love

I’m Not Looking for the Perfect Woman

I’m sure the majority of women who have been reading my posts feel that I have high expectations beyond this world. They may think I’m looking to be with a supermodel woman or she has to look like the woman that’s eye candy to many men. Or, I’m specifically set on being with someone of the same culture. That’s not the case. Beauty and love extends beyond the color of my skin. And a high level of physical attraction doesn’t promise love. It promises lust. Other women may feel they have to be where I’m at spiritually. That’s not the case either. While physical attraction and chemistry, good conversation and having a spiritual connection matters, I’m a down to earth simple guy who sees himself with a down to earth, fun and simple woman. My expectations are realistic but not watered down or negotiated for just being with anyone.

I’m not looking for the perfect woman because the perfect woman believes she’s perfect is too good for anyone else. She also feels that no one measures up to her.  She seeks every opportunity to highlight your weaknesses rather than praise you strengths. Arrogance and conceitedness blindfolds her. I don’t know any man who would desire a woman like that. If so, it’s for the same of looking good in public or for sexual purposes, if you know what I mean.

I’m attracted to women who are humbled, who seek to experience love on a spiritual level, and knows how to communicate. Communication for some means yapping uncontrollably. Sorry. My attention span isn’t built that way. In a lecture, yes, it’s expected. My mind wanders when the uncontrollable yapping happens, and I immediately lose interest. Communication means to be conscious of another in your presence. You are engaging them. Not yourself.

I’m not looking for the perfect woman because I’m not a perfect man. I noted in a previous blog that although I may seem wise and knowledgeable, driven and well rounded, spiritually in tuned to people and my environment, and well put together, I’m flawed. I’m a human being who tries to live everyday improving.  I’m glad I’m not the perfect man. That’s too much pressure.

I’m not looking for the perfect woman because I’m looking for a woman I can grow, build and evolve with.  Relationships are built upon the building and rebidding of each other. I’m well aware that many people come from different family structures and relational experiences. And some of those who family structures and relational experiences may have created insecurities or have made their heart callous. I enter situations to learn about that person so I can understand who she is today, and how far she comes into being a woman. It’s important to understand who a woman is so I can be aware and sensitive to the woman she is today, as well as her to her needs. Empathy, listening and understanding is important her.

I’m not necessarily looking for a woman who’s where I’m at spiritually. Once upon a time, I was not who I am today. However, what’s important to me, and what I listen and look for in a woman is her desire to grow in God through Christ. I maybe the reason she may grow spiritually. She could be the reason why God taught me to love with compassion, with patience, kindness, etc., and to her strengths to compliment my weakness. Relationships are supposed to bring balance.

If you’re looking for the perfect person, I suggest you take a deeper look into the mirror. A perfect reflection isn’t staring back at you. It’s an illusion. That perfect doesn’t exist because you don’t exist in the reality of your humaneness. If you were created perfect, you wouldn’t have to depend on or acknowledge your Creator. No one one would be able to compliment you or please you.

I dig humble woman. They are attractive.

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love

How to Connect with a Woman Spiritually

A woman is more than her body. She is spirit. She is soul. She wants to experience love from you there. Get to know her there.–Melvin Davis

Being spiritual often has a negative, boring connotation to it. Most people think those who are spiritual live mundane, disinteresting and predicable lives.  There’s no fervor or excitement. It’s also believed that those who are spiritual sit in an empty room praying or offering up chants all day. Well, some may actually do, but there are persons who are down earth and human too. I could see this perspective, if you aren’t spiritual, however, there are some benefits of being spiritual. In the context with a woman, you’ll understand why.

I’d like to have your undivided attention for a few moments. I want to brush over the canvas of your thoughts with the brush of wisdom and insight. My paint is the experiences and what I’ve acquired from above. Here are three ways to connect with a woman spiritually. This is nothing deep, nothing you never heard before but maybe not said this way.

  1.  Connecting with a woman spiritually lends to good listening skills. When you’re able to articulate to her what she’s saying underneath and through her emotions, or what she can’t say with words, she knows that you are listening.

Listening draws her closer to you because you taking into consideration of what’s important to her on her mind. And because you’re listening, her heart is more prone to open up to you, to share more with you.

  1. Understanding. Understand her history to coexist with her in the present.

Understanding is just as powerful as misunderstanding someone. Many, I mean many relationships and friendships have fell apart due to poor communications and misunderstanding. It happens everyday.

With it comes to understanding a woman, listen without judgment her or the intent to use her past to have emotional or mental leverage over her. Understanding takes listening with a heart of love and empathy.

  1. Becoming a part of her secret place. The secret place is her place of peace, intimacy and serenity. It’s where she sets aside time to get refocus and center herself. It’s where she communions with God.

Becoming a part of her secret may also take time and patience. Not everyone gets to go there. She has to absolutely trust and FEEL secure with you before she invites you there. There, in her secret place, is when you get the opportunity to see her true spiritual side. There, you may also see her cry, because she may be reflecting on the wonders of God, how far she’s come from her pas, and how you showed up in her life—possibily to good to be true.. This is your opportunity to join her in prayer, to read with her or to simply sit in silence. Silence in the secret place is just as powerful as spoken words.

Furthermore, her interpretation of your presence in her secret place must be one of strength, certainty and spiritual and emotional support. Your ticket to that secret place lies in your relationship with God, or willingness to have one.

  1. Demonstration of Unconditional love.

If I were to coin this chapter in my life, it’s called, Learning How to Love, Unconditionally.

It’s easy to love when it’s convenient for you. That’s call loving with conditions. When you reach a point of learning how to love others around you, who can be tough to love, you matured. You stepped out love despite of how you feel. And when you learn how to love unconditionally, you can take that same ability to love unconditionally, in a relationship.

A spiritual woman interprets a man’s ability to love unconditionally by what’s in his spirit. She’s asking. Is he…

  1. Patient
  2. Kind
  3. Forgiving
  4. Faithful
  5. Good
  6. Gentle
  7. Full of joy
  8. Fill with love
  9. Has a heart of peace.

If you could love her unconditionally, you could love her beyond her flaws and often times, mixed emotions. Your conditional love toward her is your consistency.

These are three ways of how could connect with a woman spiritually.

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love, Melvin Davis

Broken Promises

A broken promise is God’s opportunity to give you what He promised.—Melvin Davis
We know the beginning of a new relationship is filled with excitement and pure intentions. The fuzzy feeling is record-breaking, considering what you experienced before. The emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connection you longed for has now arrived. And to top that off, you’re both on the same page of what you want out of life. Everything’s a go. You hop in the car of commitment, hit cruise control, and silently pray that the two of you will continue see the same road, driving at the same speed.

As a year and half approaches, you really start to think seriously about each other. By this time, you met the family and friends. And yep, they gave you the thumbs up for approval. However, a few out of the bunch just feel indifferent about your new relationship. But hey, at least you were independent enough to prevent outside perspectives and projections to influence the decision you made, or break the bond you have with that person. I truly commend you. And also, by this time, you’ve probably been on a few vacations together, and spent two of the most meaningful and anticipating holidays of the year together. Thanksgiving and Christmas. Family time with the love of you life is two of the most memorable and enjoyable memories. I could recall the joy that I had with ex’s family. It was good to see everyone together, eating and laughing. And I enjoyed my time with her. Family is truly important to me. Anyhow, as the holidays come to a closure, you saw each other lives merged into one. You’re thought, I could really see myself spending the rest of my life with this person. Those fuzzy feelings are still there, at least for one person. But, somehow, someone pumped the breaks, and totally disrupted the flow of the cruise. Heck, they even took their hand off of the steering wheel, and abandoned the car. You had no idea what changed and what happened. You thought all along things were great. No problems. Or, you know exactly what happened. At this point now, the commitment you had was shattered. You’re embarrassed and hurt because you told your family and friend’s about the promise. The promise was that you would spend the rest of your life together. I want to talk you about the broken promise of commitment.

A broken promise in a relationship is the deep emotional and spiritual blow that comes after the breakup. Simply because: you’re in a stage of reflection, thinking about that happened. You’re overwhelmed. You can’t figure things out, although the truth unveiled itself to your heart. Sometimes it takes a while for someone to accept the truth. Anyhow, more devastatingly: you really start to think about all the time you invested with that person, and with their family and friends. Money is something you could get back, but not them. If you been here before, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you’re currently experiencing a broken promise, I’m not going to let you walk away without restoring your hope, and starting you on the road to recovery. It’s faith and healing time. Take a cruise with me.

That person may have promised the life you imagined to experience together as a couple or a life the you saw growing up before your innocent eyes. You saw your parents enjoy and relish those good moments that had with each other. But somehow, that promise was broken. Maybe unfaithfulness was the cause. Maybe the person just gave up on you, because it was easy to not fight for the love you believed in. Maybe, somewhere down the road, their emotional, physical and spiritual needs weren’t met, and they never said a word to you about it. The feeling of not having the opportunity to correct the problem leaves a feeling of being cheated. Maybe they voiced their concerns, but you failed, because either didn’t know how to make the necessary adjustments or you grew tired of watering a plant in a pot that was cracked. Whichever the cause, I have good news for you.

The person you were with may have hit you with a mighty blow.  You have all the reasons to be angry, to become better and to give up on love.  I want to encourage you today to not become the pain. Take the lesson out of the pain, and allow it become your wisdom, your eyes and ears of discernment. So, when you meet the next person, you’ll know how to communicate, address issues, and back out when you know you and your potential love interest, aren’t on the same page. A broken promise is God’s opportunity to give you what He promised. Faith is the key.

Sometimes you experienced heartbreak and disappointments, for the very reason of knowing the person you was with, isn’t the one for you. You have to have a starting point to know what or who doesn’t work for you, but now you know.

As tough as it may seem, refuse to become bitter. I repeat. Don’t become bitter, and to add, hopeless. There’s someone out there who will meet you where you are and accept you for who you are.

You are special. You are great. You are a confident loving person.

To my fellow gentlemen, you are a King. You were created to conquer. Not in a demeaning way. I’m talking about your purpose, your dreams, and to take your place in your marriage as a leader and protector. You were created to love with courage and boldness, to be a presence of might and strength.

And to women, you are a virtuous woman. You were created to nurture, care and to also love. You are a queen fit to stand next to your king. You strength is your compliment to what your King lacks. You aid in the success of the sacred union you have, and in other areas of your life.

You are beautiful. You are a woman. You are strength.

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love

My Phenomenal Woman

My Phenomenal Woman

How could I not kneel and kiss your hand out of reverence? You are a gift from heavenly places

How could I not communicate the matters of my heart to you? You are my wife. We are one.

How could I be unfaithful to you? I waited so long for a gem, a virtuous woman

You are a phenomenal woman

Your love language is easy for me to interpret because I listen when you open your heart to me

I make love to you, and nothing less, because you deserve my highest expression

I kiss you passionately because my love for you is fill with passion

You are a phenomenal woman

Your loving flows with milk and honey; my preference of taste

I love your imperfections, the way you address your concerns, so let’s talk

I love the way you walk, the way you wear you dress, because you have been shaped with the hands of angels empowered by God

You are everything to me

You are my phenomenal woman

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