love

A Kingdom Minded Woman

She’s not persuaded by popular thought or trends

Her curves or her apparel don’t define her, nor the compliments of men

Her worth, her beauty, her definition and outlook of herself, rests on the foundation of the word and how God sees her

She is a reflection of her Creator, an expression of his love

She embodies the 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit

I pray

Love is sown into the fabric her spirit, and draws you near-strengthening you like trees planted near rivers

Joy illuminates and sheds light into every corner of a man. Her presence is a must!

Her peace cocoons you, ushers you into a sanctuary of security. You’ll sleep well lying next to her. You can trust her

Patience is her grace and mercy towards you. She’s compassionate, and listens with understanding, but she is no fool. She’s not naïve. She senses the truth through gifts and honey-filled talk

Kindness and Gentleness is innate, a natural makeup of her femininity

Self-control protects her innocence, and keeps destructive words from rolling off her tongue

Life comes out of her.

I pray

A woman is truly a gift, one that I pray for

Prepare me oh God, in such a way that I am ready, that’ll be exactly what she’s praying for

Build a foundation in my life for her to feel safe and secure

Strengthen my walk and relationship with you that she may see a leader, bold and filled with confidence

I pray

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love

The Inspiration Behind My Writing

Creativity is a gift; a thing without shape. It’s the spirit of inspiration. The experiences we acquire throughout life is the flesh, the thing that makes the inspiration real, felt once it’s created. –Melvin Davis

If this blog post burns any bridge between any potential lover and I, aware and unaware, then so be it. When I write, I can’t help but to be candid and honest. It’s what aim for as an aspiring novelist. Whether a writer chooses to disclose what inspires them to write is their choice. I’m a man of empathy: what I love about writing is being able to have a spiritual, intellectual and emotional connection with my readers. I want them to feel what I feel and see what I see whatever it is that I’m writing.

Subliminally, in many of my blogs and poems, except the borderline erotic ones, I’ve hinted to who inspires me to write. Note: the poems I write that are erotic, never comes from a place of lust, but from a place of expressing how I would engage my future wife. But I understand the difficulty for many religious and “holy” people to discard lovemaking, openly, from their conversation.  Of course, if I were married, or seriously courting someone or dating, the intimacy of what she and I would share would no be up for entertainment. Lovemaking is a sacred. I totally agree. My borderline erotic poems are sincere creative sacred expressions. Not trash. But back to the point: I never envision expressing myself through words and being this quite transparent. As a child, I was very imaginative and creative. I enjoyed drawing however in my adulthood life, drawing left my creative landscape. Words and images have become my medium from which I express myself artistically but there’s someone I met sometime ago, in addition to studying philosophy and a breakup that really influenced my writing.

There are some people we meet in life that will have a long lasting impact on us. There was a woman I met about two years ago. Instantly I felt something strong about her. She had beauty that extended with balance: physically, intellectually, and spiritually. She had a wonderful personality. All of those things I saw and discerned in her were gathered from conversation. Long story short: If you have read my blogs on being patient for love, seeking your purpose before seeking love, you’ll see where the inspiration from those blogs come from: my impatience and lack of self-love ruined the friendship this special woman and I had.

Since then, a great deal of time had passed. I’m not same person she met two years ago. What still remains the same are the feelings I have for her. Trust me when I say this, and I’ve actually share this with her while we were friends: I tried praying my feelings away because I didn’t have the patience to let whatever was going to unfold, unfold. Yes, I’ve dated other women since then. A good portion I shall say, but not with hopes of getting over her, instead to prove to others and myself that could move on and be open to love coming from someone else. In other words, the world didn’t stop because of what I felt and feel for her. But besides having feelings for her, God tells me to focus Him and writing and to be patient for love. So here I am, single and not involved with anyone.

Since the feelings I have for her continue to stay, subconsciously, my mind and my heart transcends thoughts and feelings for her into art. The height of feeling the way I did and do for her inspires to me write about love because I am still in love with her. In a way, a part of me wonders would I write with such passion, with such transparency and vulnerability. If I were to no longer feel what I feel for her or desire her, would I still write the way I do about love? To be honest, I don’t have an answer for that question. Even when the pain was there, when I couldn’t forgive myself for my mistakes, I still wrote with passion. It’s interesting how when our friendship ended, I began writing my novel and going through my personal and spiritual transformation that was need to mold and shape a better me.

I will not say her name out of respect and for her privacy; she is the inspiration behind my writing. In fact, my love for her inspired me to write poetry. The first poem I ever wrote was, This is What She Do Me. I gave her this poem and she enjoyed. Said she would frame it. That feeling felt good, but what really touched me was that she appreciated the words I used to paint a picture of how I perceived and felt about her. I believe any artist would like to have their work understood, felt and appreciated.

I don’t know how this feeling for her would last or would change if I met someone else. Either way, I’d still write with passion and vigor. So until then, I’m going to harness all the inspiration I can about her to paint portraits with words.

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Communication, Faith, friendship, Honesty, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

Let your heart tell you when its time to love again–not your impatience.–Melvin Davis

Healing, timing, your understanding of unconditional love, spiritual and emotional maturity, discovering your purpose, are all essential to meeting the love our life.–Melvin Davis

These words above just about sums up the changes that have taken place in my personal life within the past eight or nine months or so. I would like to share personal journey in a snap shot.

Prior to eight or nine months ago, I thought I was ready for love, but time proven that I wasn’t. Disappointment was all that I experienced as a result of my impatience for love, as well as neglecting other areas of my life that needed my full-undivided attention.

Within this personal/spiritual transformation that I’ve undergone, I experienced a lot of hurt, not so much as the result from the woman I was fond of, but because of some irrational decisions I made. However, I don’t necessarily regret all the decisions that I made, because they were all done with good intention, but the things I’ve gone through has allowed me to develop a heighten sense self-assurance and an understanding of what it takes to make a relationship work, successfully. My experiences have also given me a great deal of wisdom and have allowed me to finish a novel in five months (and much more). While healing from my self-inflicted wounds, I still wasn’t open to love again, and I believe this was the case by divine purpose.

About a month or two ago, I had an epiphany one night. Whereas, light was shed of where I went wrong in my pursuit of love a year ago. I was putting my desire to experience love over my personal relationship with God. I just couldn’t see this, although they were plenty of signs thrown my way. I asked God the question “why couldn’t I pass this test months ago?” The response I felt in my heart, “because it wasn’t your time to pass it …now that I have matured your emotionally and spiritually, given you patience, built your self-esteem, now that you’re operating in your purpose, now that you have a grasp of loving unconditionally, and now that you know you have to keep me first, I will give you the desires of your heart.” My response, “okay, I got it now,” but overall I was speechless and greatly overwhelmed. I knew in my mind that I was to keep God first, but this notion and understanding never reached my heart in a way that it became applicable in my life.

Within the past weeks, I’ve been on my Island of Patmos. My Island of Patmos is my spiritual meditative state. I receive revelation, guidance and direction there. I know all the things I’ve gone through have prepared me to stand in love and not fall in it. If I was given my heart desires a year ago, I would have lost a sense of self, wouldn’t have completed my novel or matured in the way that I did or gained the wisdom that I have. But, because all of things I’ve gone through, it has developed patience within me to wait for love and to keep my ear in-tuned to when my heart has communicated to me to be open to receive and give love again

Although I am still not ready for a relationship, I am becoming more receptive to cultivating a friendship with someone who I could see myself being with, which is a great thing, because I want my next relationship to be built on a foundation of friendship.

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, Honesty, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, poetry, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

She’s afraid of me Pt.III

She paces back and forth with tears falling from her eyes

I narrowed my eyes looking closer. I see she’s carrying one luggage too heavy for her

I stand to help, but God says “leave this to me” so I sit

In her left hand, I see fear, hurt, pain, and distrust. I also saw a man’s name

In her right hand, she carries “I want to love again but how?”

I continue to pray in silence watching trains pass by. I become frustrated

She sees the look of despair on my face and comes to comfort me

She sits besides me acting out her nature of nurture and care. I denied her not

My mind welter but her touch eases me. Her spirit is peace

She looks deeply into my eyes and I see words fighting to come forth from the fibers of her fears

I listen.

“I’m afraid because I’ve been hurt before.”

“I’m afraid because I saw many come with the same intentions”

“I am afraid to take a chance”

“I’m just afraid”

I looked deeply into her eyes praying for God to speak on my behalf

She continued to stare and she listened: “I sent him to you because you prayed for him.”

“The past served the purpose for wisdom and to sharpen your spiritual eye for the right “one

“Take this man as your husband”

A train stops and an unknown passenger comes by taking the luggage from her left hand. Her countenance brightens

“But I’m afraid..” She started to say. The train that was leaving stopped but God said, “Go!”

Her spirits lifted and I saw the conductor give the cue to leave

She smiles with laughter watching the train leaving

 I held her into my arms stroking her soft skin

“Why didn’t you leave? Many trains passed by”

I kissed her and said, “all the trains that passed by were beautiful indeed, but they were all empty inside

“My spirit agrees with yours”

“You are the one God told me to patient for”

I kneeled to her feet in faith

She waits with great anticipation

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Communication, Faith, friendship, Honesty, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, poetry, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

She’s afraid of me Pt. II

She sits in silence wondering what to do, so she prays

I listen to her spirit say, “I know that I prayed for the one, but I don’t believe its him–God, give me a sign”

Her fear is a sign that I’m what she’s been praying for

My hope is suspended in time and space

My feelings sit on the edge of a cliff wondering if it will be pushed over by her fear

I sit in silence praying that she will see what I see

But I can’t say a word because revelations come in two’s

I am taken to a new place

I stand at the station of her love waiting for her signal to get on board, but she keeps passing me by

I glance at my one-way ticket thinking if I should take the next trip out

Watching trains pass me by. I said “no. I’m not leaving.”

I took a seat looking at her with praying eyes

She wants me to leave or say something that will give her the easy way out, but I pray in silence

She glances over and sees that I am not ready to leave because she could feel the depth of my love for her from my spirit

She sees what I’m about to do

 She flirts and tells me to be patient to keep me around. “Does she realize that she’s confusing me?”

“I asked why are you doing this? You prayed me up, but you have me on hold”

I am paralyzed by her indecisiveness and my feelings for her

I stand up with luggages in each hand. She walks by observing them

I tighten the grip to faithfulness, unconditional love, and understanding

I clench my right hand to communication, commitment, and honesty

She walks by me again with tears in her eyes

I pray in silence, “God give her the strength to overcome her fears”

To be continued

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