ask “Will You” and Before You say, “I do.”

I’ve never been engaged or married. Never came close. I learned a lot from one serious relationship, yet I was never the relationship kind of guy. You may think otherwise. My writing content may suggest so, but I write with the aim in mind to prevent others from making critical mistakes. I write with the aim in mind for you to seek the will of God before you ask, “will you?” and before you say, “I do.” I always saw relationshipsalso as a serious long-term commitment. In a way, I viewed relationships like marriage. I saw a lot at stake. Relationships are a physical, emotional and spiritual investment. Lives intersect, experiences are exchanged, bonds develop and souls knit together. You almost become one. And you know what getting physical (sex) does. It heightens every emotion you have for that person and cements a spiritual bond that’s going to be tough to break when the relationship doesn’t work out. When God says, wait until marriage, it’s for your good.

At this stage in my life, I see investing time in people or getting into a relationship more critical than ever. Conversing and socializing with people are intentional. They will have purpose. I don’t believe in wasting time or getting into a committed relationship because I can or when the feeling of loneliness surface. I don’t approach love with a “see where it goes” attitude. Maybe that’s appropriate when you’re younger. But even in my youth, I still didn’t approach love that way. I knew the severity of it. I was aware of the impact it could have on my life and vice versa. People take it really hard when a relationship doesn’t work out and rightfully so. High expectations and promises at stake.

I challenge you to seek the will of God with all your mind, heart, soul and spirit. Get alone with God and get in His face. Ask yourself, am I in the will of God and if this relationship or marriage is what God has for me? No one is perfect, but God’s will is. Ups and downs, agreements and disagreements are inevitable. That’s called being human. That’s called growth and learning one another, however, when God hand is something, He protects and preserves it. He helps you grow in place where you may fall apart. People fall apart in tough places, because the grace to sustain what’s fractured isn’t there. There’s grace in the will of God.

The person God has for you is there to enjoy life with. They are there to help you fulfill the will of God. They are in your life to grow in Christ together. If you are second-guessing any decision you made and you don’t feel peace in your heart, investigate why. God will not hold back an answer from you.

I pray God’s love and protection, His grace and mercy, to cover your life. It’s in Jesus name that I pray, amen!

 

 

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