I rather capture your heart and mind than catch your eye.-Melvin Davis

 

When you haven’t experienced a deeper level of love, physical attraction speaks in high volumes, and is first over the underlying important tangibles that sustain love. Love is more than just physical attraction. I’m not suggesting that it doesn’t matter. The reality is that good looks don’t always translate into love, faithfulness or respect. More often, it’s the opposite. When you experienced a deeper and greater depth of beauty in someone else, your definition and views of attraction expands. It changes and evolves into something more realistic, mature and meaningful.

A spiritual, soulful connection is more powerful than physical attraction. There’s something ethereal about a spiritual, soulful connection. Imagine looking at a book without words. The page is bare, yet you could feel something surging inside of you that sing the tune of your heart. And that escorts your spirit to tropical islands and into heavenly realms. You can’t see the words, yet you feel them. You can’t see the words, yet you see the image that’s being painted in your mind. It’s perfect. A masterpiece. A spiritual, soulful connection works the same way. You could sit in each other’s presence, and communicate without words; touch without holding hands, because the love that’s nettling you two closer together resides under the coat of your skin.

I rather capture a woman’s heart and mind, now to add, spirit than her eye. Physical attraction withers away everyday, and an unforeseen freak accident could happen. If I won her over good looks, well, there’s go her interest and the relationship. But if she found beauty in my heart, mind and spirit, I know she’ll stay. I’ve found a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.

Stay tuned for another upcoming short blog called The Beauty of Imperfections  

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A Deeper Attraction

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I have 28 days left to reach my funding goal on indigogo to self-publish my novel Love Again. If you would like to contribute, watch my video.

Thanks for your support.

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An Open Letter to My Future Wife

 

To My Future Wife,

 

I penned this letter now instead of later, because I want to thank God in advance for you. I already know you’re going to be an amazing woman. You’re going to be exactly what I prayed for. And by the time I meet you, I’m going to be everything you need me to be. So whoever you are, wherever you are, here’s an open letter I want to send to you, for all to see. I know you’ll be a testimony of my patience. I hope that your heart to open to receive these words.

 

I know that you’re probably in another situation now. Maybe you’re trying to work things out with the guy you’re with. Maybe your heart is healing from a terrible breakup, one that you invested a great deal of your time and energy in. Perhaps there are some other personal issues going on in your life, that’s preventing you from walking into mine.  May be we just haven’t met. Whatever that’s going in your life, there’s no rush. God’s timing is perfect. We will grace each other eyes and touch each other’s heart. We will enjoy plenty of days and evenings together, whether conversing about life, laughing about something silly, or doing something we both enjoy. I want you to know, that wherever you are in life, I’m praying for you to experience wholeness. I want you to be complete and happy, full of joy before you meet me. I’m going to look at you as a compliment to my life—only to add to it—never to subtract or divide from it.

 

And you’re not the only who’s being prepared for marriage. While I’m waiting on you, God is shaping me into the man he wants me to be for you: A protector and a provider, a great communicator, and a spiritual leader. He also wants me to be a great lover, a man who can make love to the deepest parts of you, and who can also be intimate without physical touch.  He’s molding me into a man who’s transparent, and vulnerable–vulnerable enough to accept you in my life without reservation of being hurt. He’s building my trust in him, so I can fully trust you, my blessing.

 

I want to end this letter by saying: I look forward to developing a wonderful friendship with you: One that’s based on open and honest communication, trust and prayer. I look forward to learning everything about you. I want to know the woman behind closed doors that many seldom see. I want to know what’s inside your heart, because that’s where your true treasure lies. I want to know what’s in your spirit, because that’s where your true beauty lies. I want to know you before I propose to you.

 

Until we cross paths, don’t rush love. We’ll find each other soon. I know it. I can feel it. I’ll see you soon.

 

David Bradshaw,

 

 

Thank you for reading the introduction of my novel. To listen to the audio version on youtube, here’s the link: http://youtu.be/OVjSamRZUh0

For information about my novel, check out my video below.

 

 

 

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 Many make decisions of being with someone based upon what a person doesn’t have in the present, that they miss an opportunity to experience love with them in their success. —Melvin Davis

Love is something that is felt and experienced deep within, yet so many people miss out on the love of their life by drawing conclusions based upon what they see on the surface.  So man people are looking for something meaningful with a surface-like perspective on life and people. I hear so many women say I won’t date this or that guy if doesn’t have it altogether, of if he doesn’t have this or that thing. And so many men overlook women because they don’t dress a particular way. It’s important to keep in mind, that the person who is walking with God, who knows what their purpose and passion is, and is actively pursuing it, will not go without certain necessities for long.

I strongly believe, that if the person you have your eyes set on, cannot see what God has placed in you and where He’s taking you, is not meant to be a part of your destiny. They will not be able to the handle magnitude and the influence that will come once you’re in the place of success, so don’t take it person when you’re overlooked or discounted.

Material possessions won’t guarantee longevity in a relationship or a successful marriage. It is God who brings two people together and His presence in the union that will sustain a successful relationship or marriage.

Many make decis…

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Update on My Novel

Before I get into what I have to say, I first want thank all who have supported me since day one. I started off posting quotes—really just tampering around with thoughts and feeling but venting from a breakup in 2008. Some of you may remember the short stories I posted on FB. The responses were pretty good considering where I was at in writing. Some of you encouraged me to write a book, and years later, I did. Life puts us in a different direction at times. I never wanted to write a novel. I wanted to be the next Dr. Cornel West….”just sayin.”

Thank you again for waiting patiently for the release my novel. I have worked diligently on Unconditionally Yours (title subject to change) for about two years now or some where around there. It’s difficult writing when life deals you with so many obstacles and unexpected changes and transitions. It’s difficult writing when you’re trying to make ends meet or coming across relationship with people who don’t understand the journey God has placed you on. The road to success is quite lonely, but I am thankful for the family and friends, strangers, well, shall I say angels, who God had me crossed paths with when I felt like giving up. I literally would have a long time ago if he wasn’t for God picking me back up.

My novel has been edited and I’m currently making revisions. I have a friend, writer and editor, by the name of Ariel Driskell, who has helped me shape my story in the direction I want it to be. I thank her for her patience.

Unconditionally Yours has a total of seventeen chapters, and I’m revising twelve while my editor is editing chapter nine. I plan to have my novel proofread before I submit it literally agents. Yes, I’m going the traditional route, so it’s going to take my time to see my novel on the shelves of Barnes & Nobles and other bookstores.

Once again, thanks for your patience and support. I promise you wont’ be disappointed with the finished product. I know it will be a success—it’s just a matter of time.

Until then, I hope you continue to enjoy my quotes and blogs. Stay tuned for my podcasts.

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The Workings of a Happy Woman: Keeping a Smile on Her Face. Be Present Pt. II

Apathy is one way to lose a woman’s interest, for another man to take her heart. —Melvin Davis

We often underestimate how important presence is in a relationship. It’s something that will determine the success and failure of it. And I believe it’s important for a man to know another way to be present with his woman other than physically. Emotional presence is what I want to explore in this blog. If you read part one of The Workings of a Happy Woman, I touched on an intimate moment such as foot washing. Foot washing is one way to relieve a woman from stress after a long day of work and to stir her loving. It’s also a way to engage her in conversation, this emotional presence.

Picking up where I left off in part one, after you’re done washing her feet, the next necessary course of action is to talk to her while you’re massaging and kissing her legs softly. Here, you can journey into the inner parts of her mind to find out how she’s feeling about life, you and the relationship, her job, the future, things she wanted to talk about with you but hadn’t had the chance too, and all other things that are pertinent to her. Empathy and sympathy is, in my opinion, the key to emotional presence.

Empathy is something I believe all women yearn for from a man. Empathy lets a woman know you have the ability to understand her as she confides in you. Understanding allows you to get under the sheet of her emotions so that when you make love to her, she’ll be engaged in mind, body and soul—thus making the climatic moment a memorable one. However, one thing that will definitely turn a woman off is a man’s inability to sympathize with her. When you fail to listen to her as she shares the matters of heart with you, or just in simple conversation—is that it’s going to send signal to her the you lack interest, care and concern. If you want another man to take your woman from you or lose interest in you, this is the way to go. Compassion will take you a long way.

As you continue to massage and kiss her legs, her thighs deserve the same attention. Stay tuned for part III.

 

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Why I’m Not Your Man

Have you ever met a man you thought was the one you dreamed of or read about in a romance novel?  He’s intelligent, physically fit, goal oriented, ambitious, financially secure, has great ethical standards and morals, and the bonus…a man who’s knows what love is and what he wants out of a relationship. But after a few months of dating him, he let’s you go –giving you no clear indication why he did. Now here you are, heartbroken, conversing with your girlfriends over brunch, trying to figure out what went wrong.  More than likely, the issues weren’t your looks or how well you performed in bed or what kind of job, car or house you had. Here are three possible reasons why he’s not your man.

I’ve dated women who were extremely attractive and had a great personality. These characteristics were good for the sake of hanging out or being friends, but they weren’t good enough for me to commit. I saw that, because they didn’t know themselves well, their interest for me was based solely on what they saw on the surface. If a man can sense that you don’t know who you are, he’s going to feel that you don’t have a clear idea of what you’re looking for, and that your love and interest for him cannot go beyond the surface. I’m under the impression that the better understand YOU,  you’d have a better idea of what you’re searching for, and a better chance of offering someone something other than good looks or good sex. You’ll also become better at gaging what will and will not mesh well with your personality, standards, lifestyle and personal beliefs.

It’s not a coincidence that all of a sudden, after being with your significant other for a year or two that you feel the need to discover what else is out there. I’m sure you all heard of that infamous excuse before, which in reality is a plausible one. People, who have this kind of epiphany, are really communicating: “Hey look, I don’t quite know who I am, therefore I need to experience life a little more to discover me”. When you don’t know who you are, you can’t commit or give yourself wholly to a person because, you’re still trying to figure out who you are. I’m not with the women of my past because, I wouldn’t have felt secure with them in my future.  Security and assurance comes before commitment.

The other reason why your man may have walked away from is because you were impatient. Everyone has a list of qualities they want their significant other, potential husband or wife to have, and that laundry list may run something like this:

1) He or She has to be this tall, this toned, weigh this much and look this or that way.

2) Your potential lover must have this kind of job or this kind of bank account.

3) Be a man or woman of faith.

4) Have a great personality, etc., but have you thought about adding patience to your list?

Patience can either make or break a relationship in matter of seconds or even it’s potential before it could even happen, regardless of how good-looking you are. For me, impatience is a major turnoff. When a woman feels the need to pressure me to be with them, I feel…

1) they’re afraid another woman may step in. Insecurity never works.

2) They’re afraid to be alone. I understand that we all get a little lonely at times. I mean, hey, human beings are created to love, however, neediness is never attractive.

3) Have a now or never approach. I like to call this kind of woman the “end of days” woman, because she doesn’t believe in cultivating a relationship today so there can be a tomorrow. Love can happen instantly, like at first sight, but it’s still gradual. Love takes time to grow and a friendship is a wonderful seed to grow it.  Impatience will always affect the natural flow things.

The last reason why I think your last man cut ties with you: he felt youdidn’t know what love was.  You see, for men, committing to something or someone has to make sense in our minds. You have to keep in mind that we’re rational beings. If we feel that you cannot make sense in our future, they will be no present. Whenever I asked the women I dated in the past what was they’re definition of love was, a lot of their answers were that it’s something emotional. If love is only an emotion, what happens when you don’t feel love or loved?  There will be unseen and seen challenges that arise in relationships that won’t make you feel like loving. What if I did something un-intentionally to offend or upset you? Would that be the end of the relationship?

Perfection doesn’t exist.  Love is not only emotional; it’s also rational and spiritual. Love experienced at a spiritual level makes a friendship that much meaningful—thus making the relationship that much powerful.

They are various reasons why men walk away from women, but these are reasons coming from a man who knows who he is, who knows what love is, and that it takes patience and understanding for a relationship to work.

Here’s the link to the article: http://ownyourpower.biz/blog/2012/09/14/why-im-not-your-man-by-melvin-davis/

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