Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

Intimacy of Covenant Pt. I

In the introduction, I touched on how love is often defined by emotion. For many people, how someone makes you feel is the premise for what love is and feels like. However, God is love and He is spirit. Love exists and began because of Him. And everything He created was out of love. Galatians 5:22 highlights the fruits of His Spirit. Love is the first one listed, and it’s not there randomly.  Out of love flows joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control In other words, none of these qualities can be without love. You may ask yourself, how does this tie into the topic, intimacy of covenant. What I’m giving you is a foundation to incorporate into your definition and outlook of love. I used to have a list of qualities that I wanted in a woman. None of which included the fruits of God’s spirit.  Being equally yoked is also having and embracing the same definition of what love is and looks like in a godly relationship.  A reason relationships fail are because of contrasting thoughts and opinions of what love is.  It’s hard to come into a mutual agreement when you see different perspectives in a picture. And yes I agree that there’s beauty, intrigue and excitement in diversity and difference of opinion. However, when to comes to a  Christ-like union, there must be a common ground and a path bigger, but narrow enough for you to walk on with the love of your life. By bigger, I’m alluding to the ability to be unselfish and share your life with someone else.  By narrow, when two marry, they become one flesh.  You must be equally yoked in Christ to walk the narrow path of holiness and godliness in a persuasive and secular world. Light and darkness can’t occupy the same space.

I want you to understand something that’s very poignant here. The deeper your intimacy is with God, more depth and substance is added to how you love. The gifts of wisdom and understanding will help you love in an impactful way. I speak of the kind of loving that transforms and opens another’s eyes to see Christ in you. Your spouse should see more of Christ in you than you. The scales fell from Paul eyes represents a new life, a new vision, a new purpose and new love. Paul transitioned from a life of persecuting to a life of love. Believers in Christ couldn’t comprehend this drastic and sudden change. That is to say, we cannot fully comprehend the love, the thoughts and the ways of God. We should be transformed from our former life and former way of loving to Holy Spirit way of loving. This doesn’t mean we’re going to be perfect. It means we are to surrender, commit and be active in treating others the way God shows us grace and mercy towards us.

Many of you are praying for a sign of confirmation if you met the one. Look to see the fruits of God’s spirit is present within you and the person you’re investing time with.

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, inspiration, love, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

Intimacy of Covenant, the Introduction

Love is often define within the limitation of emotion. It’s God who helps you understand that the emotions you feel from love are just an over flow of a spiritual connection you have with each other. I’m sure you come to experience and understand that emotions are sometimes misleading. They aren’t consistent, because people aren’t perfect. Your significant could do or say something that’s hurtful to you, or, they could be unfaithful to you. In that instance, the emotions that you associate love with, will ultimately vanish. What you called love would take the form of hate. Anger and betrayal can push to that point of no return.  And if cheating isn’t the cause, or an intense argument neglection is another element that could propel one to feel unloved. You must truly understand how God defines love in 1 Corinthians 13. When you mediate on these scriptures, you’ll begin to see that God is love, that He is kind and patient. His love nither bring dishonor or is it self-seeking. You will also see those qualities on display in the life of Jesus Christ. If emotions are what define love for you, I encourage you to look deeper and further than the surface.

The cliche “love is a choice” rings true, but what’s more profound is that God is love. The decision to surrender your love life to God will prove to be a wise one. A successful and godly relationship rests on Christ being at the center of it. In 1 Corinthians, love is defined. In 2 Corinthians 6:14,  the word of God tells who He wants us to experience love with and the nature of the relationship you should have with one another. 2 Corinthians 6:14. A man or woman who’s has given their life to Christ, surrendered their life to Christ and is in an intimate with him, is who God wants you to spend the rest of your life with. I will go in detail later what this kind of Christian looks like according to scripture and not Melvin Davis (me).  Being in a relationship or married to an individual in Christ is what makes two equally yoked.

Being eaually yoked isn’t a metaphor. The yoke of something is the core of something. The core holds everything together, so that which you have built may live and have life more abundantly. It’s the foundation that everything else rests on. “Yoke”equates to spirit. When you are intimate with someone, you become yoked.  It’s your spirit that joins two together. They are yoked by spirit through intimacy. Intimacy isn’t just within the parameter of sex. Intimacy is also experienced through conversation, investing quality time together, physical touch such as hugging, holding and kissing each other. It’s whatever you do  that allows one to enter your personal space such as your heart and your mind to earn your trust, love, affection and sacrifice.

In order to have a godly relationship, you must be in a committed relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  An issue some believers in Christ have is they desire a godly relationship or to court or be courted in a Christ-like way, but their lifestyle contradicts what they’re seeking, expecting and praying for. The desire maybe in you to want a lifestyle and a relationship that comes from God, however, because a part of your heart is in covenant with the world, you find yourself being drawn to a lifestyle and relationships that’s out of the will of God. When you are following the walk of the Holy Spirit that is in you, you’ll no longer have a taste or an attraction for what’s unholy. Godly men who are walking in a holy and intimate relationship with God, don’t have a desire or an attraction for women who speak with profanity, adorns herself in sensuality, seduction and vanity. Neither does a godly woman, walking in the same magnitude of holiness, have an affinity for men who easily overtake undgodly women by their fame, high status in life, material possessions or the appeal of their physical attraction. Feelings that stem from love is not the icing on the cake. Mistaking the icing for the foundation positions you to overlook how everything came together to make the cake stand with substance. You have to know the depth of someone to appreciate their surface. By surface, I’m speaking of feelings. You must have depth, i.e, an intimate relationship with God,  to build a godly intimate covenant with someone.  Love’s foundation and beginning is spiritual. God draws you together, confirms his will in your spirit and gives you peace about each other that surpasses your own understanding. Examples of that confoundity sound like, “where have you been all of my life,” or “I never knew you existed” or “ you are the definition of what haven’t experienced and what couldn’t articulate with words before I met you.” Feeling don’t complete the love and the relationship you have for each other. Emotions you feel from love are just an over flow of a spiritual connection you have with each other.

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, marriage

Doing Love God’s Way Pt. II

I’m not the kind of man that would write a woman off if she’s of a different culture or race. Neither would I if she initially isn’t a believer in Christ. God has used both men and women to win their soon to be spouses over to him. Seeing this into fruition takes walking in the fruits of the Spirit that’s outlined in Galatians 5: 22. You would need the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Truly anything is possible with God and when you are walking in these fruits of God’s Holy Spirit. They saying goes, “age doesn’t matter.” Yes that’s true, but my response to that statement is maturity does. A person could be younger numerically, but have the emotional and spiritual maturity that it takes to be consistent, understanding, an effective communicator and having an authentic identity of the self. Couples with significant age gaps, that would make others on the outside snarl at them, work because God joined together. What I want to draw your attention to is being equally yoked.

2 Corinthians 6:14 has become more of a reality to me. It’s one thing to know something intellectually. It’s a different experience when something becomes revelation to you. It’s fulfilling and refreshing when the word of God is experienced. After being single for a while, I’ve evolved in a way of taking my relationship with Christ more seriously. God began speaking to me loudly years ago about having a more intimate relationship with him. This is still a journey I’m trying to master. Since then, I changed my entire approach to how I engage and court women, which is doing love God’s way. In the past, I haven’ t always been successful. However, in recent encounters, I’ve stood my ground with sex before marriage. I can honestly say now, the desire to have sex before marriage is less desirable. I’m not moved by physical attraction and women who throw their selves at me in an attempt to seduce me. In fact, it’s a turnoff. Seduction and sensuality is a turnoff when you’re walking in the spirit. I’ve actually asked God to take away my desire for sex until marriage. It’s meaningless to be intimate before becoming one when you understand why God says wait. There’s no need to create soul tie or any other unnecessary consequences that comes with disobedience when your body craves sex. It’s not worth it.
Being with someone you’re equally yoked with is not an option if you have committed your life to Christ. It simply isn’t going to work. Being equally yoked encompasses many things you may overlook on the surface when you read “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” When this scripture is read, readers assume it’s only talking about individuals who have rejected Christ. This scripture also applies to those who have “given” their life to Christ, but don’t live a godly life. They are certain things Christians don’t BELIEVE in the Bible. One of them is sex before marriage.

That’s not the only issue the scripture addresses about being equally yoked. When you have an intimate relationship with God and you spend time studying the word, you become transformed. Your mind is renewed. You’re thinking changes and your understanding deepens. How you think aligns to who Christ is and what his word says. This gives insight to how a person thinks, how the world is perceived around them and they treat one another. It also lends to how consistent and an effective communicator someone is, and they’re emotional and spiritual maturity, which I pointed out earlier. If you try to be in a relationship with someone who thinking isn’t on a scripture level, because they’re still living according to the ways of the world, more than likely, that relationship isn’t going to work. Not being open to a truth based on scripture that you haven’t come to experience and having a close mind, would soon create friction, arguments and drama between you and someone.This person has to come into their own maturity, knowledge and understanding of the word and revelation of who Christ is, which is nothing wrong. There are somethings I didn’t get until months or years later. I had to go through my process of maturity.
I choose to do love God’s way. It doesn’t matter how physically appealing and successful someone is, if they aren’t committed to God, and you are, you’re not going to be able to do love God’s way. If you say, how does the couple work who aren’t living their life according to scripture. Well, two uncommitted people have something in common. They aren’t committed. Doing love God’s with someone who’s in agreement with what the word of God says saves you the stress.

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Faith, friendship, Honesty, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships

Doing Love God’s Way

My relationship with God is the most valuable thing in life. I’m here because of God’s love, grace and mercy. My relationship with God has led and continues to lead women away from me.  Disappointing at sometimes , yes, but am I hurt, no. No relationship out of the will of God is worth being in. Ever since 2014,  I commited my life to holiness, purity and righteousness. I committed to celibacy, stopped listening to music riddled with sensuality, sexuality/lust, songs that encourages arrogance,  self-centeredness , provokes loneliness, anger, fear, melancholy and that reminds you of what you once had. Soul tie music are stronghold music that prevents  you from moving on from the past. Some movies and people can have the same effect on you.

The narrow path of holiness, purity and righteousness was a decision I needed to make to answer and prepare for the call/purpose God invited me to. More importantly,  I accepted the invitation to the deep  intimacy and to walk with God. This path has been a fulfilling yet challenging one. Sometimes my humanity says to my spirit, is it worth. By faith, trust and love for God, my spirit says,  It is.

Much of my understanding about love, relationships and woman comes from the word of God and the wisdom He blesses me with. The more time you spend studying the scriptures and basking in God’s presence, the more wisdom, knowledge and revelation He will download into your spirit. Your discernment also increases. You’re just going to know and see certain things about people, environments and situations before they unfold. If not in the beginning, later on.

As you come to a place of maturity, you arrive to a point in life where you just want to enjoy the simple things with someone. Like consistency, simplicity, peace, and the first options are understanding, reconciliation and forgiveness. These are the gems to look forward to in a relationship. It’s a trend to be difficult, indifferent, dysfunctional and self-absorbing. And create problems or be evasive when you don’t have to. I can’t comprehend this. God brings the love into your life to love and not fight with. Then again, some people do only what they know. Things flow so much easier when there’s strong communication, trust and security in each other, which takes time to build. The ride is also smoother when you both come together with the same goal in mind, which is to become one. This also takes time.

 

 

 

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friendship, God's Will, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, Patience, poetry, Relationships

The Fruit of Her Spirit

A soothing balm against my skin, a spirit possessing the fragrance of frankincense, I know I’m in the company of a true worshipper

With the gentleness of a dove, filled with the holiness of God and the fear of the Lord that rests on you, I know you are my answered prayer

My honor for you is deep and rich in-depth. How could I speak to you with profanity or raise my voice in violent rage when I have a bride who’s in Christ?

How could I peer at another woman when I waited so long for you and moved through disappointment after disappointment after disappointment? If I were to fear anything, it would be losing you. You were presented to me by the love, favor, grace and mercy of our Father 

I found a good woman

 

It was no secret you knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you

You saw love in my smile. You heard it in my words. You felt it in my touch. You discerned it in my spirit. I was more than an open book to you. You saw the dirt I was created from, the kind of spirit God breathed in me and when I became a living thing

I didn’t have to question you. Your love for me was parallel. You were faithful and respectful. I still had your undivided attention when I wasn’t in your presence. 

You passed through the outer courts of my heart, entered the inner and took a seat into the deep

 God gave you the wisdom and the oxygen to walk on my moon.

 Wisdom gave you the right words to say and when to say it. The oxygen allowed you to breathe in a space where other women couldn’t. You knew I was peculiar. You knew you had to be patient? You knew you had to walk in the love of God. You knew I walked with God, so you gave me the time to spend with Him. I love you more for that

You deserve the best of my efforts in loving you.

You deserve a wedding ring not found on earth or  could be brought with money. You deserve something that cannot be put together with human hands.

What I desire to give you is in heaven. I have faith and the favor of God that He will bless me with a gem from one of His treasures

I bow to you on this day

I bow to longevity

I bow to grow old with you

I bow to be faithful to you

I bow for you and no one else

 

I vow to be by your side in the winter and spring.

I vow to love you until I’m no more

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Communication, Faith, friendship, Honesty, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships

Chosen to Love

Deep calls out to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. –Psalm 42:7

In this passage, King David is referring to intimacy with God. He’s not alluding to a religious/mundane like relationship with God.  Whereas, you set aside time with God, read your bible and pray because you feel obligated to. There’s nothing mechanical about love or intimacy. Love and Intimacy is natural. It’s also personal, revelatory and a deep spiritual experience. King David desired to go deep, because he was deep. He was deep because God made him that way. The installation of intimacy within king David was there before he was born. Deep intimacy was pursued given where King David was at in life. He recognized the need for intimacy with God and he knew there was a price to pay for it. We are also made to experience deep intimacy with God, but there’s a price for it. However, “many are called, but a few are chosen.” The chosen enters the secret place because they have a desire to.

The chosen are willing to pay the cost. Sleep, meals, social outing’s, changing your lifestyle and who you socialize with are some costs. Consecration is part of the equation of arriving to a deep place of intimacy with God. This means you have set yourself apart from the world. Separation from all unclean, unholy and impure things, lifestyles and people are necessary. The further you step into the presence of God, the holier you become, sin begins to lose its power and grip over you. And the scales begin to fall off your eyes. When the scales fall off your eyes, the clearer you’ll see who you are in Christ. Your self-worth is elevated then. In your previous days, you entertained anything that looked or sounded good. But now that you have matured in Christ, you’re not easily wooed or swept of your feet by beauty and ear pleasing words that connects with the experiences of your soul. You have arrived to a revelation that the love of your life has to be chosen by God for you.

Two truths about life: Substance is hard to find and beauty isn’t far away. You can find attractive people everywhere, but it’s rare to find substance in beauty. In person or on social media, vanity is all on an all-time high. Credit that to the popularity, power and platform of social media. Hundreds of pics stream through your timeline that serves the purpose of soliciting your attention. You start to wonder what else does the person have to offer besides another pic puckering lips, seductive eyes, revealing clothing and pretentious inspirational and “Godly messages and quotes” that essentially serves the purpose of finding an excuse to share another pic. Vanity isn’t of God and when you don’t love yourself or see who you are in Christ, you’ll continue to post pics for likes or attention, which means, you’re still seeking approval regardless if you are in a relationship, married or not.

As you take on the image and mind of Christ, the easier it is discern who’s a good fit for you. Speaking for myself, God is drawing me into a deep place of intimacy with Him. He’s revealing things to me in ways that would cause arguments and raise antennas of suspicion and skepticism about me. Equally yoked is what I’m getting at here–whether friend or more. There are only a handful of people who I can converse about the deeper things of God and an argument or a “why” question isn’t thrown out. There’s just a level of spiritual maturity and understanding that permits such conversation to flow. I now know my wife has to be chosen for me. The calling and ministry God has assigned me isn’t designed for any woman to understand or be a part of. Her mind must also be in Christ and so must her thirst and hunger after holiness and righteousness, thus, Jesus Christ. If a woman is in the world or is heavily influenced by it, we’re not going to be on the same page. If she has not desire to mature in Christ, we would constantly misunderstand each other.

God has chosen someone specifically for you. They are made for you. They are equipped with the love, patience, communication and prayer life to stand beside you and be a life partner. To single women, be patient for the man/husband God has for you. To single men, wait for the woman of God. God knows where you are in life. He knows what needs smoothing out in you before he releases her. He knows where you must be in Him before He releases her to you. To single woman, changing your ways and behavior maybe the cause of the delay. You must emulate the mind of Christ.

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Relationships, romance

Be truthful. Be forthright. Be honest.

 

I had a 2 hour a conversation with a married couple a few days ago. What I heard benefited me tremendously. Their testimony and experiences rejuvenated my hope and excitement in finding a faithful woman. Not just a faithful woman, but a God-fearing one. The wife said to me, “I rather be hurt by the truth than to be hurt by a lie. It’s more difficult to recover from a lie. People forgive, however lies are like tough stains that are hard to get out of the heart and memory. The husband and wife both confessed that they have had difficult times in their marriage, which is expected, but they never lied to each other. The husband said, “I always tell her the truth–even if it hurts her, but at least she knows I am being honest.” A woman respects when a man truthful. Vice versa. I want to point out a trend that’s not new, but more obvious in 2016. It makes finding love more challenging, as well as having meaningful friendships. It’s called “The Art of Passive Aggressiveness.” This isn’t new profound revelation, so I encourage you to dislodge you’re excitement. However, what I present to you is something I think you should be conscious of. Let’s get into it.

Matthew 5: 37 says, “But let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’, ‘no.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”

Matthew 5: 37 talks about being truthful and dishonest. When you tell the truth in love, you’re mirroring the image of Christ. When you lie, you emulate the nature of our adversary. Finding honesty in people is hard to come by in 2016. Rather than telling the truth, individuals opt to be passive aggressive or lie altogether. I understand the fear of hurting someone’s feeling lingers at the forefront of your mind. You know the impact it could have on the other person who’s deeply interested in you. However, hiding what you truly feel or just completely ignoring the person you welcomed them into your life, doesn’t do the entire situation much justice. It doesn’t help the other person either. You’re building momentum to the hurt the person in a greater way by prolonging what needs to be said now than later. It’s essential to keep in mind the concept of sowing and reaping. I’m speaking from experience.

When it comes to where you are emotionally, mentally or spiritually, be truthful. Be forthright. Be honest. If you recently exited a relationship, and you’re on the brink of entering another one without communicating where you stand, failure is the likely outcome. I suggest being single for a while. Breathe. Heal. Reflect. Learn. Grow. Going into new situation broken will create more brokenness. God wants you sit still, so He can deal without the other hurts in your life before he addresses the recent hurt of your breakup. God works strategically and in order.

Maybe the above doesn’t apply to you. Perhaps investing time with someone you’re not really interested in for the reason that you’re lonely, need attention, just killing time and banking on another relationship to heal you is call deception. Deception is to posture yourself in a way to hold another attention. It’s like conversing or interacting in a way to gives a false sense of hope. It’s okay to say, “I’m not interested. Or, “I don’t foresee anything pass a friendship.” It’s only right for the other party to know the truth. Putting yourself in a position of power to pick and choose when you want to be bothered, talk, text, or blatantly ignore the person altogether is impolite, rude and insensitive. Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself if you want to be recipient of this kind of behavior. God isn’t going to curse or strike you down for being honest about you how feel and where you stand.  Communicate the truth. Communicate the truth in love. The person maybe hurt when you tell them how you feel, but they will respect you. If they choose to leave of your life, at least you know they you aren’t keeping them around for any other reason. They will meet the person God has for them. So will you. It’s better to give the other party the option to make the best decision for their self and emotional well-being.

If you’re like me, God has you on hold. And while you’re in the waiting room, opportunities are going to come your way to date or entertain a love interest. I know this is frustrating. I’ve been single since 2008. That’s not to say that I haven’t dated since. I have, but God taught me a lesson about dating, which is, don’t date. You’re probably thinking, well, that doesn’t make sense. Doesn’t Proverbs 18:22 say, “He that finds a wife finds a good thing.”  This is absolutely true. True when God releases you to find or pursue. True when God says yes. True in the context of His timing. Here’s what God taught me about dating. Don’t date. When I pray about someone I’m interested in, the Holy Spirit reveals the Father’s will to me.  Jesus tells us in John 16:13, “But when he, the Holy Spirit comes, he will lead you and guide you into ALL truth.” I lie to you not. God answers my prayers in sometimes minutes, hours, a day or two. No longer than a month. Hearing “no” is disappointing. Really disappointing when YOU see potential, but think of the impact of the disappointment of going forth without seeking God’s will. When you’re in the waiting period, you can say, “This isn’t the season for me. God hasn’t permitted me get involved with anyone at this time.”  When a person completely objects to spiritual statement of truth, because it “doesn’t make sense,” or it  “sounds like BS,” you don’t have to pray. The person has either communicated they aren’t born of the Spirit of God through Christ or they lack spiritual maturity. You would be unequally yoked on both accounts if you choose to go forward. Embracing anything that’s not the will of God comes with unnecessary heartache, drama, confusion and pain. I’ve been there before too.

Get into the habit of being honest. Having courtesy for another feelings goes along way. It’s called communication.  Honest communication. I know it’s more convenient to hide what you’re truly feeling and thinking or to simply ignore someone. I’m guilty of this, but I changed when the Holy Spirit convicted me and I reaped what I sow. Folks may think you’re being “mean” for being honest, forthright and truthful. We live in “I don’t want to offend you” aka Passive Aggressiveness times. The scripture doesn’t teach us to be passive or lukewarm. The word of God teaches us to let your “yes, be yes. Your no, be no.”

There will come a time when the tables are turned. Where you are the one head over heels and the other person is the puppet master. Having your emotional and mental strings pulled by someone isn’t a good feeling. Be truthful. Be forthright. Be honest.

 

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