love

Practice now or develop all the qualities you look for in a significant other. A time of singleness is a time of preparation. –Melvin Davis

There are many people out there praying to meet the right person. They are waiting with excitement and patience  for that special person to walk into their life and leave long-lasting, life changing footprints on their heart, deeper, their spirit and soul. But while you’re waiting, here are few things to practice or to pray for while you’re single.

Note: Preparation is key for a successful relationship that will lead to these two special words “I DO.”

  1. Love selflessly. Give and do for others without expecting anything in return. You’ll feel good about yourself. Pay for someone coffee at a café or lunch. Bless someone financially. It doesn’t have to be a lot.  Donate blood. That was my good deed today. My blood type is O negative, so I donate whenever I get a chance.
  2. Faithfulness. How many are you faithful to God?  If you aren’t’ fully committed to God and His will for your life, how can He trust you with His blessings? Life is filled with tests that God situates to see how you would respond. You have to pass the test to advance. But if you fail, God is merciful and filled with grace. You will get a second chance, but treat that second chance like it’s your last.  If He can’t trust you with the blessing, you forfeit all that He wants to give you.
  3. Patience. Lets all take a deep sigh of relief. Patience is a constant struggle for many. As much as blog about being patient for love, I have my moments when I’m impatient. But what I’ve learned about God, when I pray to have great faith and patience, He provides the circumstances to develop it. Someone in your family may be trying your patience or someone on your job. Remember, life is filled with test. This is your opportunity to develop patience so when your future husband or wife does something to offend you or when you’re going through a rough time, patience will be pivotal and the deciding factor if you will get over the hump. Love with patience. Be understanding.
  4. Love is Honest and it is TRUTH! If you can’t practice honesty in small matters as a single man or woman how can you in a relationship? Honesty and truth are foundation of building and having a transparent relationship. Communicate exactly how you feel about certain things, of course in a respectful and sensible way, so that when God blesses you with that special person, you’ll have no difficultly being honest and truthful with that person.
  5. Be Forgiving. Let’s have another deep sigh of relief. If you can’t forgive someone who has offended you, how can you be forgiving in a relationship?  Forgiveness is linked to patience and understanding. Put yourself in the shoes in the person you may have done you wrong to. You’d want to make things right and would want a second chance, right?
  6. Be KindGenerousOpen minded and Flexible. If you’re stubborn and stiff, no one will enjoy your company except those who are like-minded and mirror the same social behaviors. Don’t be a grouch, rude or overly sarcastic. Give someone a compliment. Last week at my job, I was helping this woman out with shoes. When I left to check for her size, something said, “Give her a compliment.” I didn’t have to rationalize about this because she was attractive, but I did because I wasn’t sure how she’d respond.  I didn’t’ want her to think I was hitting on her or was trying to get the digits. Nonetheless, I let the opportunity pass. So I said God, if the opportunity presents itself again to compliment her, I would and it did. I told her she was beautiful. Her face lit up, cheeks blossoming red. She said ‘Thank you. You’re so sweet and handsome. You made my day.” Knowing that I made her day made me feel good.  Her compliment also did some justice 😉  When you give a compliment, you’ll receive a compliment. After she left, about a half hour later, another woman walked in and gave me a compliment.  If you can’t compliment someone while you’re single, what are you chances of complimenting your significant other on a consistent basis? Be kind, generous, open minded and flexible now.
  7. Be Encouraging. Inspire someone else. What a blessing it is for a husband and wife to encourage and inspire each other to go after the things God placed in their heart. I imagine my wife saying “Mel, you haven’t reached your potential yet as a writer after selling millions of copies. Or, babe, I know you can’t find the right words to say depict how character X feels Y, but you can do it. Keep at it. Or, don’t worry about what other people may say, take on that opportunity to be featured on the front cover of GQ magazine.”  Forgive me for my imagination. I always had a peculiar one as kid.

Beside every confident husband is a believing and supporting wife, and vice versa. The sky is the limit for a man when his wife sees and believes in his vision.  Be encouraging now. Inspire someone now so you can in your next relationship.

8. Live a healthy lifestyle NOW. Be Consistent, NOW. Preserve your sexy, NOW. Once you get comfortable in a relationship, that’s not the time to slack or to stop doing the things you did before you met that special person. Eat healthy now and exercise now. If you lose your sexy in the relationship, chances are high to lose the passion and the physical and emotional attraction you had.  I don’t’ know about you, but I’m going to continue to maintain my sexy so I can catch and keep my woman eye. I’m just saying too.

9. Do FUN AND EXCITING THINGS NOW. Self-explanatory.

10. And out of these things, LOVE YOURSELF ! Yes you may suffer from loneliness. That’s natural. You’re human. We’re created to be in and to form relationships. My mantra is: GOD DOESN’T BRING SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE TO COMPLETE YOU, BUT TO COMPLIMENT YOU, TO ADD TO YOUR CUP SO THAT IT OVERFLOWS. If you can’t love yourself, how can you love someone else? You can’t. You’d always feel insecure; never feeling like you can give your best. You can give your best by giving yourself the best and by loving others.

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Practice now or…

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love

The Inspiration Behind My Novel, Poems, Quotes and Blogs. My Love Life and The Other Stuff in Between, Pt. III

I had a divine encounter with someone last week. I told her my story of how I ended up in South Florida. I can’t remember what she said word from word, but she commented on my level of obedience and how good God has been to me by His provision. I truly have many testimonies to share. She said it was refreshing to hear me to talk about my relationship with God. I also open up to her about why God led me to FL: 1) He’s revealed my Calling to me and 2) This is where my writing career will take off but the third reason wasn’t on my mind at the time. I guess I can tell you now: A few months ago, I was dating someone for a brief period. I wouldn’t dare call it a relationship. A friend of mine says the “relationship” title sticks because it was “Facebook official” Lmao but whatever.  While I was dating her, I left South FL to spend time with her. I was even considering relocating. But while I was away with her, I visited a friend church that I went to seminary with. I can’t recall the title of his sermon, but this was the message I received that hit extremely hard to home: “YOU CAN MISS OUT ON GOD’S BEST IF YOU STEP OUT OF HIS WILL.” I lie to you not: I had no peace or comfort. I lost sleep and weight. No disrespect to the woman I was dating at he time because she is truly is a wonderful and beautiful woman. I know the man God has for her will be blessed and vice versa. But I knew in my heart, I would’ve been settling if things had worked out between us. That situation inspired my upcoming podcast: HOW TO TELL IF YOU’RE WITH THE WRONG PERSON. But moving on, after shared the reason God moved me to South FL, the conversation transition to me having children because she made a comment about the luxury of shopping without her kids. I said something along these lines: “I want children, but I’m not in a rush to have any.”  She said, “You don’t wan to wait until old. You’d want to have your energy and vitality. She made ma laugh, not in a negative way, but I said, “well I’m not having children until I get married.” She then says to me:  “She’s coming soon. God is lining up your ducks before she comes.”  This was confirmation. She said “you know we weren’t mean to have this conversation. My answer was “yes.” But here’s where I’m at in my love life”

My love life is nonexistent now, for the reason that it’s not time for me to be in a relationship. I went on a fast the beginning of last month and one of the things I prayed about was a wife. I asked God to send me a woman who I could be friends with first, that would not judge but love me at where I’m in life now, but will see all the great things within me that God will bless me with. I’m sort of like Rory Jansen from the movie The Words, played by Bradley Cooper. I am the aspiring novelist who has dreams of becoming a successful novelist. I want to write for a living, but I also have a divine calling on my life. Pastoring is that calling, but I don’t feel it’s on the level of being the head pastor of a church, but becoming part of a ministerial staff to support the lead pastor. I don’t have a desire for the spotlight. Back to the movie, I watched in disbelief how Dora Jansen, played by Zoe Saldana, supported Rory throughout the duration of his journey. I was thinking to myself, that woman doesn’t’ exist today, but I have that she does.

Before I left work that day, I had one last conversation with this woman. She says to me: “You have a pure spirit. You don’t come with BS.” My reply was.” BS is unnecessary and that time is too precious to waste. I truly try to live life in a positive, God-like way and pursue love with the intention of building something meaningful and long lasting. I believe that’s what the woman saw in me. I was told on another occasion while I substitute teaching. My co-worker, a much older woman said to me out of the blue one day. “You’re going to be a great husband.” I was baffled, wondering what prompt her that to me but I asked how could she tell. She said “ I just know.”

Until then, I will continue to wait on God to ordain my love life. I will continue to be patient and do what I can to prepare for a relationship.

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