love

Single in Public. A Couple in Private

Some relationships are intentionally undefined for the option of having the benefits of it, but not the commitment.–Melvin Davis

Before I get into the message of this message, I pray that you seek God in love life. Who God has for and who you have mind may not align together.  Pray about that person before you get emotionally involve. The common mistake women make is mistaking good sex for love. Men often translate giving gifts to secure a relationship. Lust doesn’t translate into love and It sure isn’t a strong foundation to build a relationship on. Love can’t be purchased at a price. No matter how much you spend on a woman to buy her love, it can’t be bought. You are either renting her or giving her materialistic things instead of giving your time. A women of God isn’t moved by expensive gifts or any gifts if she can provide those things on her own and she knows the love is found in how much time a man spends with her. Quality time is when friendships are developed, respect and faithfulness is established, God is talked about as being first, which in sum, gives love a foundation to stand up on.

Your body is truly a temple. It’s where the Holy Spirit resides. He sends a message to your heart to let you know what’s not of the God the Father. That’s called conviction. God can do more with a heart set on pleasing him than willfully doing your own thing. I encourage you to wait until the day you say, “I do.” You will save yourself from unnecessary soul-ties, regrets and building the foundation of your relationship on premature intimacy. I know this is a challenge, but it’s worth undertaking. God keeps His word. He is not a liar.

Human behavior is intriguing. Through watching dating couples in public I can tell if they have just met, have been dating for a long time, or if they’re in or not in love. I could also see these things in married couples as well. I want o share five ways you can tell you are Single in Public.

1. Spacing

The space couples share between each other is significant. Too much distance sends a message to the person you’re with, and to the public, that you aren’t together. Intimacy is defined as “familiar” or “personal” or “private”. In a relationship, intimacy is an emotional and spiritual sacred connection you share with someone. You are familiar with that person because you intimately know each other. Sex is a form of intimacy, but it’s not the kind I’m talking about. A few synonyms of intimacy are nearness, closeness and inseparable. There’s a sense of warmness and closeness between two couples in public when they are in love. Affection is visible, even if it’s a stroke against the arm, a hand resting on the lower back or a kiss on the lips or the cheek . This is what intimacy looks like in public.

Too much distance, silence, a lack of chemistry and connectivity is either a sign of an emotional or spiritual disconnect. Or worse, the person doesn’t feel the same way you do. Confessing you are in a relationship in secret doesn’t suggest you are in public.

Too much distance is a negative.

2. Body Language.

Every person isn’t “mushy” in public. Some people are uncomfortable with PDA. For others, it takes time to arrive to this point. Another reason could be is self-consciousness.

 Interesting enough, some people or couples care about how they are perceived in public when they show affection. Some men don’t want to be perceived as weak or sensitive. They feel like PDA subtracts from their masculinity. There some women who don’t want to be viewed as clingy or insecure. These are some valid reasons for not showing affection in public.

However, when you are in love, nothing else outside of the sacred union of your relationship matters. You don’t care what others think or have to say about you. Better yet,  you are excited to show that person off. You This is you’re opportunity to share your testimony meeting that special person publicly. Unfortunately, there are dishonest people who are in relationships with God-fearing, faithful and passionately devoted people. Here are two examples that poor body language.

a. If you’re out at restaurant, a cafe, or somewhere sitting down or standing, and an attractive person walks in, and your significant other eyes shift and stay on that person, not only are they acknowledging  their physical attraction, but they’re signal of interest is non-verbally communicated. Or, and I’ve witnessed this happen a lot, a persons entire body will shift in the direction of the person they’re attracted or interested in.  They’re chest or head will slightly turn in their direction. This is simple an invitation communicated with body language. I’ve done this before and saw women respond that way to me. This kind of behavior happening in your relationship is  a no no.

 b. Hands and arms are close to the body.

Couples tend to hold hands in public or intertwine arms when they’re on the same page with each other. But when one person is unfaithful in their heart, their hands will be preoccupied with everything else except the person they’re with. Men will often stuff their hands in their pockets to demonstrate they are not with the woman they’re with. Women will fiddle in their purse. In 2015, both men and women will hop in their phone to respond to text and FB messages, etc. Distance is also created by stepping away.

3. An Improper Introduction.

There’s nothing more awkward and disappointing than meeting your significant friend (s), and you hear, this is _insert name___ , instead of this is my boy or girlfriend, fiancé.  If you’re simply introduced by name without the title, you may want to question the authenticity of your relationship.

There really isn’t an excuse of introducing your significant other by their name only. Love is not absentminded. Love means that you put the person love first. Of course, not above God. When that person is first in your life, they are a priority. You’re always thinking of them. You are thinking of them in private and in public. Being relationship conscious communicates that you are in love. When you are in love, the person you’re introducing significant should know they are more than just a friend.

4.  Flirting

I’m sure you heard the saying, “this is a part of my personality. I’m flirtatious.” Well, there’s a difference between being outgoing, and “friendly” vs flirting. I’m more than glad to break it down for you. I mention earlier love is mindful. Love is also respectful

Given the mindfulness and respect you have for the love of your life, you are aware of how you interact with the opposite sex. It  means you are conscious that  certain behaviors,  interactions and  conversations (in person,  on social media, via text or over the phone) are no longer acceptable.

The absence of respect and mindfulness results to flirting. Flirting unveils that you don’t appreciate the person you’re with and value the relationship you have with them. Flirting furthermore indicates you single and available to entertain someone outside of the relationship. Firing lets the other person know they have a chance.

5. Public Indifference.

It’s amazing how couples treat each other in public. Couples who are truly in love are extremely comfortable in public. They’re very much playful, communicative, affectionate , transparent and respectful. You could literally sense the genuine love they have for each other. Another way to tell if you’re single in public is public indifference.

Public indifference is an opportunity for a significant other to create a riff or conflict to kill PDA . Arguments in public is an excuse to be cold, distant and indifferent so you don’t have to stand near, hold hands or talk.

If these are behaviors of you’ve witnessed in your relationship, its take to pray and have that talk. It’s no a good feeling to feel you are only a couple in private. It’s not fair to you. I pray that you make the wise decisionl

 

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Faith, friendship, Honesty, How to Find Love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, Melvin Davis

Compatibility: What a Woman Longs For

I confess that I’m not a relationship expert, nor do I claim to understand women 100%. I don’t have all the answers. I do ask God for the understanding, knowledge and wisdom of how to court and love the woman He has for me.  This is my way of preparing for marriage. I want the woman I marry to say, “I’m the reason her eyes are filled with contentment, tears of peace and joy. And that her parents, close family members and friends smile, because “I’m in her life.” More importantly, I want to be the reason she looks forward to expressing her love each day. I also pray to be a great husband. I envision teaching my son how to court a woman, and what my daughter should expect when a guy is really into her. I also imagine explaining to them about the man I used to be, and the person I became in Christ, which made it possible to marry their mother, hence, why they exist. I’m advocate that women are one of the greatest gifts to men.

I’m sure all men can say without theory, based on concrete empirical facts of their experiences, women are a little complicated at times. I’m sure the majority of them could agree. I don’t mean this as a negative. I see beauty in woman’s complexities, how her emotions often envelope over one another like water colors on a canvas–yet the picture is still beautiful, transparent and clear–sometimes only understood by the eyes of her lover. How a woman’s mind works with depth, intelligence, humor and spirit, is all a wonder to me. However, no matter how complex some women are, they long for the basic essentials that makes her feel alive, loved, cared for, and like a woman. Let’s go a little deeper to see what I mean that. I suggest reading Proverbs 31 to truly enjoy this ride. As you read, see the kind of man a Proverbs 31 woman could see walking beside.

  1. A Proverbs 31 woman longs for a man who can trust her.

A way to build trust with a woman is to establish an authentic and transparent friendship with her. When you’re getting to know a person, hesitance rises of revealing who you really are. This is the imperfect, flawed person. I understand the temptation of presenting a near perfect, appealing person, but we know that isn’t the case.  You have to keep in mind that people will expect what you’re advertising. Be honest. My motto is: A person may actually like you if they have a chance to know the imperfect you. I understand you may or may not expose certain details about your personal life and relationship experiences, failures, weakness and shortcomings. at first There’s a time and a place to dispense such information. Timing is critical role of how a friendship develops and relationship unfolds. Ultimately, a woman would only get to know and respect you if you’re up front with her. A mature woman isn’t going to judge or look down on you so don’t worry. She wants to see the man who you have evolved and matured into. Personal and spiritual growth is a plus in her eyes. She would appreciate you in the now if she understood your past.

Trust is something a woman wants in a man. It’s impossible to have a relationship without trust. Your trust in her encourages her to be genuine, confident and carefree in your presence and in public.

  1. A Proverbs 31 woman desires a man who’s consistent in doing “good” to her and not harm.

Consistency presents pressure. It means you have to stay on top of doing something over and over to achieve the same results, but this is where God’s power, grace and mercy steps in. This is where it’s important for a man to have a strong relationship with God.

There are days when you’re going to fail at loving, but an understanding, compassionate and self-less woman already understands that. You’re human. She’s human. It’s your effort that moves her, and your desire to consistently love her that makes her smile when she’s thinking of you. Effort simply shows that you care.

The importance of keep God first in a relationship is that He helps to sustain it. He will give you the knowledge and wisdom to love her in a way that’s consistent and effective, if you ask.

A lack of effort and care is what causes her arm. I’m under the belief, and I know this may sound cliche, but hey, it’s true. Women are like plants. You have to water and pay attention to them on a consistent basis. You water a woman with unconditional love, thoughtfulness, adoration, kindness, patience, understanding, etc. See the Fruits of the Holy Spirit in Corinthians.

  1. She wants a man who has a taste for excellence and a strong work ethic.

A taste for excellence represents the quality of your work ethic. In other words, what your purpose is in life, or what is of importance to you. For me, it’s writing and my relationship with God. I put my best into what’s a priority because I want to see great results. Loving a woman works the same way.

When your heart is set on pleasing a woman, you want her to have the best, and you’ll work hard to accomplish those measurable means.

Sometimes giving your best is sacrificing a hobby to spend more time with her, getting up early to exercise with her, lending a helping hand with choirs or dinner.

  1. A woman longs for a man who could enhance or add something to her life–not the opposite.

It’s never a good idea to pursue a woman who wants to experience true love, and you have no intentions of truly loving her. She’s not looking for added confusion or unnecessary pain, if she’s already accompanied by challenges of her own.

Besides having stability and independence into the equation, walk into a woman’s life with a sense of who you are and your purpose. A man with purpose is appealing to a woman with purpose. Also, offer her unconditional love, commitment and the absence of pride and ego.

In order to enhance something, something has to be already there or in a place. A Proverbs 31 woman isn’t looking for a man to define, complete or take care of her. She knows her identity. She is whole, self-sufficient and is able to take care of herself.  Being wooed by monetary means is just an option to her.

  1. A woman longs for a man who can to speak to her mind.

To take a woman outside of her emotions, and into a place she seldom experiences touch, which is in the pacific of her mind, your conversation has to be enriched with something that feathers her interest.

Intimacy happens before any heated moment. In any way am I’m offering advice of how to get a woman in bed. I believe you should wait to share yourself in marriage. However, intimacy begins with conversation. Intellectual stimulation has mental and physical reactions. Romantically, conversation is a way to turn a woman’s wheels upstairs. To have her think, laugh, smile, or consider you for advice, because of your conversation, sketches you into her life as an ideal husband. A woman who thinks long-terms wants have a man she could talk to, and actually enjoy as a person.

If you’re not versed in areas she’s interested in, do the homework. Find out why intrigues her, and meet her there in the given topical conversation. This shows that you she matters to you.

There are five more things I believe a woman longs for…coming up next.

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love

Identifying Someone You’re Not Equally Yoked With, The Introduction

In 2014, it’s becoming more and more difficult to find love. We live in a wave of a “carefree,” “go with the flow” attitude. I would think by the time you approach your late 20’s or early 30’s, that attitude would be abandoned. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Who has time to waste? Anyhow, the carefree, go with the flow attitude means this: “I’m going to date whoever I want to date, although I know you have sincere intentions of being monogamous with me.” If you haven’t come across that person, you may meet the broken wing. This is a person who recently exited a relationship. They’re hurt and broken, but feel a sense of liberation and freedom now that they’re single. The excitement of being back on the market propels them to relive what it feels like to be single again. In other words, it’s time to have “fun” and “to see what’s out there.” This is okay for them, but you have to take charge of your well-being. The result of encountering this person also leads to uncertainty, like the carefree; go with the flow type of person. Their emotions are pulling them in all kinds of different weird directions. Well, maybe weird isn’t a good choice of word. Let’s just say, they’re dealing with the past of who they were with, while trying to remain faithful to their healing process, with great potentials darting their way. It’s about variety and choice here. However, properly healing isn’t in the forefront of their minds.  Practice caution with this person.  You don’t know if they’ll return to the relationship they just left, or if they’re going out with 2 of 3 different people days or worse, sleeping with someone else while entertaining you. Step way. It’s a cold world out there.  Is there any wrong with the broken wing person?  Not necessarily. Who hasn’t experienced brokenness? But, in order to find and experience true love, you have to do it God’s way. Your heart should be turned toward him instead of dating someone else.

Pressure mounts up to find someone you can experience love and life with as time passes. You start to think do you have to settle for the sake of not being alone, even if that means putting up with someone who’s unfaithful to you or will treat you like an option.  If this person is you, come back for the second installment of Identifying Someone You’re Unequally Yoked With. I have a message for you. You don’t have to settle. You don’t have to be anyone’s option. You can stay course of waiting on God to send you someone beautiful and something meaningful. While you’re positioning yourself to find love, I want to share few points that will help you avoid disappointment in the next blog.

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Something about Her

The thought of her is never force down on to paper.

She is the romantic period in this 21st century.

She is suitable like honey is to tea.

A whiff of her spirit is of the finest fragrance: Soft and alluring.

The aesthetic of her being came into existence by the breath of God.

I am made for her.

And she is the perfect gift that stops me from looking any further

She’s everything she needs to be for me.

If she gives me a chance by letting me into her heart, I’ll pluck strings she never knew she had

Her eyes would reflect the blue skies and the brilliance of white clouds in heaven

Her skin would glow like the streets of pure gold

Her hair would shine like the harp in the angels hand

I want to be the reason you glow.

I whispered selah into her ears, but I’m not done

I give you my heart to search

In it, you’ll find  my devotion and faithfulness toward you

Would you back off, because what you discovered, does exist?

Would you tell me I’m too good to be true, and settle for what doesn’t match your love or speaks your love language?

I am the man who wants to master you. I want a doctoral  degree in you. I want to speak and love you fluently

You have my attention

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The Art of Faithfulness and Gratitude Towards a Woman

There’s something about waiting that builds the anticipation of what’s to come. If you find a great woman, never let her go. –Melvin Davis

 

At 33, I move at a slower pace when it comes to getting to know a woman. I move like the tortious because my mind-set on the long run with her. With patience, you see many things you rather see now later. I take my time to pick apart her brain, to page through her spirit, and to take in the beauty of her personality like my favorite dish, to see if this the woman I would enjoy spending the rest of my life with. Patience is the best place you could be in. As mature in my spirit, I look to see what’s in a woman’s spirit. There’s beauty and art there. There are a many experiences that lends to how she think. And in her soul is the wonders her mystery.

It’s amazing to see the gems of a woman through her eyes, the feel the power of her presence when you’re in he presence.  Experiencing a connection like this is hard to find, but worth wait. When I look around and see couples well into their elder years, appearing to enjoy each other like that they first met, inside in my mind, I say, that’s what I want. Thank you God. I give thanks in advance because I know I’m going to experience what they have.

The wait makes me want to be faithful before I find my wife. When browse back at the experiences I’ve had, like failures and past mistakes, I’m thankful that I made them. I’m a different man now. I’m enjoying who I am becoming. I’ve taken my failures and manufactured them to fit the wisdom and knowledge God has endowed me with. I’m glad that I failed in the past. I have the opportunity to proceed forth in courting a woman the right way.

Gratitude is another thought that comes to mind as I anticipate the future. I’ve said this several times, and every now and then, if a conversation warrants it: A woman is one of God’s greatest gifts to man. Yes, her emotions and mood fluctuates. You may see snow in her summer or fall in her spirit. However, I don’t care how interchanging or indecisive she could be, I’d still love her despite unforeseen hail and blizzards. A woman balances a man. She is the equilibrium of his masculinity. A man needs a strong woman who has a soft, feminine touch to make him feel like a man, and vice versa.

The ability and desire to be faithful to a woman should happen before you meet her. I know its ideal to say, “When I find that woman, I’m going to be faithful to her.” Why not be faithful now? I’m sure you’re asking, How’s that possible? How can I be faithful now and I haven’t met her. Here’s how.

In your singleness, God is building particular foundations and characteristic traits in your life to succeed in your purpose. That’s the higher calling on your life. These foundations and characteristics traits are also applicable to the sacred marriage that’s waiting for you. While your being single, God is sending tests your way to see if you’ll remain faithful to Him when you much or when you have nothing. He’ll test you by pushing out into a platform where thousands of women are throwing themselves at you. He’s checking the pulse of your discipline to see how you’re gong to respond to the attention. The attention will still be there when that special woman comes. How are you going to react? Would give into what you can have without effort? Or would be faithful to the queen He’s given you?

In your singleness, God is destroying the old man to create a new man within you. This man is going to value and appreciate the woman He has for you. He’s making you wait so you can cherish and love her. If you look back, you’ll see He allowed you to get cheated, to be misled or go through some stress experience, so you’ll have the ability and develop the desire to be faithful, and so your heart can be filled with gratitude toward her.

Single men, I want you to get excited. Let your hearts fill with joy. I am. Your wife is drawing near as you seek. She’s going to be an attractive, spirit-filled woman.  You’re going to have the desire to wake up every morning with the intention to put a smile on her face every day. You’re going to anticipate spending every second and minute, hour and day, week and years with her. And although you may have some disagreements with her, you’re going to want to talk things out. After all, she the one of a kind that’s hard to find, and plus, she’s your best friend. Best friends are also hard to find.

Your greater is on the way.

 

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The Temptation of Reliving the Past: When Old Feelings Surface

To return to what God led you away from is to jeopardize where he wants to take you with the person he has for you. –Melvin Davis

What do I do now that I’m “single”? is a question many people find themselves asking when they have “moved” on from a failed relationship. You’re somewhat emotionally detached, and you’re somewhat ready to give love through someone new. However, a flashback of the “good times” crosses your mind. Those fond memories emerge with joy, somehow putting a smile on your face, until you think about the toxic and heated arguments, and the intense moments of feeling unappreciated and emotionally and spiritually disconnected. You also remember those signs of unfaithfulness and lies, being ignored and uncared for. You cried next to that person in bed until no more tears could produce from your heart. You’ve talked to so many people about the situation until your mouth grew tired. The truth made itself known to you. And you even prayed about the relationship once more, and God showed you a clear painting of the situation. In fact, you saw the view of the picture from many angles. God showed you why it’s not his will, and where it will land you if you continued to stay in the relationship. His presence penetrated deep into your heart, that you had to stop doing what your were doing to sit still and gather yourself. You felt the ache bearing deep within that you couldn’t rest well at night, or concentrate during the day.  I want to talk about The Temptation of Reliving the Past.

It’s easy to return to the familiar, because you don’t have to put in the work of getting to know someone new all over again. It takes time and patience getting to know someone, which is something you probably don’t have. You’re short on patience. These days, there isn’t much legroom for mistakes. You have probably thought about returning to that person who didn’t appreciate you, than to give some else a chance who would appreciate and deeply love you. You’re ready to write someone off, because again, you don’t have the “patience.” After all, you “know” the person you were with.

To return to what God led you away from is to jeopardize where he wants to take you with the person he has for you. You have to remind yourself why the relationship didn’t work. Besides that you were toxic for each other, there was probably one prominent force at hand that was working against you two. It wasn’t God’s will.  What’s not in God’s will have no chance at life. Of course, you could make it work, but forcing love into the equation where it’s supposed to develop naturally, just isn’t worth it. Your “I love you’s” will have no feeling or passion behind it. And the touch or the holding of hands will not produce any feelings of love, comfort and assurance that this is the person God has for you.  When you step outside of God’s will, you’re forfeiting being valued and appreciated, love and cared for, respected and adored. You’re giving up your sanity/ peace of mind, because faithfulness and commitment will always be called into question when you’re not in that person’s presence. You’re also giving up the chance to build two important foundations a God-ordained relationship should stand on, which are a friendship and a spiritual connection. Without any of these positive components, love has nothing to stand on.

Before you think about reopening a closed chapter, remember why the relationship failed. God led you away from that person for a very important reason. It wasn’t his will. To return to the past is to jeopardize where he wants to take you with the person he has for you. But that page of finding new love can’t be read until you move on from the past.

In my novel Love Again, Jennifer is temped to return to the past but she comes to her senses. Let’s take a look.

Jennifer took a seat, removed her sunglasses, and got right to it.

“Robert, you know how much I still care for you.”

“Oh, here we go,” he complained, interrupting.

 “I’ve thought about you often throughout the years. I’ve often wondered what life would’ve been like if we’d gotten back together again. But after meeting up with you in New York and DC, I admit, some old feelings resurfaced, but they quickly faded away. I don’t feel the same way for you as I once did before.”

“What do you mean?” His nostrils flared up.

“What I’m saying that it’s too late to make up for what happened several years ago,” she said blinking back tears.” Time has passed. I’ve met someone new now, someone who has believed in me since day one, someone who understands me, someone who I pushed away.”

“Like you’re doing to me now?”

“No! I’m not pushing you away. I’m freeing us from one another so that we can be open to experience love from someone else. I’m sorry Robert, but I don’t see myself being with you. I don’t see us getting married.”

Here Jennifer comes to her senses. She remember all that happened in the past, and some people just don’t change. What’s in God’s will has a second chance.

Thank you for reading my blog. I would like to ask you to take a few minutes to check out my video on indiegogo. I’m raising funds to self-publish my novel Love Again.

Here’s the link:  http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/love-again-a-novel-by-melvin-davis/x/6665495

Your donation would help me tremendously, as well as passing on my campaign to your friends.

Thanks in advance.

 

 

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Reminding yourself of what happened in the past could be the barrier that’s standing in between you and what you’re meant to have in your future.-Melvin Davis

The past could seem so near when the hurt and indifference remains so close to your heart in the present. It was, as if “IT,” happened yesterday. And when you move from one chapter to the next, without thoroughly addressing unresolved feelings from an ex or someone you dated, expect contention and confusion, lingering and unanswered questions, and for an explanation to be given if the person wronged you. Remember, how you deal with the past would tell your new love interest how ready you are for love.

So how can you position yourself to meet the right one? This answer is simple, yet tough to put into action. You have to put in the work to want to move forward. You have to be dedicated. The first step in dealing with the past is to:

1. Confess. Be honest with yourself by confessing you still have feelings for someone.
The healing process begins with confession. When you are honest with yourself about you still feel about someone, whether those feelings are fond or indifferent, verbally confess from your heart, how you feel about that person. Confession surfaces the truth from your heart so you can address those unresolved feelings head on.

2. Next, be patient with the healing process.

For many people, healing takes time. Healing may take up to several months, maybe a year or two. For deep emotional attachments, it could take two years or more. Whatever the severity of the emotional attachment, be patient to the healing process. Patience meaning: Allow those feelings run its course. So, if you feeling angry one day, write those feelings down on paper or talk to someone about it. If romantic feelings arise or stir up, do the same.
Telling yourself that yourself that you don’t feel a certain way confuses the heart. But when you are honest with yourself about you feel about someone, the heart opens to change.

Remember, with patience, God can repair your heart, help you see the good of that situation, of how it helped you mature and evolve as a mature man or woman. And as you continue to reflect, you’ll see how close that situation drew you to God. All things do work for the good—no matter how bad it hurt. When God begins to heal you, your heart desires will turn towards what he wants for you.

3. When you’re done healing, embrace the grace period. Meaning, enjoy your time singleness.

Healing is a sign that you have moved on, but it doesn’t necessarily means it’s time to dive into another relationship. It’s important to give yourself time to breath and function in your singleness as an emotionally and mentally clear-headed person. You want to approach life, your new love interest with clarity, a sense of assurance, that you know what you want, and what will and will not work for you. You want to be emotionally and mentally available without reservations of thinking about what someone in the past did you to you. However, I am not suggesting for you to be naïve. Your past could be the barrier that’s standing in between you and what you’re meant to have in your future. Love that is.

The grace period is also a time to refocus and aligned yourself back with God, and to find out what direction he wants you to head in next. The grace period may also be a time for you to seek his will and purpose for you life, if you haven’t discovered it yet already. A time of singleness is a time of preparation.

In my novel Love Again, David Bradshaw, my main character, who’s getting to know his new love interest, Jennifer Washington, is still conflicted and confronted with the past. Let’s take a look.

In this scene, David is opening up to Jennifer about his ex, Maria. What’s in bold is directly from my novel.
David finished telling Jennifer about how he was there for her during some really tough times, like the time he helped her pay for her grandmother’s funeral, edited her research papers and essays while she was graduate student. Even after doing a number of related selfless acts, she was still unappreciative and selfish.

“How did that make you feel?” Jennifer interjected.

“Like loving her was never enough, but it gets better,” David chuckled at the painful memories
.
David recalled how he stayed with her, because he thought things would change between them. However, it was the worse decision that he had ever made. He returned to Venezuela from a book tour to propose to her, and found her on the beach in another man’s arms, kissing him.

“Talk about devastation,” he said, taking a deep sigh.

Jennifer gasped, pressing her hands against her chest. “Wow, David. I’m sorry to hear all of that.”
“It’s ok. I’m over it now.”

“Are you sure?” Jennifer saw his eyes boil, and his face tensed like a lion eyeing its dinner. We don’t have to talk it about anymore if you don’t want to.”

Here’s a flashback David is having while talking to Jennifer.

Strong winds clamored against the vast window, shaking the bamboo blinds. He stood infuriated with his back turned to Maria, watching the lightening flashes across the dark, gray skies. She stood behind the wooden pole with tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, David, but I was never really in love with you like I thought I was. Things kind of changed when you moved here.

You’re such a sweet guy and I mean that but…”

“But what?” David turned around and faced her. “What do you mean you never really loved me—you’re a…” but he caught himself before swearing at her. He vowed to never curse at a woman, but in that heated moment, a bullet from nearly left his verbal chamber.

“I’m sorry, David,”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Maria,” David closed his eyes listening to the raindrops on the windowpane that seemed to get louder as quick as throat dried, and he couldn’t speak anymore

“It’s okay,” David said looking away. “I learned something really important from that situation though.”

I’m sure you can see the contention David is confronted with about his past. And Jennifer has detected some lingering, unresolved feelings.

The past could be the barrier that’s preventing you from meeting the one God has for you. Face the past.