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The Inspiration Behind My Novel, Poems, Quotes and Blogs. My Love Life and The Other Stuff in Between, Pt. III

I had a divine encounter with someone last week. I told her my story of how I ended up in South Florida. I can’t remember what she said word from word, but she commented on my level of obedience and how good God has been to me by His provision. I truly have many testimonies to share. She said it was refreshing to hear me to talk about my relationship with God. I also open up to her about why God led me to FL: 1) He’s revealed my Calling to me and 2) This is where my writing career will take off but the third reason wasn’t on my mind at the time. I guess I can tell you now: A few months ago, I was dating someone for a brief period. I wouldn’t dare call it a relationship. A friend of mine says the “relationship” title sticks because it was “Facebook official” Lmao but whatever.  While I was dating her, I left South FL to spend time with her. I was even considering relocating. But while I was away with her, I visited a friend church that I went to seminary with. I can’t recall the title of his sermon, but this was the message I received that hit extremely hard to home: “YOU CAN MISS OUT ON GOD’S BEST IF YOU STEP OUT OF HIS WILL.” I lie to you not: I had no peace or comfort. I lost sleep and weight. No disrespect to the woman I was dating at he time because she is truly is a wonderful and beautiful woman. I know the man God has for her will be blessed and vice versa. But I knew in my heart, I would’ve been settling if things had worked out between us. That situation inspired my upcoming podcast: HOW TO TELL IF YOU’RE WITH THE WRONG PERSON. But moving on, after shared the reason God moved me to South FL, the conversation transition to me having children because she made a comment about the luxury of shopping without her kids. I said something along these lines: “I want children, but I’m not in a rush to have any.”  She said, “You don’t wan to wait until old. You’d want to have your energy and vitality. She made ma laugh, not in a negative way, but I said, “well I’m not having children until I get married.” She then says to me:  “She’s coming soon. God is lining up your ducks before she comes.”  This was confirmation. She said “you know we weren’t mean to have this conversation. My answer was “yes.” But here’s where I’m at in my love life”

My love life is nonexistent now, for the reason that it’s not time for me to be in a relationship. I went on a fast the beginning of last month and one of the things I prayed about was a wife. I asked God to send me a woman who I could be friends with first, that would not judge but love me at where I’m in life now, but will see all the great things within me that God will bless me with. I’m sort of like Rory Jansen from the movie The Words, played by Bradley Cooper. I am the aspiring novelist who has dreams of becoming a successful novelist. I want to write for a living, but I also have a divine calling on my life. Pastoring is that calling, but I don’t feel it’s on the level of being the head pastor of a church, but becoming part of a ministerial staff to support the lead pastor. I don’t have a desire for the spotlight. Back to the movie, I watched in disbelief how Dora Jansen, played by Zoe Saldana, supported Rory throughout the duration of his journey. I was thinking to myself, that woman doesn’t’ exist today, but I have that she does.

Before I left work that day, I had one last conversation with this woman. She says to me: “You have a pure spirit. You don’t come with BS.” My reply was.” BS is unnecessary and that time is too precious to waste. I truly try to live life in a positive, God-like way and pursue love with the intention of building something meaningful and long lasting. I believe that’s what the woman saw in me. I was told on another occasion while I substitute teaching. My co-worker, a much older woman said to me out of the blue one day. “You’re going to be a great husband.” I was baffled, wondering what prompt her that to me but I asked how could she tell. She said “ I just know.”

Until then, I will continue to wait on God to ordain my love life. I will continue to be patient and do what I can to prepare for a relationship.

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Waiting for Love

Sometimes I wonder if I would experience the things I write about

My musing about love is always done out of an act of love—never out of a place of anything less: they are the mediations of my heart and reflections of my desires

Five years of walking on a path of singleness—met some people here and there. but none were meant to have a permanent place in my life

This scenario looks so familiar to me: Her response to my approach, her tone of voice and subtle elusiveness in conversation.

Not investing much emotion into it to protect myself

Not giving much thought it

Not praying about it much

I’ve been there before

I know she is special but I look to God for guidance and direction

You order all the steps in my life—including love

I won’t commit to the pursuit of love until you give me the green light, Until I have your approval

But am I being tested?

Until then, I will continue to wait.

I will continue to be patient

I will continue to put my trust in You

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Update on My Novel

Before I get into what I have to say, I first want thank all who have supported me since day one. I started off posting quotes—really just tampering around with thoughts and feeling but venting from a breakup in 2008. Some of you may remember the short stories I posted on FB. The responses were pretty good considering where I was at in writing. Some of you encouraged me to write a book, and years later, I did. Life puts us in a different direction at times. I never wanted to write a novel. I wanted to be the next Dr. Cornel West….”just sayin.”

Thank you again for waiting patiently for the release my novel. I have worked diligently on Unconditionally Yours (title subject to change) for about two years now or some where around there. It’s difficult writing when life deals you with so many obstacles and unexpected changes and transitions. It’s difficult writing when you’re trying to make ends meet or coming across relationship with people who don’t understand the journey God has placed you on. The road to success is quite lonely, but I am thankful for the family and friends, strangers, well, shall I say angels, who God had me crossed paths with when I felt like giving up. I literally would have a long time ago if he wasn’t for God picking me back up.

My novel has been edited and I’m currently making revisions. I have a friend, writer and editor, by the name of Ariel Driskell, who has helped me shape my story in the direction I want it to be. I thank her for her patience.

Unconditionally Yours has a total of seventeen chapters, and I’m revising twelve while my editor is editing chapter nine. I plan to have my novel proofread before I submit it literally agents. Yes, I’m going the traditional route, so it’s going to take my time to see my novel on the shelves of Barnes & Nobles and other bookstores.

Once again, thanks for your patience and support. I promise you wont’ be disappointed with the finished product. I know it will be a success—it’s just a matter of time.

Until then, I hope you continue to enjoy my quotes and blogs. Stay tuned for my podcasts.

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Making Sure the Door is Closed: Moving on from Your Ex or Your Heart Desire Pt. I

I’ve shared some personal details about my love life with the intent of helping myself heal through my trying moments in life and to let others know they aren’t the only ones that struggle with loneliness and being patient for true love. I’m no way conceited when I say this: Women say to me, “you’re a good-looking guy with his head on straight, why are you single?  Here are three answers: 1) A lot women aren’t honest and straightforward. They usually are talking to someone else on the side or haven’t gotten over their last relationship while trying to pursue something new. I don’t think it’s right to pursue someone because you find someone attractive 2. Some women don’t know who they are, which is fine. We all come into our own at different points in life, but I can’t take the risk of dating someone who may come to the conclusion, that after we invested time into getting to know each other and have committed to a relationship, that she needs to see what’s “out there.” Being single is your opportunity to know who you are, although we may find ourselves out of a hurtful or wonderful relationship. 3. It’s simply not my time (instructions from on high.)

I few months ago I blogged about how I got over the woman I was in love with, the woman who practically inspired many of my poems, blog posts, and some of my novel. The pain from our friendship ending drove me to God. I did get over her, at least I thought I did, until a month ago: sometimes we force our minds to believe we’re over something or someone when our heart is not.

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Developing a Relationship with a Woman

Developing a relationship with a woman starts with an emotional connection. A spiritual connection will bring you closer to her. —Melvin Davis

 I want to say up front before you read further: I am no expert on relationships or women. I simply share my wisdom and musing for encouragement and edification. One of my Facebook friend’s once said, “I speak women.” That comment nearly had me tears lol. My blogs and quotes are inspired by past experiences. Other things I’ve written about, I believe, came to me by a way of prayer. Although I am single, and not married yet, I often pray to be a great husband to my future wife. In a way, as I continue to develop patience for love, the challenges I encounter, meanwhile, teaches me about manhood, and developing spiritual maturity. I want to be prepared for my wife. I also want a have good understanding about women before I meet the love of my life. That’s just me.

Since women are, by nature, emotional beings, you have to connect with her emotionally to develop an intimate relationship with her. An emotional connection can be established by being vulnerable and transparent. Yes, you will find women who are guarded because they have been hurt in the past, or for the reason they want to know if you could be trusted. A woman wants to know, that if she places her heart in your hands, would you break it? Would you mistreat her after you’ve worked hard for her time and affection? Would go from the charming to a mean and nasty one? Would you put smiles on her face instead of tears coming from her eyes? In order to gain a woman’s trust, she has to see who you really are, which calls for a man to be vulnerable and transparent. Vulnerability and transparency opens up the lines of good and honest heart-to-heart conversation. By a man revealing depths of him, whether being spiritual or in the natural, a woman has a chance to see sides of him he seldom shows to anyone. At this point, she actually has the opportunity to determine your worthiness or not.

Though vulnerability and transparency births great conversation, a spiritual connection with a woman will bring you closer to her (depending on the type of woman she is). Praying with a woman and sharing your relationship with God with her is an intimate moment that will inch you closer to her Because when you Incorporate prayer and share your personal relationship with God, a woman gets a chance to see how you handle adversity and respond to life challenges, thus, she will see your true strength: Women to feel secure by a man being a responsible man and a spiritual leader.

Whether she tells you or not, a woman wants to see how you would handle problems that arise in a relationship, because there will be some, no matter how good of a saint you are or claim to be. A woman wants to see how you would act when you’ve lost your religion and when the cloak of holiness fell off.

They are more ways of developing a relationship with a woman to explore, but I felt expounding on the emotional and spiritual aspect is a good start.

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When you know who you are and love who you are, you know what you have to offer in a relationship. The former and the latter will give you insight to see who can and who cannot appreciate or comprehend your value. Continue to be patient. –Melvin Davis

When you know who you are…

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The Inspiration Behind My Writing

Creativity is a gift; a thing without shape. It’s the spirit of inspiration. The experiences we acquire throughout life is the flesh, the thing that makes the inspiration real, felt once it’s created. –Melvin Davis

If this blog post burns any bridge between any potential lover and I, aware and unaware, then so be it. When I write, I can’t help but to be candid and honest. It’s what aim for as an aspiring novelist. Whether a writer chooses to disclose what inspires them to write is their choice. I’m a man of empathy: what I love about writing is being able to have a spiritual, intellectual and emotional connection with my readers. I want them to feel what I feel and see what I see whatever it is that I’m writing.

Subliminally, in many of my blogs and poems, except the borderline erotic ones, I’ve hinted to who inspires me to write. Note: the poems I write that are erotic, never comes from a place of lust, but from a place of expressing how I would engage my future wife. But I understand the difficulty for many religious and “holy” people to discard lovemaking, openly, from their conversation.  Of course, if I were married, or seriously courting someone or dating, the intimacy of what she and I would share would no be up for entertainment. Lovemaking is a sacred. I totally agree. My borderline erotic poems are sincere creative sacred expressions. Not trash. But back to the point: I never envision expressing myself through words and being this quite transparent. As a child, I was very imaginative and creative. I enjoyed drawing however in my adulthood life, drawing left my creative landscape. Words and images have become my medium from which I express myself artistically but there’s someone I met sometime ago, in addition to studying philosophy and a breakup that really influenced my writing.

There are some people we meet in life that will have a long lasting impact on us. There was a woman I met about two years ago. Instantly I felt something strong about her. She had beauty that extended with balance: physically, intellectually, and spiritually. She had a wonderful personality. All of those things I saw and discerned in her were gathered from conversation. Long story short: If you have read my blogs on being patient for love, seeking your purpose before seeking love, you’ll see where the inspiration from those blogs come from: my impatience and lack of self-love ruined the friendship this special woman and I had.

Since then, a great deal of time had passed. I’m not same person she met two years ago. What still remains the same are the feelings I have for her. Trust me when I say this, and I’ve actually share this with her while we were friends: I tried praying my feelings away because I didn’t have the patience to let whatever was going to unfold, unfold. Yes, I’ve dated other women since then. A good portion I shall say, but not with hopes of getting over her, instead to prove to others and myself that could move on and be open to love coming from someone else. In other words, the world didn’t stop because of what I felt and feel for her. But besides having feelings for her, God tells me to focus Him and writing and to be patient for love. So here I am, single and not involved with anyone.

Since the feelings I have for her continue to stay, subconsciously, my mind and my heart transcends thoughts and feelings for her into art. The height of feeling the way I did and do for her inspires to me write about love because I am still in love with her. In a way, a part of me wonders would I write with such passion, with such transparency and vulnerability. If I were to no longer feel what I feel for her or desire her, would I still write the way I do about love? To be honest, I don’t have an answer for that question. Even when the pain was there, when I couldn’t forgive myself for my mistakes, I still wrote with passion. It’s interesting how when our friendship ended, I began writing my novel and going through my personal and spiritual transformation that was need to mold and shape a better me.

I will not say her name out of respect and for her privacy; she is the inspiration behind my writing. In fact, my love for her inspired me to write poetry. The first poem I ever wrote was, This is What She Do Me. I gave her this poem and she enjoyed. Said she would frame it. That feeling felt good, but what really touched me was that she appreciated the words I used to paint a picture of how I perceived and felt about her. I believe any artist would like to have their work understood, felt and appreciated.

I don’t know how this feeling for her would last or would change if I met someone else. Either way, I’d still write with passion and vigor. So until then, I’m going to harness all the inspiration I can about her to paint portraits with words.

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