love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships

What a Man Walking with God Longs For: A Peculiar Woman Pt. I #Proverbs31

For a man walking with God to find a holy and righteous woman in a committed relationship with Christ, the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit is needed. Walking with God and in self-control is also pertinent in avoiding deception. Fellowship with the Trinity, reading the Word of God and prayer is where discernment comes from. You don’t want to be misled or seduced by a woman who claims to have given their heart to Christ. You could tell if she truly has a relationship with Christ by the fruit she bears. Many popular/mega Christian Churches are secular, because their leaders who are pastoring them are. This happens when the leader isn’t living a holy and righteous life. The focus in ministry today is about who has the largest church. Large churches are built by the comfortable messages preached. Simply put, they’re afraid to teach the Gospel out of fear of offending people, which may translate to losing members. People have unfollowed me from sharing the truth. I’m fine with that. As long as they read the truth, they’re responsible for what they now know. This is a time to mature. Ministry today has less to do with signs, wonders, miracles and true spiritual transformation that could only happen by the presence of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, when you have secularism filtering into the church and a fraction of the truth taught, a body of secular Christians are produced. Consequently, you have Christians living secular lives, because their leaders aren’t encouraging them to live a holy and righteous life.

In the introduction of this blog, I explained how my preference in a Christian woman has changed. I credit my commitment to living a holy and righteous life. In addition, answering the call to deeper intimacy in Christ. I can’t see myself with a Christian woman modeling herself after the world and the secular entertainers she’s influenced by or content with not growing spiritually. God revealed to me you could still be unequally yoked with another Christian. You’re probably asking yourself, how is that possible. The answer lies Christians who to adapt the ways of world vs., the ones truly walking out their life in Christ.  Yes, you are in the world, but Christ teaches us to not conform to it. (John 17:16)

Before I move on to type of Christian woman walking with God looks like according to the word of God, and not the thoughts of Melvin Davis, I want make a brief point to women:

You have and will continue to come across Christian men who haven’t truly committed their life to Christ. They’re going to tempt you have sex, object to celibacy before marriage or approve moving in together when you aren’t married. To men, some Christian women may have the same influence on you as well. Marrying for the sake of making it “right” to have sex is still fornication. Lust was the motive to create a sacred union. It wasn’t God that brought you together in unity to become one flesh (Matthew 19:5). I urge both men and women to live their life in Christ, to pursue holiness and righteousness and to not be afraid of standing out. God called you apart. You were never meant to fit it.

This is the kind of Christian woman a man walking with God is praying for.

  1. A woman who’s Set Apart. A priest.

You must be holy because I, the LORD, am holy. I have set you apart from all other people to be my very own. -Leviticus 20:26

But you are the chosen race, the Kings priests, the holy nation, God’s own people, chosen to proclaim the wonderful acts of God, who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9

A priestly woman is set apart. She’s a woman living her life in Christ without one foot in the world. When you’re walking with God, you’re distinguishable, different, and peculiar. Some people may go on to describe you as “intriguing,” “different,” or  “unique.” A Christian believer may say, “You really are walking the walk.” It’s possible to be unequally yoked with another Christian.

There are some Christians who just refuse to fully surrender their life to Christ. It’s uncomfortable for them. They care about what others may think if they choose a life of holiness and righteousness. They’re afraid of not being able to have fun or being lonely. It saddens me they have listened to the lies of the adversary, the desire of their flesh and other Christians who have been taught the word of God incorrectly. As a result, they still do, watch and listen to what the world listens to you. 2 Timothy says, the NLT, “They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly.”

A priest is compatible with a priest. In other words, two people pursuing holiness and righteousness are compatible with each other.  When two people aren’t, lifestyles and ways of thinking will clash. Arguments would  also occur as well as many moments of spending less time together. The individual fully surrender to Christ will desire like-minded company. The person who’s in the world will cling to similar company.

2. A woman of God who doesn’t fashion herself after the world.

The world comes up with a variety of terms and mantras to give women a sense of self-empowerment. I wonder why does a Christian woman need to be validated by the world when Christ knew you and set you apart before you were born (Jeremiah 1:5). Embracing secular terms don’t align with who Christ such as “Diva,” “bossgirl/bosslady” and “alpha female” are unbiblical. Acting “hood” is unbiblical too. Men also embrace these secular tags and model their behavior after them. Jesus, the Son of God, wasn’t and isn’t an alpha male, nor did he liken himself to one, yet He’s The King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I strongly suggest women look up the word diva to find out the origins of it.

A woman who’s walking with God models herself after the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), which can be seen when you study the life of Christ in scripture. When you see Christ, you see the Holy Spirit. The book of Proverbs is a direct correlation of the wisdom of God on display through the life of Solomon (Isaiah 11:2 and Proverbs 1). Proverbs 31 is a direct correlation and representation of how Christ sees fit, of how His daughter, soon to be bride, and already bride, should carry herself. A woman who walks with God is confident, strong and humble. She’s a woman of faith and prayer, patience, love and joy, and more. She is the bride that Jesus sees.

3. A woman you can fellowship with.

I chose not to use the word “friendship” for a reason. There are two kinds of friendships: Christ-like and secular. As a believer, we have to balance the two. I say balance because we are called to share the Gospel of Christ with those who are living in the world and to strengthen other believers who have one foot in the world or are still maturing in their faith.

By fellowship, I’m speaking of a Christian woman you could enjoy being around. You could also have Bible study and pray together. You could really dig deeper into the deeper things of God, and not leave the conversation feeling you shouldn’t have discussed a particular topic. I’ve been there. Awkward feeling.

Conversation, chemistry, discussions and socializing runs much smoother when you’re engaging a woman who’s on the same walk in Christ as you are. It would be amazing to meet a woman who has the same spiritual goals as you do. I came across a prophet recently that the Holy Spirit led me to on Youtube. God reveals things both he and his wife at the same time. I thought to myself, how wonderful that is to experience things in the spiritual realm at the same time.

Fellowship in a relationship is important. It’s a sign of compatibility, and the two of you are on a track to grow spiritually.

  1. A woman of Humility

Vanity isn’t hard to find. In social media you’ll find vain, haughty, arrogant, conceit, sensuality and sexuality oozing from the images of women. Some women are constantly throwing themselves into social media to solicit attention, validation and self-worth. Even married ones. Men who give into these forms of seduction and desperate attempts of attention and validation are also walking in the lust of their flesh. They are looking to satisfy the lustful desire in the way these women are. Lust and holiness do not agree with each other.

A woman who possesses the spirit of humility doesn’t need throw herself at men. She’s confident enough in the timing of Christ to be sought (Proverbs 18:21.) Both men and women, who rely on their bodies to find love, haven’t discovered their identity in Christ. The Fruits of the Holy Spirit in you is as just attractive of the physique or beauty God has given you. However, when you rely solely on good looks, you will reap what you’re sowing. You may find an attractive or successful man by the way your present yourself, but that doesn’t guarantee you’ll land a committed and faithful husband who’s sold out to Christ. That goes for men too. “Arm candy or a “trophy” wife comes with a price. More than likely, it’s going to cost you $$$$.

Many Christians do drift away from the word of God. When this happens, they conform back to their old ways. Humility is who Christ is. He’s the perfect example and definition of humility. Look at him, then look at you.

5. A man who walks with God looks for a godly mother in a godly wife.

I pay close attention to how a woman talks and carries herself. It gives me insight to the kind of mother she would be. The vision that I have for my family is a Christ-centered one. With the help of my wife, I envision reading and teaching my children from the book of Proverbs. With my daughter, I would teach her about a virtuous woman, and the kind of woman she should avoid becoming and socializing with. I imagine teaching my son by about Adam and his rightful place in the Garden of Eden before the fall. I would transition out of the OT scriptures into the NT, and show them God’s remarkable plan of redemption through Jesus Christ. Christ will be there ultimate primary focus on conducting their self in a secular world. This is shortlist of how I want to raise my family with my wife. When it comes certain things I look for a woman, one certainly is a mother.

When I hear profanity leave a woman’s mouth, see herself posting seductive pictures and behaving haughty, I wonder how she’s like as mother. Children are like clay. They take on the shape of what they see, hear and what they are taught. If the mother has a nasty and sassy attitude, more than likely, the child would have one too. If the mother is living her life in Christ, more than likely, her children would too. I’m not speaking or a religious mother but one who has a relationship with Christ.

Men who are walking in the spirit aren’t moved the beauty of women. They see beyond the surface and into the spirit. Some women complain about not finding a good man or someone lost out on them. Perhaps your lack of commitment to Christ is the reason why the relationship didn’t work out or why the guy passed you up. God may have prevented a disastrous relationship and heartbreak. I wouldn’t pursue a woman who has no desire to give her life to Christ or grow in Him. Christ said, you don’t pour new wine into old wineskins. If so, the old wineskin would break (Matthew 9:17). In other words, praying for a godly husband when you aren’t living a holy, righteous and committed relationship with Christ isn’t going to work. You would be unequally yoked.

It’s my prayer that you seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness; so all the other things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33). God has great things in store for you, but you will only possess them with a transformed and renewed mind that comes by the reading of the word. Say goodbye to the past and what didn’t work out. Jesus loves you so much to allow you live below His will. Connect to Christ and fully surrender to Him. Get in the word so it can cleanse your spirit and transform your mind.

 

Note: The photos of women featured in my blogs are in no way a representation of a Christian or Proverbs 31 woman. I choose them because they’re elegant.

 

 

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Faith, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Relationships

What a Man Walking with God Longs For: A Peculiar Woman #Proverbs31

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Apostle Paul
My attempt to describe the love God has for us would fall short. God’s love is far beyond human comprehension. His love is sublime. It’s perfect without defect. His love is revelatory, which means, there are so many facets about God that we’ll never know. God is the definition of depth. He’s deep. He cannot be measured. That’s to say, His love is immeasurable. However, we can attest to the love of God on three basic levels. 1. We know God displayed His love when he sent His Son Jesus into the world to remove sin and it’s power over us. 2. We know the love of God through the free gift salvation (John 3:16). 3. We also know the love of God by what He Sent Jesus through. On the way to the cross, God allowed His Son to experience every horrible feeling that we encounter in life. From betrayal, abandonment, being mocked and talked about, enduring physical pain and humiliation, and separation from his Father. Jesus overcame it all. The love of God carried him through. You’re not going to find to many people who are willing to sacrifice their life for you. God sent his Groom, Jesus, to get dirty so that His bride, the Church, could be clean. That’s love. Unimaginable love. Sacrificial love. Perfect love. Imagine a man loving his wife this way. A man of God who’s willing to lay down his life without question is powerful. A man of God who’s willing to help you dig up and remove the remaining debris from your life that hinders you is a man who loves you. A man who’s patient and prays over all your imperfections is a man who loves you. He doesn’t mind getting dirty, so He can see the bride he married, clean.

I’m confident enough to say that men who seek after the deeper things of God have the ability to love a woman of God in extraordinary ways. This kind of love would sure frighten a woman who isn’t ready to be loved in the way that Christ loved the church. I met women who weren’t ready. I’ve learned you can’t give something special to someone who isn’t mature enough to handle or comprehend what you have to offer. A godly relationship/marriage takes humility, emotional and spiritual maturity to sustain. It also takes the power of prayer and consecration. You need the wisdom and knowledge of God to grow and protect the blessings He gives you.

God knows every detailed structure and contour of a woman’s soul, spiritual and emotional anatomy. He knows how much time she does and doesn’t spend time with him. He knows the surface and depth of her understanding of Him. He knows her fears, insecurities and strengths. He knows the hidden things in her heart. He knows every single traumatic experience. He also knows her high points in life. He knows her success and victorious moments. Having this knowledge about her on hand enhances fellowship with her. This is not to say that women aren’t knowledgeable about God and the word. She’s there to also strengthen your walk with Christ too. My point is when two or three are gathered in Jesus name, He’s present (Matthew 18: 20). Christ should be present from the point you meet your wife, until the very moment you marry her. And Christ is still there when you have disagreements. Studying the word of God with her, fasting and praying together, is to love her the way Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:23). Dying daily to your shortcomings is loving her like Christ loved the church. Spending quality time with her is too. Jesus invested a great deal of time with his disciples. He taught them how to pray, truths and secrets about the Kingdom of God they would later understand. He also imparted knowledge, wisdom and other spiritual gifts into their lives. He built up their faith and equipped them with tools to continue the work of the gospel. To love your wife the way Christ loved the church to spend time with the Father. You’re probably asking yourself what do I mean? How does spending time with the Father relates to loving your wife that Christ loved the Church. Pull up John 5:19. Jesus said three things.

“I can do nothing on my own.”
“I only do what I see my Father doing.”
“Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.”
First, Jesus acknowledges dependency on His Father. Jesus needed the strength of the Father to do His will. Second, Jesus only does what He can visibly/tangibly see His Father doing. The healing and miracles you read in the scriptures, God the Father showed him how to do it. Three, Jesus intimacy with the Father granted Him the same power and authority. Now here’s the connection. For a man to love His wife in an extraordinary way, He must realize he can’t love her solely on his own experience. Besides, each woman isn’t the same. He must depend on Jesus to love with care and wisdom. Two, a husband must be able to see what Jesus is doing in their individuals lives and in the marriage. If he takes his eyes of Christ, he takes his eyes of his wife. He will not be in tuned or recognize the source of problems that will arise and the important decisions they need to make as one in the marriage. He must keep God first. Last, when a husband has an intimate relationship with God, He’s given a measure of power and authority to lead in the relationship/marriage. He will be able to do the greater works Jesus talks about in John 14:12. The greater works are the healing and miracles. Imagine the wife or husband being diagnosed with some illness, and either could heal each other. You see all types of “relationship goal” captions in social media, as it relates to fitness, business or financial success. I’m not against health and wealth. However, incorporate some spiritual principles into your marriage. Having the power the power to heal, perform miracles and cast out unclean spirit is a power couple!

A man walking with God wants to love you the way Christ loved the church. He wants to love you to the point of drawing tears of joy. If you experienced the presence of God while simply waiting on Him in stillness and silence, I’m sure you found yourself in tears of joy. The love in God’s presence is just that powerful. Just the thought of God’s love and goodness, His grace and mercy alone, could leave you worshipping Him in silence and prostrate with tears of joy. Silence and stillness positions you to experience God in this way (Psalm 46:10). You are worshipping in Spirit and in Truth here. If you could connect to God this way, you could connect to a woman similarly. I’m not speaking of worshipping her. That’s absolutely forbidden. Your presence alone, while you’re sitting in stillness and silence with her, could bring tears of joy to her eyes. It’s not you. It’s He, the Holy Spirit in you, altering the atmosphere while you’re with her. He’s ushering the both of you into the presence of God. That’s fellowship. Later on, I will distinguish the difference between fellowship and a friendship. You should experience both with the love of your life.

The next part of this blog will be up soon.

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Communication, Faith, friendship, Honesty, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships

Chosen to Love

Deep calls out to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. –Psalm 42:7

In this passage, King David is referring to intimacy with God. He’s not alluding to a religious/mundane like relationship with God.  Whereas, you set aside time with God, read your bible and pray because you feel obligated to. There’s nothing mechanical about love or intimacy. Love and Intimacy is natural. It’s also personal, revelatory and a deep spiritual experience. King David desired to go deep, because he was deep. He was deep because God made him that way. The installation of intimacy within king David was there before he was born. Deep intimacy was pursued given where King David was at in life. He recognized the need for intimacy with God and he knew there was a price to pay for it. We are also made to experience deep intimacy with God, but there’s a price for it. However, “many are called, but a few are chosen.” The chosen enters the secret place because they have a desire to.

The chosen are willing to pay the cost. Sleep, meals, social outing’s, changing your lifestyle and who you socialize with are some costs. Consecration is part of the equation of arriving to a deep place of intimacy with God. This means you have set yourself apart from the world. Separation from all unclean, unholy and impure things, lifestyles and people are necessary. The further you step into the presence of God, the holier you become, sin begins to lose its power and grip over you. And the scales begin to fall off your eyes. When the scales fall off your eyes, the clearer you’ll see who you are in Christ. Your self-worth is elevated then. In your previous days, you entertained anything that looked or sounded good. But now that you have matured in Christ, you’re not easily wooed or swept of your feet by beauty and ear pleasing words that connects with the experiences of your soul. You have arrived to a revelation that the love of your life has to be chosen by God for you.

Two truths about life: Substance is hard to find and beauty isn’t far away. You can find attractive people everywhere, but it’s rare to find substance in beauty. In person or on social media, vanity is all on an all-time high. Credit that to the popularity, power and platform of social media. Hundreds of pics stream through your timeline that serves the purpose of soliciting your attention. You start to wonder what else does the person have to offer besides another pic puckering lips, seductive eyes, revealing clothing and pretentious inspirational and “Godly messages and quotes” that essentially serves the purpose of finding an excuse to share another pic. Vanity isn’t of God and when you don’t love yourself or see who you are in Christ, you’ll continue to post pics for likes or attention, which means, you’re still seeking approval regardless if you are in a relationship, married or not.

As you take on the image and mind of Christ, the easier it is discern who’s a good fit for you. Speaking for myself, God is drawing me into a deep place of intimacy with Him. He’s revealing things to me in ways that would cause arguments and raise antennas of suspicion and skepticism about me. Equally yoked is what I’m getting at here–whether friend or more. There are only a handful of people who I can converse about the deeper things of God and an argument or a “why” question isn’t thrown out. There’s just a level of spiritual maturity and understanding that permits such conversation to flow. I now know my wife has to be chosen for me. The calling and ministry God has assigned me isn’t designed for any woman to understand or be a part of. Her mind must also be in Christ and so must her thirst and hunger after holiness and righteousness, thus, Jesus Christ. If a woman is in the world or is heavily influenced by it, we’re not going to be on the same page. If she has not desire to mature in Christ, we would constantly misunderstand each other.

God has chosen someone specifically for you. They are made for you. They are equipped with the love, patience, communication and prayer life to stand beside you and be a life partner. To single women, be patient for the man/husband God has for you. To single men, wait for the woman of God. God knows where you are in life. He knows what needs smoothing out in you before he releases her. He knows where you must be in Him before He releases her to you. To single woman, changing your ways and behavior maybe the cause of the delay. You must emulate the mind of Christ.

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, Honesty, How to Find Love, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, poetry, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

She is My Proverbs 31

I kneel and kiss your hand because you are a virtuous woman

In your presence, the curtains of my life pull back for you to see all:

 You find faithfulness, respect, the ability and desire to love unconditionally

Because of what you saw, you took center on my heart with security

I sit and watch you do what you do with perfection

As you dance swiftly with grace, the power of your footprints compels me join you

Eye meets eye, you smile, I smile, chemistry sizzles and God, the conductor standing in between us, approves of this symphony that moves our souls

Hand against hand, the movement from my lips as I confessed, “you are my Proverbs 31”—tickle you but comfort sits in

 “May I have the honor?”

“Yes,” God replied.

I took out a ring and kneeled before my virtuous woman

“Will you?”

“Yes,” she answered before I could ask the question

Our eyes filled with tears of joy because God ordained this moment and gave us unspeakable peace to transition into a lifelong commitment

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Communication, Faith, friendship, Honesty, How to Find Love, love, Relationships

God’s Confirmation vs An Emotional High Pt.III

Two prayers I came to mind for you. One is for patience. The second is discernment. This idea literally came to mind. I thank God for His guidance in writing this blog.

I come to realize there’s a lack of patience with others. You know the saying–no one is perfect. Neither are you, therefore, practice patience with one another. Release your finger from the trigger of writing someone off. Breathe a little. Everyone has some type of character fault. I do. However, if you aren’t conscious of what you’re doing and someone points it out, and you’re sold on not doing anything about it, that’s an issue. Maybe God has to do a work within you before He releases you to love. But if you’re with someone who knows what their shortcomings are, and you see effort to change by the reading of the Word, prayer and fasting, practice patience. Ultimately, in all things, be led by God.

A prayer for patience:

Jesus, I love you. I want to become more like you. You are the perfect model and High Priest

Teach me your ways Lord. Change the things about me that makes loving me difficult and hard. Stir the fruit of patience inside of me.

Allow your love to rule in my soul, spirit, mind and heart. Renew my mind. Give me understanding of who you are, that I may become more who you are.

Help me to be patient with others. Help me to walk in purity, holiness, righteousness and love. It’s your name Jesus that I pray, amen!

Discernment is given to every believer who has the Holy Spirit living inside of him or her.

A prayer for discernment:

Father, increase my discernment. Help me to stay in tuned to your

Holy Spirit. Stir me in a way that I’ll stop to listen and wait to see to what you’re trying to reveal to me.

It’s in Jesus name that I pray, amen.

Red flags are always flaring, but you wouldn’t be able to see them if you’re sinking in your emotions. Emotions aren’t your enemy. Emotions are a gift from God. Whether good or bad, what you feel is the confirmation of something you need to know in the natural. They just have to be invested into someone or a relationship that’s in the will of God. That being said, when it comes to your love life, God confirms His will in two ways.

Confirmation in the natural

  1. Incompatible lifestyles

According to 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

Paul clearly points out why believers and unbelievers don’t work in a relationship. That includes a friendship too. Light and darkness can’t coexist. Believers in Christ often began relationships with someone of a different faith. This happens when the believer views Christ as a religious figure and Christianity as a religion. Christ is real person and Christianity is about having a relationship with Him. Entering a relationship with a believer who’s committed to being lukewarm can be troublesome too. As in, they have one foot softly planted in Christ and the other firmly stapled in the world.

Incompatibility leads to arguments and debates. Those arguments stem from contrary beliefs and understandings of the scripture. When you aren’t compatible, you will argue about the movies & TV shows you watch, music you listen to, books you read, places you go, what’s appropriate to wear and what you believe about the word of God. Christ wants us to live a life of purity, holiness and righteousness. Any opposite isn’t of God.  You must be careful of what and who you allow to speak into your spirit.

2.  Without respect, there’s no l-o-v-e.

When I speak with men about their relationship problems, I listen carefully to their concerns and all that’s taking place. As soon as I hear, “man, she curses at me, doesn’t answer my phone calls or texts. Or, she talking down to me or hanging out with another guy and refuses to tell me who’s she with.  I say yep, the respect is gone. When I talk to women about their relationship issues, it’s pretty much the same. The respect is totally out the door. Think about it for a second, would God send someone in your life that doesn’t respect you? I’m sorry, that’s not love. Exit left. Follow that arrow that points you back into the will of God.

3.     Rude, negative and pessimistic behavior is a mood, attraction and potential love killer. Underneath these toxic characteristics are deep emotional wounds. Healing is imperative before entering a relationship. When pain comes a part of who you are, it’s difficult for the light of Christ to shine through your personality. Instead of a loving, easy-going, confident, sure and stable person, you would exude an angry, frustrated, insecure, bitter and defensive.

4.  A Busybody is an unsettled spirit.

I may have an unpopular view on dating. I’m okay with that. I actually don’t believe in dating.  Neither am I sold on the tag of dating or serial dating. It’s unwise to go forth with someone without seeking God about it. If I’m really into a woman, I simply pray about her. Often times, I don’t have to. Given everything that I mention above, you’ll see why. People find themselves recovering from great disappointment and unpleasant breakups because they didn’t seek God’s confirmation. They became too caught up in their emotions and attached to what they feel and interpreted it as God’s confirmation. I’ve been there quite a few times.

It’s okay to develop a friendship and hang out as friend. It releases the pressure to perform. Praying before you push the pedal to the floor and swerving into all types of lanes is wise too. Lanes that lead into premature life planning and performing duties and making sacrifices that are reserved for a sacred, God ordained marriage. This is what I prayed the prayer of discernment for you. You too can have a direct line of communication with the Holy Spirit about your love life. You just have to be patient. Discontinue running fast into relationships for the sake that you can or you’re bored. Wait on the Lord and He will reveal His will.

5. I actually like you as a person.

Imagine having an argument with someone or a deep disagreement from the onset. The entire mood just got zipped up into a body bag. Yellow tape is everywhere and both of you are now taking a step back to examine the crime scene like CSI. What happened? Chemistry.

Chemistry is one element God uses to confirm His will in the natural. Yes, you will have disagreements with the love your life, but that doesn’t delete the history and the chemistry you have with each other. A strong friendship is a sign of that chemistry. Great, stimulating conversation too. The fact that you actually get along, like each other and always have something to talk about is a result of chemistry.

Part V is on the way. I’m trucking in the direction of confirmation in the spirit. Yes, God is spirit. We are made in His likeness, which means, yep, we’re spirit too

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Be truthful. Be forthright. Be honest.

 

I had a 2 hour a conversation with a married couple a few days ago. What I heard benefited me tremendously. Their testimony and experiences rejuvenated my hope and excitement in finding a faithful woman. Not just a faithful woman, but a God-fearing one. The wife said to me, “I rather be hurt by the truth than to be hurt by a lie. It’s more difficult to recover from a lie. People forgive, however lies are like tough stains that are hard to get out of the heart and memory. The husband and wife both confessed that they have had difficult times in their marriage, which is expected, but they never lied to each other. The husband said, “I always tell her the truth–even if it hurts her, but at least she knows I am being honest.” A woman respects when a man truthful. Vice versa. I want to point out a trend that’s not new, but more obvious in 2016. It makes finding love more challenging, as well as having meaningful friendships. It’s called “The Art of Passive Aggressiveness.” This isn’t new profound revelation, so I encourage you to dislodge you’re excitement. However, what I present to you is something I think you should be conscious of. Let’s get into it.

Matthew 5: 37 says, “But let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’, ‘no.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”

Matthew 5: 37 talks about being truthful and dishonest. When you tell the truth in love, you’re mirroring the image of Christ. When you lie, you emulate the nature of our adversary. Finding honesty in people is hard to come by in 2016. Rather than telling the truth, individuals opt to be passive aggressive or lie altogether. I understand the fear of hurting someone’s feeling lingers at the forefront of your mind. You know the impact it could have on the other person who’s deeply interested in you. However, hiding what you truly feel or just completely ignoring the person you welcomed them into your life, doesn’t do the entire situation much justice. It doesn’t help the other person either. You’re building momentum to the hurt the person in a greater way by prolonging what needs to be said now than later. It’s essential to keep in mind the concept of sowing and reaping. I’m speaking from experience.

When it comes to where you are emotionally, mentally or spiritually, be truthful. Be forthright. Be honest. If you recently exited a relationship, and you’re on the brink of entering another one without communicating where you stand, failure is the likely outcome. I suggest being single for a while. Breathe. Heal. Reflect. Learn. Grow. Going into new situation broken will create more brokenness. God wants you sit still, so He can deal without the other hurts in your life before he addresses the recent hurt of your breakup. God works strategically and in order.

Maybe the above doesn’t apply to you. Perhaps investing time with someone you’re not really interested in for the reason that you’re lonely, need attention, just killing time and banking on another relationship to heal you is call deception. Deception is to posture yourself in a way to hold another attention. It’s like conversing or interacting in a way to gives a false sense of hope. It’s okay to say, “I’m not interested. Or, “I don’t foresee anything pass a friendship.” It’s only right for the other party to know the truth. Putting yourself in a position of power to pick and choose when you want to be bothered, talk, text, or blatantly ignore the person altogether is impolite, rude and insensitive. Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself if you want to be recipient of this kind of behavior. God isn’t going to curse or strike you down for being honest about you how feel and where you stand.  Communicate the truth. Communicate the truth in love. The person maybe hurt when you tell them how you feel, but they will respect you. If they choose to leave of your life, at least you know they you aren’t keeping them around for any other reason. They will meet the person God has for them. So will you. It’s better to give the other party the option to make the best decision for their self and emotional well-being.

If you’re like me, God has you on hold. And while you’re in the waiting room, opportunities are going to come your way to date or entertain a love interest. I know this is frustrating. I’ve been single since 2008. That’s not to say that I haven’t dated since. I have, but God taught me a lesson about dating, which is, don’t date. You’re probably thinking, well, that doesn’t make sense. Doesn’t Proverbs 18:22 say, “He that finds a wife finds a good thing.”  This is absolutely true. True when God releases you to find or pursue. True when God says yes. True in the context of His timing. Here’s what God taught me about dating. Don’t date. When I pray about someone I’m interested in, the Holy Spirit reveals the Father’s will to me.  Jesus tells us in John 16:13, “But when he, the Holy Spirit comes, he will lead you and guide you into ALL truth.” I lie to you not. God answers my prayers in sometimes minutes, hours, a day or two. No longer than a month. Hearing “no” is disappointing. Really disappointing when YOU see potential, but think of the impact of the disappointment of going forth without seeking God’s will. When you’re in the waiting period, you can say, “This isn’t the season for me. God hasn’t permitted me get involved with anyone at this time.”  When a person completely objects to spiritual statement of truth, because it “doesn’t make sense,” or it  “sounds like BS,” you don’t have to pray. The person has either communicated they aren’t born of the Spirit of God through Christ or they lack spiritual maturity. You would be unequally yoked on both accounts if you choose to go forward. Embracing anything that’s not the will of God comes with unnecessary heartache, drama, confusion and pain. I’ve been there before too.

Get into the habit of being honest. Having courtesy for another feelings goes along way. It’s called communication.  Honest communication. I know it’s more convenient to hide what you’re truly feeling and thinking or to simply ignore someone. I’m guilty of this, but I changed when the Holy Spirit convicted me and I reaped what I sow. Folks may think you’re being “mean” for being honest, forthright and truthful. We live in “I don’t want to offend you” aka Passive Aggressiveness times. The scripture doesn’t teach us to be passive or lukewarm. The word of God teaches us to let your “yes, be yes. Your no, be no.”

There will come a time when the tables are turned. Where you are the one head over heels and the other person is the puppet master. Having your emotional and mental strings pulled by someone isn’t a good feeling. Be truthful. Be forthright. Be honest.

 

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Before I get into the message, I want to do something different this time. It’s my heart desire God speaks to you through the words He’s given me. I want you to be spirit fed and led rather than emotional fed and led. I want you to pray this prayer before you read further. I never want to give anyone false hope or have anyone believe there’s life in something God isn’t going to touch. Simply, because, it’s not His will. It’s my heart desire for you to experience everything in God’s will. There’s peace, joy, love, kindness, gentleness and more in God’s will. Relationships aren’t perfect because you aren’t. I say, posses what you’re requiring in someone else. I mean mentally, emotionally and spiritually. By keeping God first, all things are possible through Jesus Christ. All things.

Jesus, guide me by your spirit as I read this blog

Speak to my heart in ways that you never have before

Give me clarity and understanding about your will for my life

May confirmation and peace be with me when I’m done reading

Bless me with the wisdom to see your will during this time of my life

It’s you Jesus that I desire more than anything

It’s through You that all things are revealed

Open the eyes of my heart to see what you’re showing me in this blog

Show me your will about the person I have my eyes on

Remove from this relationship if it’s not what you desire for me

It’s in Jesus name that I pray, amen!

 

Determining if you met the love of your life is difficult when emotion is the only point of reference you have to confirm God’s will. I’m in no way suggesting feeling a deep interest, love or longing for someone is negative. Emotions are gift from God. It’s how we experience the humanity of a person. That’s the good and the bad. Feeling is an aspect of love. It’s passionate and breathtaking. However, as I pointed out moments ago, you need something more than feeling to confirm if you are or aren’t with the right person. Having an emotional high for someone without God ‘s confirmation can be devastating.

An emotional high prescribes the euphoria like your favorite romantic movie. The feeling of meeting someone with promising potential feels sublime. Everything feels right. I’m sure you’re well acquainted with early “good morning” texts from your love interest, along with some Christ-like words of encouragement. A.m., texts often leads to, in between afternoon texts and maybe, in between short phone conversations. Preferably around lunch time or a “bathroom break” or out getting “a whiff of fresh air.” Whatever is your vice is to get out of the office, house or chair, I understand. Those afternoon texts and short conversations will more than likely drift into evening and midnight conversation.  Midnight for some reason creates an atmosphere of transparency. Perhaps your guard is let down when the pressures and responsibilities of life are asleep in the wee hours of the morning. Candid conversation opens you up to exchange some of the most personal and intimate parts of your life. You talk about painful times of tribulation, lost and moments you felt like there was no other than God who pulled you through defying times. You also share memorable high points of your life. Like how God blessed you with the new career, how you started a business, or found a new church home. As the night turns into early morning, you end the call with a mutual feeling of excitement, renewed faith and hope. This newfound picture of life includes you two in it. You see each other spending life together in the most perfect, peaceful and Godly way. Optimism takes precedence as you sleep the 4 or 5 hours you have left to start the day.

Whether you’re aware of it or not, exchanging the matters and experiences of your heart is a way to build a soul-tie. There’s intimacy involved when you connect with someone in a spiritual and emotional way.  A bridge of closeness is coming together that creates just enough security and trust that you feel safe. You start to think, just maybe, I found someone special.  You’re ready to blow the trumpet and make the announcement to family and friends that you found the person you’ve been praying and waiting for. Oh, I forgot, that announcement is also extended to Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, IG too, but that’s hold until you know it’s official. I’ve learned the hard lesson of premature announcements. You cringe behind door, asking yourself, what I tell those closest to me I found the love of my life. You feel embarrassed, stupid and ashamed. You ultimately feel like the “Donkey of the Day.” If you “named” it and “claimed” it, fine. It’s not too late to seek God’s will. You have the chance to stop the boat from sailing out too far in the sea. This is a time to pray. If you have been talking to someone for several months, with the intent to court, I suggest praying if you’re feeling unsure. If you’re engaged to someone, and you feel skeptical about this person, it’s not too late to seek God’s confirmation. Pray. If you married someone, without the peace and confirmation in your heart, pray. God loves you so much to see you live life outside of His will. There isn’t a need to feel ashamed. Most of the content in my blogs derive from personal experiences, but as Paul says so unashamedly to the church of Corinth, in 1 Corinthians 13:11, reflecting on life before his encounter first encounter with Christ, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, and reason like a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things.” Part of those childish things I put away was not moving forward with someone without God’s confirmation. I don’t care how good she looks, what accolades she has, people she knows, what she possesses materialistically or the kind of relationship she has with God, I’m seeking God’s confirmation before I become emotionally and spiritually invested. Time is a gift that cannot be squandered. I want to touch on a few key points of how God confirms His will to you It happens naturally and spiritually.  In part III, I will share the wisdom and knowledge God has blessed me with. I pray that you find them useful and applicable to your life.

 

Faith, Honesty, How to Find Love, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, New Contemporary Romance, Patience, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

God’s Confirmation vs An Emotional High Pt. II

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