love

Finding Love in Your Purpose

The love of your life has to fit beside you in your purpose and never in the back of you because of their insecurities with who they are for the simple fact they don’t know who they are. –Melvin Davis

Many us are called to play a critical role in our communities and societies at large. Whether a pastor/preacher, professor, scientist, musician, artist, poet, writer, psychologist, social worker, medical doctor, beautician or any other professions that lends its self to aid the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual alignments from those who suffer pain or low self-esteem. Or to the entrepreneur or businessman who aims of getting out of poverty, not for the sake of experiencing financial freedom, but to break generational curses of their families, to raise a standard that would flagship the legacy of their families and culture generations to come, these are all purposes in which people have been called to do, and love plays a critical role within the midst of their purpose.

A few days ago I left the house asking God to speak to me through something or someone, or to make His presence felt. This is pretty much a daily routine for me. Where I’m currently living now, I have been sent here for a reason, and it’s important for me to stay spiritually focus so I don’t miss out on that reason. Getting side tracked comes has great consequences…been there and done that Anyhow, a few days ago, I found myself ministered to in GNC .A few questions about a product turned an hour and half conversation about my purpose in life. I was in awe for a few moments during and after our conversation, but I remembered the prayer I prayed before heading out the door that morning, In short, she told me to focus on God, myself and my novel, and not concerned myself with love because it’s not the time to. She also shared that if I felled to disobey God’s instructions, I could miss out what He really has for me. In sum, disobedience can grant you second best. She also confirmed things that were spoken over my life, in terms of the success of writing career, other things I have been called to do, and what put a smile on my face, having the option to choose and not being an option.

Because you’ve been called to do something that comes with great responsibility, if you haven’t found love yet, there’s a reason. Your focus should be on God, you and accomplishing that great task. I believe you will find love once you have fully committed yourself to your purpose or when you’re walking in it. Your purpose will introduce you to a different lifestyle and different people, hence, love. People feel you should be in a relationship because of what they perceive about you on the outside. But, you have to keep in mind that your life and purpose is different from the next man or woman. Never allow the pressure of family and friends to push you into a relationship. They may not understand what you’ve been set aside to do.

The love of your life has to fit beside you in your purpose and never in the back of you because of their insecurities with who they are for the simple fact they don’t know who they are.

Let love find you on your way into your destiny or once you get there.

 

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My Proposal

Magnificent you are; you are the most beautiful woman my eyes have seen, the most beautiful voice my ears have heard. “Where are you from?” I continue to ask myself

Your spirit, so gentle, so pleasant, so sweet, so pure, so full of faith, so full of God, it speaks the same language of faith as mine. You are my true connection, my equal

I’d be honor to take you by the hand, to kneel at your precious feet, and utter these words that stems from my heart, soul and spirit:

I would love to spend the rest of my life with you

My faithfulness resides in the fact, that you are a gift from God, therefore you are a blessing I cannot take for granted

I want to be your best friend, you’re greatest lover.  I want the honor to be both

I want to love you until the day I see wrinkles on your face. I want to sit with you under the sun, in the cool breeze of night, feeling the mist of rain on our aces in a storm, recounting the day I first met you

But in our youth, let us enjoy these moments as if it was our last. Let us travel the world, photograph each other and monuments, and make love in intimate spaces. May I have that honor?

You are the woman I want to share my life and blessings with, to grow together in our faith and purpose in God

I would be honored to be your husband, and for you, to be my wife

Will you marry me?

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The Inspiration Behind My Writing

Creativity is a gift; a thing without shape. It’s the spirit of inspiration. The experiences we acquire throughout life is the flesh, the thing that makes the inspiration real, felt once it’s created. –Melvin Davis

If this blog post burns any bridge between any potential lover and I, aware and unaware, then so be it. When I write, I can’t help but to be candid and honest. It’s what aim for as an aspiring novelist. Whether a writer chooses to disclose what inspires them to write is their choice. I’m a man of empathy: what I love about writing is being able to have a spiritual, intellectual and emotional connection with my readers. I want them to feel what I feel and see what I see whatever it is that I’m writing.

Subliminally, in many of my blogs and poems, except the borderline erotic ones, I’ve hinted to who inspires me to write. Note: the poems I write that are erotic, never comes from a place of lust, but from a place of expressing how I would engage my future wife. But I understand the difficulty for many religious and “holy” people to discard lovemaking, openly, from their conversation.  Of course, if I were married, or seriously courting someone or dating, the intimacy of what she and I would share would no be up for entertainment. Lovemaking is a sacred. I totally agree. My borderline erotic poems are sincere creative sacred expressions. Not trash. But back to the point: I never envision expressing myself through words and being this quite transparent. As a child, I was very imaginative and creative. I enjoyed drawing however in my adulthood life, drawing left my creative landscape. Words and images have become my medium from which I express myself artistically but there’s someone I met sometime ago, in addition to studying philosophy and a breakup that really influenced my writing.

There are some people we meet in life that will have a long lasting impact on us. There was a woman I met about two years ago. Instantly I felt something strong about her. She had beauty that extended with balance: physically, intellectually, and spiritually. She had a wonderful personality. All of those things I saw and discerned in her were gathered from conversation. Long story short: If you have read my blogs on being patient for love, seeking your purpose before seeking love, you’ll see where the inspiration from those blogs come from: my impatience and lack of self-love ruined the friendship this special woman and I had.

Since then, a great deal of time had passed. I’m not same person she met two years ago. What still remains the same are the feelings I have for her. Trust me when I say this, and I’ve actually share this with her while we were friends: I tried praying my feelings away because I didn’t have the patience to let whatever was going to unfold, unfold. Yes, I’ve dated other women since then. A good portion I shall say, but not with hopes of getting over her, instead to prove to others and myself that could move on and be open to love coming from someone else. In other words, the world didn’t stop because of what I felt and feel for her. But besides having feelings for her, God tells me to focus Him and writing and to be patient for love. So here I am, single and not involved with anyone.

Since the feelings I have for her continue to stay, subconsciously, my mind and my heart transcends thoughts and feelings for her into art. The height of feeling the way I did and do for her inspires to me write about love because I am still in love with her. In a way, a part of me wonders would I write with such passion, with such transparency and vulnerability. If I were to no longer feel what I feel for her or desire her, would I still write the way I do about love? To be honest, I don’t have an answer for that question. Even when the pain was there, when I couldn’t forgive myself for my mistakes, I still wrote with passion. It’s interesting how when our friendship ended, I began writing my novel and going through my personal and spiritual transformation that was need to mold and shape a better me.

I will not say her name out of respect and for her privacy; she is the inspiration behind my writing. In fact, my love for her inspired me to write poetry. The first poem I ever wrote was, This is What She Do Me. I gave her this poem and she enjoyed. Said she would frame it. That feeling felt good, but what really touched me was that she appreciated the words I used to paint a picture of how I perceived and felt about her. I believe any artist would like to have their work understood, felt and appreciated.

I don’t know how this feeling for her would last or would change if I met someone else. Either way, I’d still write with passion and vigor. So until then, I’m going to harness all the inspiration I can about her to paint portraits with words.

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I’m Ready for Love

I left work Saturday exhausted and tired–ready to hop in the bed, but as soon as I pulled up in front of my place, I received a call from work. I found out one of my clients haven’t received what she ordered. As pissed off as I was about driving back to work, I reserved a piece of mind to think there was another reason for driving back on 495. And there was.

On 495, I saw the same sign I’ve seen for the past few weeks–maybe about a month or so now. I really didn’t think much of it other than more confirmation so I couldn’t second, third or fourth-guess the upcoming transition I need to make. But driving back home from work, I saw the same sign again. However, this time, I felt something different, and here it is:

Giving the signs I’ve received, It was clear on the decision I needed to make, but my mind didn’t quite catch-up with my revelation. However, at that moment, while I was driving, and now that I think of, not being able to rest well in the past few days, I felt a surge of energy of readiness. As in, I’m really ready to make this transition. But relevant to the topic at hand, I also felt I was finally ready for Love. I really wasn’t expecting this epiphany. It was like a sigh of relief, an open clearance to have someone in my life again, as friend and lover.

It’s funny how when you don’t look for love because you have developed the patience for it and have focused on your purpose in life, timing will shift you in place to receive it. Timing is truly everything. I feel ready and confident, ready to be fully open and available to let someone in. I haven’t been able to say this in a long time, but I’m ready for love.

I’m excited for what this new chapter will offer in life.

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How to Win Your Woman Back Pt. II

The faith you have in having another chance with this special woman must match the level of patience. So if your faith is great, so must your patience be. You have to be patient enough to allow God to ordain the time and place of when you will cross paths with her again. Getting involved in divine affairs will only cause delays and further disappointment.  Practice patience, and here’s why in the next step.

6. While you’re being patient for God to intervene on your behalf, ask Him to order your steps to her. Maybe the woman of your life doesn’t reside in the same state as you. Maybe she does, but whatever the case is, because she’s emotionally disconnected from you, you have to find your way back into her heart. This will not be an easy task. Only God can undo the wrong done. Only He can soften the heart of a woman to give you another chance. God has to reconstruct her perception by showing her you’re not the same man she knew before. God is granting you grace and mercy by her acceptance of you back into her life.

7. After you ask God to order your steps back into her life, He will clear the path for that to happen. But here’s something you should be mindful of.  I’m sorry but you can’t have other women on the side while trying to rekindle what was or what could be for the first time. You’re setting yourself up to failure. Any intelligent woman can detect if there’s someone else in the picture whether she articulates the unspoken truth or not. A woman’s intuition never lies. As I reflect over the past months or even year, I’ve met some women along the way, but God disconnected me from them and reminded me to be patient if I wanted to meet the woman He’s set aside for me. This message of being patient not only came from within, but it also came from countless strangers in conversation. The path has been cleared for me. Life is guiding me in a different direction now. One I never anticipated. God has cleared the distractions out of my life so that I can journey to a new place emotionally and mentally free and open and ready for love. Stay tuned for my next blog “I’m Ready for Love.”

Note: When God begins to move distractions out of your life, He’s clearing the path for what’s meant to be, so don’t take it personal when “friends” and “potential” love interest cut you off. This will happen by design. You have to be ready and prepared when God moves that special lady back into your life.

Thus far, I have focused on spiritual aspect of aligning yourself with the woman of your dreams. It’s time to switch gears now. These last three steps will require courage of you. Again, if you know deep down in your heart this woman is not the one for you, don’t bother to read further. If so, you’ll be fine. Continue reading. When God clears the path for you, you’re on your way to have a heart to heart conversation with her, a window of opportunity for you to win her back.

8. Be willing to embarrass yourself. On Facebook I quoted: “You know a man loves you if he’s willing to embarrass himself to get you back.” Someone made the comment on the contrary. However, any man like me, who is passionate about something or someone, will go the extreme to do whatever it takes to have it. I don’t care if it requires taking a hard hit at my pride. You have to ask yourself the question: Am I willing to embarrass myself to get her back? If you have to stand up on a table and make a public announcement to let her know how serious you are about her, then do so. If she decides to give you another chance, and she has some, let’s say, special requirements for you to follow, be wiling to abide by those rules. God bless you if she asks you she smash cake on your face out in public and repeat “I promise not to mess up again,” More power to you if that’s her request.

Note: Women are visual, and again, emotional. Creating a scene that would resonate one of a movie in her mind will do some justice. However, she will be immensely moved by originality and sincerity.

9. Again, be patient. Just because she reopens the line of communication between you and her doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s given you her heart: During this time of being patient, she actually waiting to see if all your actions and words were genuine. She also wants to see if you’re willing to really develop a friendship with her without any kind of intimacy—strictly friendship. Discipline will be required of you here. If she places you in the friend zone for six months to a year, so be it. Putting a time frame on what decision she should or shouldn’t make is unfair. Remember, you messed up. You have to follow her rules until you earned a seat in her heart. If she’s worth it, waiting should not be a problem if you love her that much.

10. Be Transparent and Communicative: You availing yourself like an open book will give her the opportunity to examine all of you—parts she didn’t see or wanted to see before. Transparency and communication will rebuild that bride of trust again. She needs to trust you before she can open up again.

Note: Your strength and attractiveness to a woman not only resides in your physical makeup or personality, but also in your ability to be transparent and communicative. Women love men who are transparent and can communicate.

11. Make a commitment to be faithful: The time you taken to focus on you and your relationship with God while you let go of the situation with the woman you’re in love with, in addition to all the leadership and spiritual qualities God was instilling in you, He was also preparing you to be a faithful lover. You see, when God takes something away from you, and you go without it for months or even years, He’s helping you to see how valuable she was to you when you had her in your life. He’s also teaching you how to be faithful to Him, so that faithfulness to Him will transition over into your faithfulness to her.

Note: When you’re being unfaithful to the woman God has given you; you’re being unfaithful to Him. When you look at her, you should see God because she was made in His image. Keeping this in mind will encourage you to love her in a way that you never knew you could love.

After God gives you a second chance with her, give thanks. By giving thanks to God, you’re acknowledging this wouldn’t have been possible without Him. By giving thanks, you’re also reminding yourself to keep Him first. By giving thanks, you’re reminding yourself, to never again, take her for granted.

If you apply these steps to your situation, if things still didn’t turn out the way you expected, you still gained something. You now have a stronger relationship with God, and you’re a whole and complete man that knows what it takes to have a successful relationship.

As always, thanks for your time and reading.

Please leave comments and share with whomever you feel may benefit from my blog.

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The Introduction to How to Win Your Woman Back

If you love the woman you believe to be the one for you, pride will not be a matter in putting your heart on the line to win her back –Melvin Davis

Before I get into the heart of this message, I want to say upfront: this blog doesn’t serve the purpose of manipulating women or their emotions or to get them in bed. Pleas stop reading if this is the case. Women are a gift. They are the most beautiful beings on planet earth: A force, a power to be reckoned with because they bring balance, nurture and healing to a man’s life and much more. This message is for the guy who messed up a great thing. Perhaps internal and external circumstances or a lack of spiritual and personal maturity factored into the mistakes you’ve made. This is natural. Experience prepares us for what will ultimately be and to be a better man next time around. Maybe you were unfaithful. Unfaithfulness is something that should not be taken lightly. It’s like a fatal gunshot wound. Unfaithfulness can kill the life of a relationship, and only the power and forgiveness of God can resurrect it. This message is for the guy who is serious about the woman he’s ruined his chances with and feels deep down in his heart, this is the woman God has set apart for him.

I also want to place this thought in the forefront of your mind while you’re reading my blog: What I’m sharing will not guarantee you a second-chance. Only God knows. Only He has the power to undo the damage. If you feel your efforts may be in vain, stop reading. This blog is reserved for the man of great faith, for the guy who is willing to get hurt or disappointed. If you think she’s worth it, these fears should hold you back. To you who will follow these steps God has placed upon my heart in how to get your woman back, you will become a better person and a better man. Your relationship with God will be stronger than what it was before. I’ve discovered my purpose in my pain. I’ve matured spiritually and personally. I’m wiser and much stronger. I’m equipped to be the spiritual leader in a relationship.

There’s more good news in addition to growing as a man. That is what’s in God’s will for you to have will come into fruition. This is where faith comes in but there’s a catch. Your heart has to be fixed on God and not on the woman you believe to be your wife. Your heart desire cannot overpower giver of gifts. You have to search for your wife in Him. In Him are second chances given. In Him is healing to what was.

Stay tuned for the next installment of this blog series.

As always, thanks for reading. I encourage comments.

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Learn Her Love Language and Speak it Confidently, Pt.II

If there is any emotion within her, she can love and be loved. —Melvin Davis

In part I of this blog, I noted at the core of every woman, no matter how rough she’s been sanded by the hardships of life, she still has a soft side to her. She wants to be courted and romanced. She desires to be desired and loved. And for the topic at hand, she also wants a man to speak her love languages of honesty, one of friendship and simplicity. But I want to add a few more love languages to the equation of developing a meaningful, long-lasting and spiritual, intimate relationship with a woman that could potentially lead to the altar.

Women want to be transparent and vulnerable enough with a guy to show her true self. I believe women have sides of them that they are afraid to reveal to a man because she’s afraid he may use it to have the upper hand on her. But in order for a man to make her feel comfortable enough to lay down her hair, he must speak the love languages of transparency and vulnerability. Transparency involves being open and honest with another person—not holding anything back. I define vulnerable, hence, vulnerability by making yourself available for a person to see all, including the good and the bad. No one is perfect, but presenting yourself as perfect makes you unbelievable, and does damage to the self and the other person.

It’s extremely difficult for some men and once upon, myself, to be transparent and vulnerable. However, the last woman I was in love with, and have moved on from so that my eyes could bee open to see a special someone else, and for my heart to be open to experienced that same special feeling that I felt with the previous woman, I was completely transparent and vulnerable with her. I wanted her to see all of me. I wanted her to know that I wasn’t coming with folly or to get into her pants– nor did I come with a posture of perfection but one of good, honest, sincere intentions. Although things didn’t work out, I’d take the same chance again with the next woman I feel is special enough to see all of me. Speaking a woman’s love language of transparency and vulnerability by being open, revealing the what’s going in your head, what you feel in your heart, your aspirations, your dreams, what foundations you come from, how you define or have redefined love, what love should and shouldn’t look like, your relationship with God and how you come to know God, will an intricate part in finding a home in a woman’s heart. She needs to see all you to truly understand and love all of you.

There’s also another part of the equation of developing a great relationship with a woman. She has to know that she can trust and feel secure around you. Often times men get so excited, although they come with good intentions, they, including myself, have to be extremely patient in earning a woman’s trust and for her to feel secure around you. You speak a woman’s love language of trust and security by simply being patient with her and by following her speed. There’s nothing more awful and such a turnoff than rubbing a woman the wrong way in the preliminary stages with impatience. When this happens, she may just lose interest in you—altogether forfeiting your chances of ever getting close to her. But yes, there’s that “but” of hope: if she’s curious enough, and feel that you are special to be given another chance, she will. But in the event of building or rebuilding a road that leads to her heart that you have fractured, you could earn her trust by following her speed. In other words, if she doesn’t want anything more than a relationship, don’t pursue anything more. This doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s not interested. She may have something else going in life that demands her attention or she may have recently exited a previous relationship or it just may not be the right time for her. Women have a timing of their own, because things have to be and feel right. For men, things just have to make sense lol. Anyhow, be friends with her. Being friends will provide the opportunity to earn her trust, and for her to feel secure and comfortable around you.

And a question to ask yourself guys, “what’s the rush?” Patience will bring your heart desires closer to you. Impatience will push it away.

Note:

Trusting someone with your heart is nearly like putting your life into someone else hands. I know what a relationship looks like, a marriage for that matter, when trust and security withers away from the bond that you brought you together with that person to begin with. My parent’s marriage serves as a point of reference, in addition to my last relationship of four years ago. Although my parents have moved on with their lives, the scars remain. This is why write about the topic of love with such passion and vigor. I don’t want people to experience what I saw, nor do I again.

Whatever you choose to disclose to that woman you find special, if she she’s spiritually mature, she should not judge you. This is why it’s important for you to know her love language.

Note II: There is something that doesn’t need to be disclosed, especially if they are irrelevant at the time. Learning a woman’s love language, as well as listening to the voice of God guide you into a woman’s heart, will serve you will. Love and disclose carefully.

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