Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

Intimacy of Covenant Pt. I

In the introduction, I touched on how love is often defined by emotion. For many people, how someone makes you feel is the premise for what love is and feels like. However, God is love and He is spirit. Love exists and began because of Him. And everything He created was out of love. Galatians 5:22 highlights the fruits of His Spirit. Love is the first one listed, and it’s not there randomly.  Out of love flows joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control In other words, none of these qualities can be without love. You may ask yourself, how does this tie into the topic, intimacy of covenant. What I’m giving you is a foundation to incorporate into your definition and outlook of love. I used to have a list of qualities that I wanted in a woman. None of which included the fruits of God’s spirit.  Being equally yoked is also having and embracing the same definition of what love is and looks like in a godly relationship.  A reason relationships fail are because of contrasting thoughts and opinions of what love is.  It’s hard to come into a mutual agreement when you see different perspectives in a picture. And yes I agree that there’s beauty, intrigue and excitement in diversity and difference of opinion. However, when to comes to a  Christ-like union, there must be a common ground and a path bigger, but narrow enough for you to walk on with the love of your life. By bigger, I’m alluding to the ability to be unselfish and share your life with someone else.  By narrow, when two marry, they become one flesh.  You must be equally yoked in Christ to walk the narrow path of holiness and godliness in a persuasive and secular world. Light and darkness can’t occupy the same space.

I want you to understand something that’s very poignant here. The deeper your intimacy is with God, more depth and substance is added to how you love. The gifts of wisdom and understanding will help you love in an impactful way. I speak of the kind of loving that transforms and opens another’s eyes to see Christ in you. Your spouse should see more of Christ in you than you. The scales fell from Paul eyes represents a new life, a new vision, a new purpose and new love. Paul transitioned from a life of persecuting to a life of love. Believers in Christ couldn’t comprehend this drastic and sudden change. That is to say, we cannot fully comprehend the love, the thoughts and the ways of God. We should be transformed from our former life and former way of loving to Holy Spirit way of loving. This doesn’t mean we’re going to be perfect. It means we are to surrender, commit and be active in treating others the way God shows us grace and mercy towards us.

Many of you are praying for a sign of confirmation if you met the one. Look to see the fruits of God’s spirit is present within you and the person you’re investing time with.

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, inspiration, love, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

Intimacy of Covenant, the Introduction

Love is often define within the limitation of emotion. It’s God who helps you understand that the emotions you feel from love are just an over flow of a spiritual connection you have with each other. I’m sure you come to experience and understand that emotions are sometimes misleading. They aren’t consistent, because people aren’t perfect. Your significant could do or say something that’s hurtful to you, or, they could be unfaithful to you. In that instance, the emotions that you associate love with, will ultimately vanish. What you called love would take the form of hate. Anger and betrayal can push to that point of no return.  And if cheating isn’t the cause, or an intense argument neglection is another element that could propel one to feel unloved. You must truly understand how God defines love in 1 Corinthians 13. When you mediate on these scriptures, you’ll begin to see that God is love, that He is kind and patient. His love nither bring dishonor or is it self-seeking. You will also see those qualities on display in the life of Jesus Christ. If emotions are what define love for you, I encourage you to look deeper and further than the surface.

The cliche “love is a choice” rings true, but what’s more profound is that God is love. The decision to surrender your love life to God will prove to be a wise one. A successful and godly relationship rests on Christ being at the center of it. In 1 Corinthians, love is defined. In 2 Corinthians 6:14,  the word of God tells who He wants us to experience love with and the nature of the relationship you should have with one another. 2 Corinthians 6:14. A man or woman who’s has given their life to Christ, surrendered their life to Christ and is in an intimate with him, is who God wants you to spend the rest of your life with. I will go in detail later what this kind of Christian looks like according to scripture and not Melvin Davis (me).  Being in a relationship or married to an individual in Christ is what makes two equally yoked.

Being eaually yoked isn’t a metaphor. The yoke of something is the core of something. The core holds everything together, so that which you have built may live and have life more abundantly. It’s the foundation that everything else rests on. “Yoke”equates to spirit. When you are intimate with someone, you become yoked.  It’s your spirit that joins two together. They are yoked by spirit through intimacy. Intimacy isn’t just within the parameter of sex. Intimacy is also experienced through conversation, investing quality time together, physical touch such as hugging, holding and kissing each other. It’s whatever you do  that allows one to enter your personal space such as your heart and your mind to earn your trust, love, affection and sacrifice.

In order to have a godly relationship, you must be in a committed relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  An issue some believers in Christ have is they desire a godly relationship or to court or be courted in a Christ-like way, but their lifestyle contradicts what they’re seeking, expecting and praying for. The desire maybe in you to want a lifestyle and a relationship that comes from God, however, because a part of your heart is in covenant with the world, you find yourself being drawn to a lifestyle and relationships that’s out of the will of God. When you are following the walk of the Holy Spirit that is in you, you’ll no longer have a taste or an attraction for what’s unholy. Godly men who are walking in a holy and intimate relationship with God, don’t have a desire or an attraction for women who speak with profanity, adorns herself in sensuality, seduction and vanity. Neither does a godly woman, walking in the same magnitude of holiness, have an affinity for men who easily overtake undgodly women by their fame, high status in life, material possessions or the appeal of their physical attraction. Feelings that stem from love is not the icing on the cake. Mistaking the icing for the foundation positions you to overlook how everything came together to make the cake stand with substance. You have to know the depth of someone to appreciate their surface. By surface, I’m speaking of feelings. You must have depth, i.e, an intimate relationship with God,  to build a godly intimate covenant with someone.  Love’s foundation and beginning is spiritual. God draws you together, confirms his will in your spirit and gives you peace about each other that surpasses your own understanding. Examples of that confoundity sound like, “where have you been all of my life,” or “I never knew you existed” or “ you are the definition of what haven’t experienced and what couldn’t articulate with words before I met you.” Feeling don’t complete the love and the relationship you have for each other. Emotions you feel from love are just an over flow of a spiritual connection you have with each other.

 

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She is My Proverbs 31

I kneel and kiss your hand because you are a virtuous woman

In your presence, the curtains of my life pull back for you to see all:

 You find faithfulness, respect, the ability and desire to love unconditionally

Because of what you saw, you took center on my heart with security

I sit and watch you do what you do with perfection

As you dance swiftly with grace, the power of your footprints compels me join you

Eye meets eye, you smile, I smile, chemistry sizzles and God, the conductor standing in between us, approves of this symphony that moves our souls

Hand against hand, the movement from my lips as I confessed, “you are my Proverbs 31”—tickle you but comfort sits in

 “May I have the honor?”

“Yes,” God replied.

I took out a ring and kneeled before my virtuous woman

“Will you?”

“Yes,” she answered before I could ask the question

Our eyes filled with tears of joy because God ordained this moment and gave us unspeakable peace to transition into a lifelong commitment

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Be truthful. Be forthright. Be honest.

 

I had a 2 hour a conversation with a married couple a few days ago. What I heard benefited me tremendously. Their testimony and experiences rejuvenated my hope and excitement in finding a faithful woman. Not just a faithful woman, but a God-fearing one. The wife said to me, “I rather be hurt by the truth than to be hurt by a lie. It’s more difficult to recover from a lie. People forgive, however lies are like tough stains that are hard to get out of the heart and memory. The husband and wife both confessed that they have had difficult times in their marriage, which is expected, but they never lied to each other. The husband said, “I always tell her the truth–even if it hurts her, but at least she knows I am being honest.” A woman respects when a man truthful. Vice versa. I want to point out a trend that’s not new, but more obvious in 2016. It makes finding love more challenging, as well as having meaningful friendships. It’s called “The Art of Passive Aggressiveness.” This isn’t new profound revelation, so I encourage you to dislodge you’re excitement. However, what I present to you is something I think you should be conscious of. Let’s get into it.

Matthew 5: 37 says, “But let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’, ‘no.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”

Matthew 5: 37 talks about being truthful and dishonest. When you tell the truth in love, you’re mirroring the image of Christ. When you lie, you emulate the nature of our adversary. Finding honesty in people is hard to come by in 2016. Rather than telling the truth, individuals opt to be passive aggressive or lie altogether. I understand the fear of hurting someone’s feeling lingers at the forefront of your mind. You know the impact it could have on the other person who’s deeply interested in you. However, hiding what you truly feel or just completely ignoring the person you welcomed them into your life, doesn’t do the entire situation much justice. It doesn’t help the other person either. You’re building momentum to the hurt the person in a greater way by prolonging what needs to be said now than later. It’s essential to keep in mind the concept of sowing and reaping. I’m speaking from experience.

When it comes to where you are emotionally, mentally or spiritually, be truthful. Be forthright. Be honest. If you recently exited a relationship, and you’re on the brink of entering another one without communicating where you stand, failure is the likely outcome. I suggest being single for a while. Breathe. Heal. Reflect. Learn. Grow. Going into new situation broken will create more brokenness. God wants you sit still, so He can deal without the other hurts in your life before he addresses the recent hurt of your breakup. God works strategically and in order.

Maybe the above doesn’t apply to you. Perhaps investing time with someone you’re not really interested in for the reason that you’re lonely, need attention, just killing time and banking on another relationship to heal you is call deception. Deception is to posture yourself in a way to hold another attention. It’s like conversing or interacting in a way to gives a false sense of hope. It’s okay to say, “I’m not interested. Or, “I don’t foresee anything pass a friendship.” It’s only right for the other party to know the truth. Putting yourself in a position of power to pick and choose when you want to be bothered, talk, text, or blatantly ignore the person altogether is impolite, rude and insensitive. Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself if you want to be recipient of this kind of behavior. God isn’t going to curse or strike you down for being honest about you how feel and where you stand.  Communicate the truth. Communicate the truth in love. The person maybe hurt when you tell them how you feel, but they will respect you. If they choose to leave of your life, at least you know they you aren’t keeping them around for any other reason. They will meet the person God has for them. So will you. It’s better to give the other party the option to make the best decision for their self and emotional well-being.

If you’re like me, God has you on hold. And while you’re in the waiting room, opportunities are going to come your way to date or entertain a love interest. I know this is frustrating. I’ve been single since 2008. That’s not to say that I haven’t dated since. I have, but God taught me a lesson about dating, which is, don’t date. You’re probably thinking, well, that doesn’t make sense. Doesn’t Proverbs 18:22 say, “He that finds a wife finds a good thing.”  This is absolutely true. True when God releases you to find or pursue. True when God says yes. True in the context of His timing. Here’s what God taught me about dating. Don’t date. When I pray about someone I’m interested in, the Holy Spirit reveals the Father’s will to me.  Jesus tells us in John 16:13, “But when he, the Holy Spirit comes, he will lead you and guide you into ALL truth.” I lie to you not. God answers my prayers in sometimes minutes, hours, a day or two. No longer than a month. Hearing “no” is disappointing. Really disappointing when YOU see potential, but think of the impact of the disappointment of going forth without seeking God’s will. When you’re in the waiting period, you can say, “This isn’t the season for me. God hasn’t permitted me get involved with anyone at this time.”  When a person completely objects to spiritual statement of truth, because it “doesn’t make sense,” or it  “sounds like BS,” you don’t have to pray. The person has either communicated they aren’t born of the Spirit of God through Christ or they lack spiritual maturity. You would be unequally yoked on both accounts if you choose to go forward. Embracing anything that’s not the will of God comes with unnecessary heartache, drama, confusion and pain. I’ve been there before too.

Get into the habit of being honest. Having courtesy for another feelings goes along way. It’s called communication.  Honest communication. I know it’s more convenient to hide what you’re truly feeling and thinking or to simply ignore someone. I’m guilty of this, but I changed when the Holy Spirit convicted me and I reaped what I sow. Folks may think you’re being “mean” for being honest, forthright and truthful. We live in “I don’t want to offend you” aka Passive Aggressiveness times. The scripture doesn’t teach us to be passive or lukewarm. The word of God teaches us to let your “yes, be yes. Your no, be no.”

There will come a time when the tables are turned. Where you are the one head over heels and the other person is the puppet master. Having your emotional and mental strings pulled by someone isn’t a good feeling. Be truthful. Be forthright. Be honest.

 

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Before I get into the message, I want to do something different this time. It’s my heart desire God speaks to you through the words He’s given me. I want you to be spirit fed and led rather than emotional fed and led. I want you to pray this prayer before you read further. I never want to give anyone false hope or have anyone believe there’s life in something God isn’t going to touch. Simply, because, it’s not His will. It’s my heart desire for you to experience everything in God’s will. There’s peace, joy, love, kindness, gentleness and more in God’s will. Relationships aren’t perfect because you aren’t. I say, posses what you’re requiring in someone else. I mean mentally, emotionally and spiritually. By keeping God first, all things are possible through Jesus Christ. All things.

Jesus, guide me by your spirit as I read this blog

Speak to my heart in ways that you never have before

Give me clarity and understanding about your will for my life

May confirmation and peace be with me when I’m done reading

Bless me with the wisdom to see your will during this time of my life

It’s you Jesus that I desire more than anything

It’s through You that all things are revealed

Open the eyes of my heart to see what you’re showing me in this blog

Show me your will about the person I have my eyes on

Remove from this relationship if it’s not what you desire for me

It’s in Jesus name that I pray, amen!

 

Determining if you met the love of your life is difficult when emotion is the only point of reference you have to confirm God’s will. I’m in no way suggesting feeling a deep interest, love or longing for someone is negative. Emotions are gift from God. It’s how we experience the humanity of a person. That’s the good and the bad. Feeling is an aspect of love. It’s passionate and breathtaking. However, as I pointed out moments ago, you need something more than feeling to confirm if you are or aren’t with the right person. Having an emotional high for someone without God ‘s confirmation can be devastating.

An emotional high prescribes the euphoria like your favorite romantic movie. The feeling of meeting someone with promising potential feels sublime. Everything feels right. I’m sure you’re well acquainted with early “good morning” texts from your love interest, along with some Christ-like words of encouragement. A.m., texts often leads to, in between afternoon texts and maybe, in between short phone conversations. Preferably around lunch time or a “bathroom break” or out getting “a whiff of fresh air.” Whatever is your vice is to get out of the office, house or chair, I understand. Those afternoon texts and short conversations will more than likely drift into evening and midnight conversation.  Midnight for some reason creates an atmosphere of transparency. Perhaps your guard is let down when the pressures and responsibilities of life are asleep in the wee hours of the morning. Candid conversation opens you up to exchange some of the most personal and intimate parts of your life. You talk about painful times of tribulation, lost and moments you felt like there was no other than God who pulled you through defying times. You also share memorable high points of your life. Like how God blessed you with the new career, how you started a business, or found a new church home. As the night turns into early morning, you end the call with a mutual feeling of excitement, renewed faith and hope. This newfound picture of life includes you two in it. You see each other spending life together in the most perfect, peaceful and Godly way. Optimism takes precedence as you sleep the 4 or 5 hours you have left to start the day.

Whether you’re aware of it or not, exchanging the matters and experiences of your heart is a way to build a soul-tie. There’s intimacy involved when you connect with someone in a spiritual and emotional way.  A bridge of closeness is coming together that creates just enough security and trust that you feel safe. You start to think, just maybe, I found someone special.  You’re ready to blow the trumpet and make the announcement to family and friends that you found the person you’ve been praying and waiting for. Oh, I forgot, that announcement is also extended to Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, IG too, but that’s hold until you know it’s official. I’ve learned the hard lesson of premature announcements. You cringe behind door, asking yourself, what I tell those closest to me I found the love of my life. You feel embarrassed, stupid and ashamed. You ultimately feel like the “Donkey of the Day.” If you “named” it and “claimed” it, fine. It’s not too late to seek God’s will. You have the chance to stop the boat from sailing out too far in the sea. This is a time to pray. If you have been talking to someone for several months, with the intent to court, I suggest praying if you’re feeling unsure. If you’re engaged to someone, and you feel skeptical about this person, it’s not too late to seek God’s confirmation. Pray. If you married someone, without the peace and confirmation in your heart, pray. God loves you so much to see you live life outside of His will. There isn’t a need to feel ashamed. Most of the content in my blogs derive from personal experiences, but as Paul says so unashamedly to the church of Corinth, in 1 Corinthians 13:11, reflecting on life before his encounter first encounter with Christ, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, and reason like a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things.” Part of those childish things I put away was not moving forward with someone without God’s confirmation. I don’t care how good she looks, what accolades she has, people she knows, what she possesses materialistically or the kind of relationship she has with God, I’m seeking God’s confirmation before I become emotionally and spiritually invested. Time is a gift that cannot be squandered. I want to touch on a few key points of how God confirms His will to you It happens naturally and spiritually.  In part III, I will share the wisdom and knowledge God has blessed me with. I pray that you find them useful and applicable to your life.

 

Faith, Honesty, How to Find Love, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, New Contemporary Romance, Patience, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

God’s Confirmation vs An Emotional High Pt. II

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The Introduction of The Healing Process

The heart of a problem lies in the heart.–Melvin Davis

Whether you’re the recipient of having your heart broken, or the one who delivered a crushing blow to someone else, reflection and healing is a should happen before enter another relationship. It’s extremely important and necessary as you move forward, because 1) You want to be free from any hurt. Emotional availability is the possibility of beginning a new relationship. If your heart and mind is focused on the past, you will present inconsistency in giving undivided time and devotion to the next person you find interest in  2.  You want to be whole. A relationship focused on healing someone is not a relationship. It’s called counseling, providing therapy. It’s vital to be aware and in control of whatever that’s effecting you. When you aren’t conscious about how what’s hurting you or how your past impacts your present, you’ll continue to stumble into relationships, expecting that person to heal you instead of loving you. In other words, the focus and the core of the relationship will be geared toward building you up verses loving you. And after you have healed, you will move on. You subconsciously received what you needed, and that person no longer serves a purpose in your life. Hardly anyone is blemish free of personal issues. We all have something we’re battling or dealing with it, privately or publicly. When you are aware about your issues beneath the surface, you could still develop something meaningful with someone.

Some of the strongest relationships derive from the strongest friendships. Meaningful friendships often happen through the exchanging of personal experiences, and being a presence of strength and support. What this means is that the love of your life could be the very person who helps you heal or vice versa, and you two could move forward experiencing a romantic love. 

Maybe what you’re dealing with has nothing to do with a relationship. Perhaps you’re praying for healing in your body, or battling anger or resentment toward or from family members. Maybe the conditions you’re combating is spiritual. Whereas, you want to live a life devoted to Christ, and according to God’s will, but there’s something snatching you back into that lifestyle  or place of pain, when you try change or move on. Whatever you’re confronted with, you can change and you can move on a healed and better person. All things are possible through Jesus Christ.  I hope and pray you read this message with an open heart. In fact, I pray you say this prayer.

 

God I am undeserving of your grace and healing, but I know, because you died on the cross for my sins, sin has no power over me.

I come to you with an open heart. I want to be honest with you. I am hurt. I am broken, I don’t know how to love or to receive it. I’m tired of feeling down and depressed. I have no peace. No joy, No laughter. No tears. I’ve cried enough. I’ve talked about it enough. I need you.

God, come into my life and heal my heart, because I can’t do it on my own. I need your help. I believe in my heart that you can heal some of my deepest wounds and rejections. Forgive me for my wrongdoing and sins, acts that I’ve committed knowingly and unknowingly. Forgive the person who hurt me. I can no longer hold them accountable because you’re speaking to my heart in this moment of what I need to do.

Heal me.

Release me.

In Jesus Christ name I pray. Amen.

I am healed. I am whole. 

 

To those who haven’t given their life to Christ, but you’re on the fence to, because you know there’s something other than you that’s been speaking to you, I open the door to salvation. I invite you to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. Pray this prayer.

God, I can no longer live life doing things my way. I can no longer live in sin or pretend like you don’t exist.

Father, on this day, I give my life to you, by acknowledging that your son Jesus Christ died on the cross my sins, and in three days, was raised from the dead by the same spirit that breathed life into me.

I accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. In Jesus name I pray, Amen. 

To you who prayed this prayer, wherever you are, the same spirit that’s in Christ, that raised him from the dead, is now in you. Pray that The Holy Spirit lead you to a church to complete the process of salvation. As Christ was baptized, as told in Matthew 3: 13-17, you also must also get baptized. I am praying for guidance and direction for you. 

 

Stay tuned for part I of The Healing Process. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This is Not the End

Heartbreak is an unearthing disconnect from someone. The severing of two souls no longer joined together by the spirit, to grace each other eyes with the same passion, trust and conviction of love that once existed. However, with every ounce of effort and energy, utilizing every emotional and rational means of persuasion, it’s possible to relieve the past again. But ponder this possibility before you save what’s not in God’s will. 1. It will never be the same. 2. You’re too drained to enjoy what you fought to save, but, This is Not the End.

if you’re faithful during the process of heartbreak, the same spirit that you led you into that relationship, to pull out of you, the authentic you, is the same spirit that will heal and give you a second chance at love. It may not be with the same person you’re praying to be with, but you will be a different person to someone else.

I understand the great challenge of letting go, but If you hold to what’s dead, the joy inside your spirit will drift away–causing you to fall into a deep place of depression. You’ll also prolonge the healing the process and delay who you could meet. If you have the faith to let you, you will see the sun [Son] ascend from your dark clouds, and raised your temple again. The temple you, your heart and crushed spirit.

I want you to know this failed relationship is not the end for you. Believe me when I say this: With God, all things are truly possible. The love of your life is on the way. Let go. Embrace what is and move forward. This is not the end.

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