How to Connect with a Woman Spiritually

A woman is more than her body. She is spirit. She is soul. She wants to experience love from you there. Get to know her there.–Melvin Davis

Being spiritual often has a negative, boring connotation to it. Most people think those who are spiritual live mundane, disinteresting and predicable lives.  There’s no fervor or excitement. It’s also believed that those who are spiritual sit in an empty room praying or offering up chants all day. Well, some may actually do, but there are persons who are down earth and human too. I could see this perspective, if you aren’t spiritual, however, there are some benefits of being spiritual. In the context with a woman, you’ll understand why.

I’d like to have your undivided attention for a few moments. I want to brush over the canvas of your thoughts with the brush of wisdom and insight. My paint is the experiences and what I’ve acquired from above. Here are three ways to connect with a woman spiritually. This is nothing deep, nothing you never heard before but maybe not said this way.

  1.  Connecting with a woman spiritually lends to good listening skills. When you’re able to articulate to her what she’s saying underneath and through her emotions, or what she can’t say with words, she knows that you are listening.

Listening draws her closer to you because you taking into consideration of what’s important to her on her mind. And because you’re listening, her heart is more prone to open up to you, to share more with you.

  1. Understanding. Understand her history to coexist with her in the present.

Understanding is just as powerful as misunderstanding someone. Many, I mean many relationships and friendships have fell apart due to poor communications and misunderstanding. It happens everyday.

With it comes to understanding a woman, listen without judgment her or the intent to use her past to have emotional or mental leverage over her. Understanding takes listening with a heart of love and empathy.

  1. Becoming a part of her secret place. The secret place is her place of peace, intimacy and serenity. It’s where she sets aside time to get refocus and center herself. It’s where she communions with God.

Becoming a part of her secret may also take time and patience. Not everyone gets to go there. She has to absolutely trust and FEEL secure with you before she invites you there. There, in her secret place, is when you get the opportunity to see her true spiritual side. There, you may also see her cry, because she may be reflecting on the wonders of God, how far she’s come from her pas, and how you showed up in her life—possibily to good to be true.. This is your opportunity to join her in prayer, to read with her or to simply sit in silence. Silence in the secret place is just as powerful as spoken words.

Furthermore, her interpretation of your presence in her secret place must be one of strength, certainty and spiritual and emotional support. Your ticket to that secret place lies in your relationship with God, or willingness to have one.

  1. Demonstration of Unconditional love.

If I were to coin this chapter in my life, it’s called, Learning How to Love, Unconditionally.

It’s easy to love when it’s convenient for you. That’s call loving with conditions. When you reach a point of learning how to love others around you, who can be tough to love, you matured. You stepped out love despite of how you feel. And when you learn how to love unconditionally, you can take that same ability to love unconditionally, in a relationship.

A spiritual woman interprets a man’s ability to love unconditionally by what’s in his spirit. She’s asking. Is he…

  1. Patient
  2. Kind
  3. Forgiving
  4. Faithful
  5. Good
  6. Gentle
  7. Full of joy
  8. Fill with love
  9. Has a heart of peace.

If you could love her unconditionally, you could love her beyond her flaws and often times, mixed emotions. Your conditional love toward her is your consistency.

These are three ways of how could connect with a woman spiritually.


Something I Need to Do

Closed I was to you, I open myself up to see the possibility of what if

Opposites we were, a future I could not see with you because you discovered my faith is my reality, and yours, reason– added with a self-concept of faith.

I see the variances of colors in life. You see black and white. I’m an idealist, but I can’t disconnect myself from reality. I could never give my heart to a see to believe it woman

So I discarded you without second-guessing

A new day came and still I wanted to see the possibility of what if

A hi turned into I miss you and I found out you felt the same way

The time we spend together we discovered chemistry

Good feelings within us birthed passionate kisses and images of lovemaking

I see the possibility of what if, but there’s something I need to do first. I need to go to a place

Vivid signs are leading me in a direction I never saw coming, but I’m not surprised by anything.

There’s something God wants me to see, perhaps a second chance given or an opportunity to see the reality that a chapter needs to be completely closed, not booked marked

This overwhelms my heart a great deal. I’m scared, nervous and excited at the same time. But I have act in obedience

I have to reserve a part of me from you to see if a prayer has been answered

The more I think of you, I can see myself being with you

But until then, there’s something I need to do


Single, but I’m Struggling to be Patient for Love: How Can I Overcome My Impatience? Pt. II

Perception is not the truth of your reality, but it can be if you interpret what’s in front of you as so.–Melvin Davis

Those who are impatient for love view the single life as punishment, as if they have been singled out to watch their friends enter new and exciting relationships or perhaps get engaged, or see others jump the broom. I could totally understand how seeing others around you experience love may make you feel a little sad, a bit anxious and maybe create a tune of melancholy in the soundtrack of your life, but these emotions don’t have to be a part of your reality.

In part I of this blog, I pointed out after my “friendship” ended with the woman I was in love with, it was only then I began to undergo the changes that were necessary for my personal and spiritual growth, as well as advancing in my understanding about women, unconditional/love, relationships and marriage. But more importantly, how I perceived being single. At times, in passing, I would come across couples enjoying each other’s company. I didn’t become jealous but I frequently asked the question, “why not me?” After asking this question several times, I arrived to the conclusion I can experience what I see, but first, my perception of being single needed to change, which will further help me understand what it truly means to be patient.

Note: By definition, patience means to wait for something without definitively knowing when it will arrive. Knowing this definition alone to develop patience or to be patient for something isn’t just enough to acquire it. There’s another dimension to patience that needs to be highlighted here in order to develop patience. That is, patience also has an emotional dimension to it. It is an intense, more deeper, a spiritual yearning to have something right a way. You have to get a grip of your emotions because it pulling you in whatever direction in your life, not God.

A time of singleness is a time of developing patience. Some of us have a firm grip on our emotions, whereas, we don’t allow external circumstances to change the weather of what we feel and think. However to develop patience, you have to surrender whatever it is that your heart is yearning for or calling out for silently at night, and or roaring during the day as you go about your day. Since I am a single man of Christian faith, I have finally begun to understand the relation, the connection between patience and surrendering: for me, surrender means to let go of something or someone without looking back, or questioning your decision of what you did so. Questioning will draw you back to where you started.

But there’s something you have to be mindful of when you surrender. Fear. Fear will provoke you to ask the question, “what if I lose what I’m letting go of?” Here’s my response:

You can’t let go of someone who never held your hand or haven’t had the chance to reach out to hold yours because of past internal conditions that are affecting their present external conditions that you aren’t aware of. You’re actually letting go of the idea of being with that person so you can free yourself from emotional bondage.

Impatience is emotional, self-imprisonment. The idea of being with that special person shackles you from living your life because that idea resides in your heart. And whatever is in your heart can be found in your prayers. It is there, in your prayer and by prayer, you must let go. In others words I am saying, in regards to some of my heart desires, I am willing to let go what I desire to have a true chance to have it or to be open to someone else.  I am also doing myself a favor by focusing on having a successful writing career. There are certain things that we have to continue praying for, and others that we must stop praying for. When you stop praying about something or someone, it doesn’t mean that you’re giving up on what it is that you want. It means that you’re putting your trust in God to let your heart desires come into fruition on His time, not yours. It also means there are others things need your attention in your life—something you wouldn’t be able to do if you were in a relationship.

Stay tuned for part III