When God orders a man steps to pursue a woman, he will be given all the right instructions to make his pursuit a successful one. In return, God will open that woman’s eyes to accept this man as a gift from God, one she should walk down the altar with someday. But it gets better, that man and woman are going posses something with them emotionally and spiritually that’s going to compliment each other. In the case of Adam and Eve, they both had attributes that mirrored each other. You ought to see yourself in the one you will marry, and vice versa, because you are now one.
The list below will slightly reflect the one in The Adam Checklist: What a Woman Should Look For in a Man. So men, as well as women, pay close attention here before you say, “will you” or “I do.”
1. Eve had a relationship with God, which means she had the ability to communicate, listen and spend quality time with Him, more importantly, be faithful. How well a woman communicates and listens to God will be an eye opener to how well she communicates and listens to her man in a relationship. Some women have a tendency to turn to their girl or male friends for advice before seeking God’s. More than likely, that friend will offer advice based upon limited information of the big picture or worse, off the misinterpretation of changes and challenges that arise in a relationship. This is quite dangerous. So, to be on the safe side, seek God’s counsel before seeking mans. The advice from your friend should confirm what God has already placed on your heart.
2. Eve was a woman of purpose. Her purpose was to be a helpmate to Adam, so they could maintain the Garden of Eden and to help replenish the earth by creating life together, i.e., to have children. When you think about it, Eve played a critical role in the redemption of mankind from sin. Jesus lineage can be traced back to Adam and Eve. I’m sure you heard of the theological term, The Second Adam. Please Google it for your own edification.
Pursuing a woman without purpose or a woman, who doesn’t have a desire to know what her purpose is, is to date a woman who will look for you to define and set her worth. It’s not good to be with this kind of woman because she will become possessive and insecure as time progresses in the relationship. She will suffocate you or accuse of cheating when you’re being faithful to her.
Eve was complete and whole within herself because God created Adam as complete and whole. God created a woman who was going to be compatible or self-sufficient in a way that Adam was.
3. Eve had a place to call home. Now, making this historic connection to a contemporary one can be a little tricky here, but let us consider this thought at hand, in terms of independency, and lets keep in mind the concept of “purpose” as explained in characteristic # 2.
A woman with purpose, if she doesn’t have a place to call home already, its an active, sure plan in the making. Translation: a woman with a home is not going to need a man to provide for her because she will be well apt to take care of herself. With that being said, the kind of Eve of today will have her own. When she meets her Adam she will bring something to add to the equation love, not to take away, subtract or destroy.
I often wonder about how many good men who married venomous women. That in the end, everything they loss everything they worked hard for. If anything was leftover, it was found in ruin. Fellas, please don’t make the mistake of marrying the serpent in the Garden. Pray for an Eve, a helpmate.
SN (side note): I pray that God blesses me with an Eve before I acquire whatever God has for me. I think anyone woman who I meet thereafter, I would have an extremely hard time trusting.
4. Eve was responsible. Self-explanatory.
5. Eve was a spiritual leader but knew how to follow the God in Adam…not Adam the man. Now, I know you’re probably asking yourself the question, wasn’t Adam the spiritual leader of their marriage? The answer is YES. But lets look at relationships today. Most women are the spiritual leaders in their relationships instead of their husband, fiancée, or significant other. This is partly due to the fall, as revealed in Gen 3: 15. “And I will put enmity between you and the woman.” In other words, hostility, competition, arguments, distrust, and other hateful elements that could destroy the union between man and woman now exist. Can you imagine a relationship or a marriage without competition, hostility or arguments? Oh, the sound of birds chirping by a peaceful river bank, but lets wake up from our daydream lol.
I believe that God equipped Eve to be a spiritual leader just in case something happened to Adam. When you think of something that’s complete, you think of something that’s whole, something that can maintain or continue the task (s) or purpose that God has set out if some unfortunate events happen. Yes, Adam was a the spiritual leader in their marriage, but God sent Eve was compatible and was on equal ground with him spiritually.
It’s not a woman’s fault today that she has be the spiritual leader of her relationship. It’s partly due to some men lack of spiritual maturity, reverence toward God and his desire to know Him on a more deeper and intimate level. In the long run, no matter how good a man looks to a woman or what career he’s in, a woman also wants a man who is going to the be the spiritual leader of their relationship. She wants to turn to you for prayer in tough times, to help make critical financial decisions, deciding what city or state she wants to raise a family in. A man is to be the foundation that holds everything together with his wife supporting her, not the other way around.
6. Eve was a woman of spiritual discernment. Spiritual discernment is the ability to perceive the truth about something. But why is it important to be in a relationship with a woman who has spiritual discernment?
Pursuing a woman who’s not connected to God is to pursue a woman that’s not spiritually grounded or sound. And if a woman is not spiritual grounded or sound, she will be easily persuaded by popular dating trends of today. SEE THE PREVIOUS NOTE: This kind of woman is not going to have her own identity in Christ. Pursuing a woman taking on different identities of other women she looks up to can be risky. Can you imagine courting or haven been married to someone for years that you actually don’t know. I wonder why???????????
Furthermore, a woman with spiritual discernment is going to help her man make the kinds of decisions I shared in characteristic # 5.
7. Eve was a woman that kept God first. Keeping God first above your heart desires takes a great deal of emotional control and spiritual stability. In sum, you need a great deal of discipline to accomplish this goal. Here are a few reasons why it’s important to be with a woman who keeps God first.
a. A woman who keeps God first will draw her strength to love you from God, not just from herself. Theoretically speaking here, and I may be off or stepping out on a limb when I say this here, but hey, if you get offended, please know it was never my intentions to. Since women are more emotional than men, I don’t think its by coincidence that women become more frustrated or experience burnout in relationships than men because we are rational beings first before we are emotional. When things are falling apart in a relationship, some women have a tendency to panic and overanalyze things way too damn much. While some men seem fine on the surface, not bothered, or even nonchalant about things. More than likely, it’s because we’re spending time processing and analyzing things more systematically instead of emotionally. We don’t allow our emotions to cloud us, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t capable of showing emotion.
SN: Men like myself who have the ability to be both rational and emotional can understand things in a systematic way then talk about it. Whereas, some men are reserved to be just rational, therefore, they will choose not to share and open up or will not speak about the issue because they don’t know how or out of fear women would consider them weak.
As much as I write about love, one would think that I am overly sensitive guy or weak, however, that’s not the case. I emotion when its necessary. For example, when I’m writing, I want you to feel what I feel. In relationships, I show emotion and affection when it’s necessary;) but not 24/7. The rational side of me will say, okay, I need time alone to do other things. Cuddling and being sentimental is good, but too much of this will suffocate me. Us men need space, so don’t take it personal when a guy says I need space…it has nothing to do with you but it has everything to do with processing life at home, at work, etc.
b. A woman that keeps God first is a virtuous woman. A man should want to be with a woman who carries herself in high esteem, with decency and respect. This goes back to a woman knowing her worth.
c. A woman that keeps God first will depend Him for her joy, not necessary her man, why, because us men will fail at loving you at times. This ideology goes back to the possessive and insecure kind of woman.
I know there’s more to explore in-depth, but I didn’t plan writing a dissertation here 🙂
Thanks for your time and by all means, please leave intelligible comments. I encourage them.