Have you ever met a man you thought was the one you dreamed of or read about in a romance novel? He’s intelligent, physically fit, goal oriented, ambitious, financially secure, has great ethical standards and morals, and the bonus…a man who’s knows what love is and what he wants out of a relationship. But after a few months of dating him, he let’s you go –giving you no clear indication why he did. Now here you are, heartbroken, conversing with your girlfriends over brunch, trying to figure out what went wrong. More than likely, the issues weren’t your looks or how well you performed in bed or what kind of job, car or house you had. Here are three possible reasons why he’s not your man.
I’ve dated women who were extremely attractive and had a great personality. These characteristics were good for the sake of hanging out or being friends, but they weren’t good enough for me to commit. I saw that, because they didn’t know themselves well, their interest for me was based solely on what they saw on the surface. If a man can sense that you don’t know who you are, he’s going to feel that you don’t have a clear idea of what you’re looking for, and that your love and interest for him cannot go beyond the surface. I’m under the impression that the better understand YOU, you’d have a better idea of what you’re searching for, and a better chance of offering someone something other than good looks or good sex. You’ll also become better at gaging what will and will not mesh well with your personality, standards, lifestyle and personal beliefs.
It’s not a coincidence that all of a sudden, after being with your significant other for a year or two that you feel the need to discover what else is out there. I’m sure you all heard of that infamous excuse before, which in reality is a plausible one. People, who have this kind of epiphany, are really communicating: “Hey look, I don’t quite know who I am, therefore I need to experience life a little more to discover me”. When you don’t know who you are, you can’t commit or give yourself wholly to a person because, you’re still trying to figure out who you are. I’m not with the women of my past because, I wouldn’t have felt secure with them in my future. Security and assurance comes before commitment.
The other reason why your man may have walked away from is because you were impatient. Everyone has a list of qualities they want their significant other, potential husband or wife to have, and that laundry list may run something like this:
1) He or She has to be this tall, this toned, weigh this much and look this or that way.
2) Your potential lover must have this kind of job or this kind of bank account.
3) Be a man or woman of faith.
4) Have a great personality, etc., but have you thought about adding patience to your list?
Patience can either make or break a relationship in matter of seconds or even it’s potential before it could even happen, regardless of how good-looking you are. For me, impatience is a major turnoff. When a woman feels the need to pressure me to be with them, I feel…
1) they’re afraid another woman may step in. Insecurity never works.
2) They’re afraid to be alone. I understand that we all get a little lonely at times. I mean, hey, human beings are created to love, however, neediness is never attractive.
3) Have a now or never approach. I like to call this kind of woman the “end of days” woman, because she doesn’t believe in cultivating a relationship today so there can be a tomorrow. Love can happen instantly, like at first sight, but it’s still gradual. Love takes time to grow and a friendship is a wonderful seed to grow it. Impatience will always affect the natural flow things.
The last reason why I think your last man cut ties with you: he felt youdidn’t know what love was. You see, for men, committing to something or someone has to make sense in our minds. You have to keep in mind that we’re rational beings. If we feel that you cannot make sense in our future, they will be no present. Whenever I asked the women I dated in the past what was they’re definition of love was, a lot of their answers were that it’s something emotional. If love is only an emotion, what happens when you don’t feel love or loved? There will be unseen and seen challenges that arise in relationships that won’t make you feel like loving. What if I did something un-intentionally to offend or upset you? Would that be the end of the relationship?
Perfection doesn’t exist. Love is not only emotional; it’s also rational and spiritual. Love experienced at a spiritual level makes a friendship that much meaningful—thus making the relationship that much powerful.
They are various reasons why men walk away from women, but these are reasons coming from a man who knows who he is, who knows what love is, and that it takes patience and understanding for a relationship to work.
Here’s the link to the article: http://ownyourpower.biz/blog/2012/09/14/why-im-not-your-man-by-melvin-davis/