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God’s Confirmation Vs An Emotional High Pt. I

 

When you see someone who looks like what your heart desires, before you call it love, check with God first. Pray, and He will reveal what you feel is a matter of pure attraction and emotion, or His peace that is the key that unlocks the confirmation you need in your spirit.-Melvin Davis

An emotional high is to be so overtaken by your emotions that it’s difficult for you see the truth of what God is saying about the person you’re pursuing. It’s taken me sometime to master this. When I was younger, I didn’t have the emotional maturity and intelligence I needed to avoid unnecessary experiences. I often got caught on the emotional high with a person. Back then, I equated physical attraction as someone who was God-sent. Whereas, because she was pleasing to the eye, she had to be pure, divine and the one. I’ve learned that beauty often comes with all kinds of destruction, dysfunctional and toxic behaviors that makes you ask yourself, how did I get entangled in this emotional web? When you don’t know who you are, you could easily fall into deception and mistaken attraction for confirmation. Think of people react when they see a celebrity. They lose it. Good looks does not translate into love. There’s nothing wrong with emotions or having emotions toward someone. It’s just important to be under control to see what God is showing you.

With emotional maturity comes the ability to wait and see what God has to say about the person you’re interested in before you become emotionally involved. Sounds like patience huh? It takes time to develop emotional maturity accompanied with patience. You want to know God’s truth about the person you have your eye on, pursuing or dating before you taken an emotional step into their life, and vice versa. I think it’s important to know what God has to say before you arrive to a point of dating. At least this is how God deals with me. If I see great potential, I ask God to reveal if she’s my wife. I’m sure you’re thinking, isn’t it too soon to ask of such a request. Well, I’m going to say no. As you get older in age, and mature in your relationship with God, you have better understanding and value of the importance of time. I’m no longer in a position to kill time with someone because I can. You should never be that lonely that you allow anyone to occupy your space for the sake of passing time.

Emotional maturity is really developed through spiritual discernment. Spiritual discernment is cultivated and enhanced as your relationship with God grows. Spiritual discernment is the ability to know what is and what is not of God. It’s the Holy Spirit leading and guiding you into all truth. Now, in the natural, there are various signs on the surface you could see that will determine if you met the one or not. They’re so visible you don’t have to pray about it. That’s what I want to write about in part II.

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I rather capture your heart and mind than catch your eye.-Melvin Davis

 

When you haven’t experienced a deeper level of love, physical attraction speaks in high volumes, and is first over the underlying important tangibles that sustain love. Love is more than just physical attraction. I’m not suggesting that it doesn’t matter. The reality is that good looks don’t always translate into love, faithfulness or respect. More often, it’s the opposite. When you experienced a deeper and greater depth of beauty in someone else, your definition and views of attraction expands. It changes and evolves into something more realistic, mature and meaningful.

A spiritual, soulful connection is more powerful than physical attraction. There’s something ethereal about a spiritual, soulful connection. Imagine looking at a book without words. The page is bare, yet you could feel something surging inside of you that sing the tune of your heart. And that escorts your spirit to tropical islands and into heavenly realms. You can’t see the words, yet you feel them. You can’t see the words, yet you see the image that’s being painted in your mind. It’s perfect. A masterpiece. A spiritual, soulful connection works the same way. You could sit in each other’s presence, and communicate without words; touch without holding hands, because the love that’s nettling you two closer together resides under the coat of your skin.

I rather capture a woman’s heart and mind, now to add, spirit than her eye. Physical attraction withers away everyday, and an unforeseen freak accident could happen. If I won her over good looks, well, there’s go her interest and the relationship. But if she found beauty in my heart, mind and spirit, I know she’ll stay. I’ve found a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.

Stay tuned for another upcoming short blog called The Beauty of Imperfections  

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A Deeper Attraction

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I have 28 days left to reach my funding goal on indigogo to self-publish my novel Love Again. If you would like to contribute, watch my video.

Thanks for your support.

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The Temptation of Reliving the Past: When Old Feelings Surface

To return to what God led you away from is to jeopardize where he wants to take you with the person he has for you. –Melvin Davis

What do I do now that I’m “single”? is a question many people find themselves asking when they have “moved” on from a failed relationship. You’re somewhat emotionally detached, and you’re somewhat ready to give love through someone new. However, a flashback of the “good times” crosses your mind. Those fond memories emerge with joy, somehow putting a smile on your face, until you think about the toxic and heated arguments, and the intense moments of feeling unappreciated and emotionally and spiritually disconnected. You also remember those signs of unfaithfulness and lies, being ignored and uncared for. You cried next to that person in bed until no more tears could produce from your heart. You’ve talked to so many people about the situation until your mouth grew tired. The truth made itself known to you. And you even prayed about the relationship once more, and God showed you a clear painting of the situation. In fact, you saw the view of the picture from many angles. God showed you why it’s not his will, and where it will land you if you continued to stay in the relationship. His presence penetrated deep into your heart, that you had to stop doing what your were doing to sit still and gather yourself. You felt the ache bearing deep within that you couldn’t rest well at night, or concentrate during the day.  I want to talk about The Temptation of Reliving the Past.

It’s easy to return to the familiar, because you don’t have to put in the work of getting to know someone new all over again. It takes time and patience getting to know someone, which is something you probably don’t have. You’re short on patience. These days, there isn’t much legroom for mistakes. You have probably thought about returning to that person who didn’t appreciate you, than to give some else a chance who would appreciate and deeply love you. You’re ready to write someone off, because again, you don’t have the “patience.” After all, you “know” the person you were with.

To return to what God led you away from is to jeopardize where he wants to take you with the person he has for you. You have to remind yourself why the relationship didn’t work. Besides that you were toxic for each other, there was probably one prominent force at hand that was working against you two. It wasn’t God’s will.  What’s not in God’s will have no chance at life. Of course, you could make it work, but forcing love into the equation where it’s supposed to develop naturally, just isn’t worth it. Your “I love you’s” will have no feeling or passion behind it. And the touch or the holding of hands will not produce any feelings of love, comfort and assurance that this is the person God has for you.  When you step outside of God’s will, you’re forfeiting being valued and appreciated, love and cared for, respected and adored. You’re giving up your sanity/ peace of mind, because faithfulness and commitment will always be called into question when you’re not in that person’s presence. You’re also giving up the chance to build two important foundations a God-ordained relationship should stand on, which are a friendship and a spiritual connection. Without any of these positive components, love has nothing to stand on.

Before you think about reopening a closed chapter, remember why the relationship failed. God led you away from that person for a very important reason. It wasn’t his will. To return to the past is to jeopardize where he wants to take you with the person he has for you. But that page of finding new love can’t be read until you move on from the past.

In my novel Love Again, Jennifer is temped to return to the past but she comes to her senses. Let’s take a look.

Jennifer took a seat, removed her sunglasses, and got right to it.

“Robert, you know how much I still care for you.”

“Oh, here we go,” he complained, interrupting.

 “I’ve thought about you often throughout the years. I’ve often wondered what life would’ve been like if we’d gotten back together again. But after meeting up with you in New York and DC, I admit, some old feelings resurfaced, but they quickly faded away. I don’t feel the same way for you as I once did before.”

“What do you mean?” His nostrils flared up.

“What I’m saying that it’s too late to make up for what happened several years ago,” she said blinking back tears.” Time has passed. I’ve met someone new now, someone who has believed in me since day one, someone who understands me, someone who I pushed away.”

“Like you’re doing to me now?”

“No! I’m not pushing you away. I’m freeing us from one another so that we can be open to experience love from someone else. I’m sorry Robert, but I don’t see myself being with you. I don’t see us getting married.”

Here Jennifer comes to her senses. She remember all that happened in the past, and some people just don’t change. What’s in God’s will has a second chance.

Thank you for reading my blog. I would like to ask you to take a few minutes to check out my video on indiegogo. I’m raising funds to self-publish my novel Love Again.

Here’s the link:  http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/love-again-a-novel-by-melvin-davis/x/6665495

Your donation would help me tremendously, as well as passing on my campaign to your friends.

Thanks in advance.

 

 

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An Open Letter to My Future Wife

 

To My Future Wife,

 

I penned this letter now instead of later, because I want to thank God in advance for you. I already know you’re going to be an amazing woman. You’re going to be exactly what I prayed for. And by the time I meet you, I’m going to be everything you need me to be. So whoever you are, wherever you are, here’s an open letter I want to send to you, for all to see. I know you’ll be a testimony of my patience. I hope that your heart to open to receive these words.

 

I know that you’re probably in another situation now. Maybe you’re trying to work things out with the guy you’re with. Maybe your heart is healing from a terrible breakup, one that you invested a great deal of your time and energy in. Perhaps there are some other personal issues going on in your life, that’s preventing you from walking into mine.  May be we just haven’t met. Whatever that’s going in your life, there’s no rush. God’s timing is perfect. We will grace each other eyes and touch each other’s heart. We will enjoy plenty of days and evenings together, whether conversing about life, laughing about something silly, or doing something we both enjoy. I want you to know, that wherever you are in life, I’m praying for you to experience wholeness. I want you to be complete and happy, full of joy before you meet me. I’m going to look at you as a compliment to my life—only to add to it—never to subtract or divide from it.

 

And you’re not the only who’s being prepared for marriage. While I’m waiting on you, God is shaping me into the man he wants me to be for you: A protector and a provider, a great communicator, and a spiritual leader. He also wants me to be a great lover, a man who can make love to the deepest parts of you, and who can also be intimate without physical touch.  He’s molding me into a man who’s transparent, and vulnerable–vulnerable enough to accept you in my life without reservation of being hurt. He’s building my trust in him, so I can fully trust you, my blessing.

 

I want to end this letter by saying: I look forward to developing a wonderful friendship with you: One that’s based on open and honest communication, trust and prayer. I look forward to learning everything about you. I want to know the woman behind closed doors that many seldom see. I want to know what’s inside your heart, because that’s where your true treasure lies. I want to know what’s in your spirit, because that’s where your true beauty lies. I want to know you before I propose to you.

 

Until we cross paths, don’t rush love. We’ll find each other soon. I know it. I can feel it. I’ll see you soon.

 

David Bradshaw,

 

 

Thank you for reading the introduction of my novel. To listen to the audio version on youtube, here’s the link: http://youtu.be/OVjSamRZUh0

For information about my novel, check out my video below.

 

 

 

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Bringing My Dreams into Fruition, the release of my novel, Love Again

Thanks to all who have liked my FB page: All of my quotes and blogs will be posted on that page for now on. Also, in the upcoming weeks, I’m launching a budget on Kickstarter for the release of my novel Love Again, since I’m self-publishing. Hiring a professional copyeditor (maybe a developmental editor too), and a proofreader will be critical in producing quality work. I want my work to reflect the success I see, and I want you all to receive nothing but the best. The budget will also building a building a website, marketing and advertising materials. A professional photographer and a graphic designer will come in handy in designing my book cover and business cards. I want my website to reflect one of superb quality, and one that communicates the brand I’m trying to articulate. I need your support in fulfilling my vision. I will keep you posted. Thanks for your help.

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The “Friend-Zone” Pt.III: KEEPING IT HONEST!

In part I of this blog, I define what the friend-zone is and five possible reasons why people put their potential love interest there. Part II of this blog, I explained how FEAR AND DOUBT are two contributing factors of why love slipped away from many. You prayed for a particular kind of person, but when you met him or her, you indefinitely “friend-zoned” them, until they eventually left.  In this part, I want to give two reasons why you practice honestly when I comes to matters of the heart.

There’s nothing wrong with having friend’s who are attracted to you. But if you have friend’s that are romantically interested in you, it’s important for them to know where you stand. You want to make sure no one is misled, hurt, or feel like they’re time been wasted due to dishonesty.

If you someone openly expresses romantic feelings towards you, be open and honest about how you view and feel. If a friendship is all you see in someone, communicate that. If there’s a possibility that a friendship could blossom into something more, convey that as well. If you’re really unsure about someone, let that be known too. It maybe difficult to pinpoint or determine what could happen down the road. Anything could happen. However, there are people who already know where things will lead. Be honest and upfront.

Being in the friend-zone is an opportunity for two people to spend time with each other without the pressure of putting on a total front. You have a chance to really feel out if your potential lover is truly the one for you or not. In addition, if you like being around the person for the matter. You have to set aside your emotions and really ask yourself, “Do I like spending time with this person? And do I like talking to them?” If the chemistry and conversation isn’t there, you really don’t have a friendship. And making a commitment to be in a relationship with someone without chemistry and great conversation are like two vegetables sitting across from one another. NO ONE EVER HAS ANYTHING TALK ABOUT. Eventually sex will become a runtime. And lust isn’t a sure foundation to stand on.

If things initially don’t work out between you and someone, here two important benefits of being honest:

  1. A Second Chance. Dishonesty burns the bridge between you and your love interest. If I was misled by someone, and later in the future, she decides to want something romantically with me. I’d pass. If you can’t communicate the truth of how you feel about someone as a friend, how can be trusted as something more?

2. You maintain respect between you and the other person. If love inevitably doesn’t flourish between you and someone, you can remain friends, if you choose to.  You may later discover that you were better off as friends. And why not have that special person in your life than not all. Who knows, you maybe a huge blessing to one another later on in life—which could possibly lead to a second chance.

  

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