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Something about Her

Melvin Davis

The thought of her is never force down on to paper.

She is the romantic period in this 21st century.

She is suitable like honey is to tea.

A whiff of her spirit is of the finest fragrance: Soft and alluring.

The aesthetic of her being came into existence by the breath of God.

I am made for her.

And she is the perfect gift that stops me from looking any further

She’s everything she needs to be for me.

If she gives me a chance by letting me into her heart, I’ll pluck strings she never knew she had

Her eyes would reflect the blue skies and the brilliance of white clouds in heaven

Her skin would glow like the streets of pure gold

Her hair would shine like the harp in the angels hand

I want to be the reason you glow.

I whispered selah into her ears, but…

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Faith, God's Will, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships

Before You ask “Will You” and Before You say, “I do.”

I’ve never been engaged or married. Never came close. I learned a lot from one serious relationship, yet I was never the relationship kind of guy. You may think otherwise. My writing content may suggest so, but I write with the aim in mind to prevent others from making critical mistakes. I write with the aim in mind for you to seek the will of God before you ask, “will you?” and before you say, “I do.” I always saw relationships as a serious long-term commitment. In a way, I viewed relationships like marriage. I saw a lot at stake. Relationships are a physical, emotional and spiritual investment. Lives intersect, experiences are exchanged, bonds develop and souls knit together. You almost become one. And you know what getting physical (sex) does. It heightens every emotion you have for that person and cements a spiritual bond that’s going to be tough to break when the relationship doesn’t work out. When God says, wait until marriage, it’s for your good.

At this stage in my life, I see investing time in people or getting into a relationship more critical than ever. Conversing and socializing with people are intentional. They will have purpose. I don’t believe in wasting time or getting into a committed relationship because I can or when the feeling of loneliness surface. I don’t approach love with a “see where it goes” attitude. Maybe that’s appropriate when you’re younger. But even in my youth, I still didn’t approach love that way. I knew the severity of it. I was aware of the impact it could have on my life and vice versa. People take it really hard when a relationship doesn’t work out and rightfully so. High expectations and promises at stake.

I challenge you to seek the will of God with all your mind, heart, soul and spirit. Get alone with God and get in His face. Ask yourself, am I in the will of God and if this relationship or marriage is what God has for me? No one is perfect, but God’s will is. Ups and downs, agreements and disagreements are inevitable. That’s called being human. That’s called growth and learning one another, however, when God hand is something, He protects and preserves it. He helps you grow in place where you may fall apart. People fall apart in tough places, because the grace to sustain what’s fractured isn’t there. There’s grace in the will of God.

The person God has for you is there to enjoy life with. They are there to help you fulfill the will of God. They are in your life to grow in Christ together. If you are second-guessing any decision you made and you don’t feel peace in your heart, investigate why. God will not hold back an answer from you.

I pray God’s love and protection, His grace and mercy, to cover your life. It’s in Jesus name that I pray, amen!

 

 

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love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships

What a Man Walking with God Longs For: A Peculiar Woman Pt. I #Proverbs31

For a man walking with God to find a holy and righteous woman in a committed relationship with Christ, the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit is needed. Walking with God and in self-control is also pertinent in avoiding deception. Fellowship with the Trinity, reading the Word of God and prayer is where discernment comes from. You don’t want to be misled or seduced by a woman who claims to have given their heart to Christ. You could tell if she truly has a relationship with Christ by the fruit she bears. Many popular/mega Christian Churches are secular, because their leaders who are pastoring them are. This happens when the leader isn’t living a holy and righteous life. The focus in ministry today is about who has the largest church. Large churches are built by the comfortable messages preached. Simply put, they’re afraid to teach the Gospel out of fear of offending people, which may translate to losing members. People have unfollowed me from sharing the truth. I’m fine with that. As long as they read the truth, they’re responsible for what they now know. This is a time to mature. Ministry today has less to do with signs, wonders, miracles and true spiritual transformation that could only happen by the presence of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, when you have secularism filtering into the church and a fraction of the truth taught, a body of secular Christians are produced. Consequently, you have Christians living secular lives, because their leaders aren’t encouraging them to live a holy and righteous life.

In the introduction of this blog, I explained how my preference in a Christian woman has changed. I credit my commitment to living a holy and righteous life. In addition, answering the call to deeper intimacy in Christ. I can’t see myself with a Christian woman modeling herself after the world and the secular entertainers she’s influenced by or content with not growing spiritually. God revealed to me you could still be unequally yoked with another Christian. You’re probably asking yourself, how is that possible. The answer lies Christians who to adapt the ways of world vs., the ones truly walking out their life in Christ.  Yes, you are in the world, but Christ teaches us to not conform to it. (John 17:16)

Before I move on to type of Christian woman walking with God looks like according to the word of God, and not the thoughts of Melvin Davis, I want make a brief point to women:

You have and will continue to come across Christian men who haven’t truly committed their life to Christ. They’re going to tempt you have sex, object to celibacy before marriage or approve moving in together when you aren’t married. To men, some Christian women may have the same influence on you as well. Marrying for the sake of making it “right” to have sex is still fornication. Lust was the motive to create a sacred union. It wasn’t God that brought you together in unity to become one flesh (Matthew 19:5). I urge both men and women to live their life in Christ, to pursue holiness and righteousness and to not be afraid of standing out. God called you apart. You were never meant to fit it.

This is the kind of Christian woman a man walking with God is praying for.

  1. A woman who’s Set Apart. A priest.

You must be holy because I, the LORD, am holy. I have set you apart from all other people to be my very own. -Leviticus 20:26

But you are the chosen race, the Kings priests, the holy nation, God’s own people, chosen to proclaim the wonderful acts of God, who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9

A priestly woman is set apart. She’s a woman living her life in Christ without one foot in the world. When you’re walking with God, you’re distinguishable, different, and peculiar. Some people may go on to describe you as “intriguing,” “different,” or  “unique.” A Christian believer may say, “You really are walking the walk.” It’s possible to be unequally yoked with another Christian.

There are some Christians who just refuse to fully surrender their life to Christ. It’s uncomfortable for them. They care about what others may think if they choose a life of holiness and righteousness. They’re afraid of not being able to have fun or being lonely. It saddens me they have listened to the lies of the adversary, the desire of their flesh and other Christians who have been taught the word of God incorrectly. As a result, they still do, watch and listen to what the world listens to you. 2 Timothy says, the NLT, “They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly.”

A priest is compatible with a priest. In other words, two people pursuing holiness and righteousness are compatible with each other.  When two people aren’t, lifestyles and ways of thinking will clash. Arguments would  also occur as well as many moments of spending less time together. The individual fully surrender to Christ will desire like-minded company. The person who’s in the world will cling to similar company.

2. A woman of God who doesn’t fashion herself after the world.

The world comes up with a variety of terms and mantras to give women a sense of self-empowerment. I wonder why does a Christian woman need to be validated by the world when Christ knew you and set you apart before you were born (Jeremiah 1:5). Embracing secular terms don’t align with who Christ such as “Diva,” “bossgirl/bosslady” and “alpha female” are unbiblical. Acting “hood” is unbiblical too. Men also embrace these secular tags and model their behavior after them. Jesus, the Son of God, wasn’t and isn’t an alpha male, nor did he liken himself to one, yet He’s The King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I strongly suggest women look up the word diva to find out the origins of it.

A woman who’s walking with God models herself after the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), which can be seen when you study the life of Christ in scripture. When you see Christ, you see the Holy Spirit. The book of Proverbs is a direct correlation of the wisdom of God on display through the life of Solomon (Isaiah 11:2 and Proverbs 1). Proverbs 31 is a direct correlation and representation of how Christ sees fit, of how His daughter, soon to be bride, and already bride, should carry herself. A woman who walks with God is confident, strong and humble. She’s a woman of faith and prayer, patience, love and joy, and more. She is the bride that Jesus sees.

3. A woman you can fellowship with.

I chose not to use the word “friendship” for a reason. There are two kinds of friendships: Christ-like and secular. As a believer, we have to balance the two. I say balance because we are called to share the Gospel of Christ with those who are living in the world and to strengthen other believers who have one foot in the world or are still maturing in their faith.

By fellowship, I’m speaking of a Christian woman you could enjoy being around. You could also have Bible study and pray together. You could really dig deeper into the deeper things of God, and not leave the conversation feeling you shouldn’t have discussed a particular topic. I’ve been there. Awkward feeling.

Conversation, chemistry, discussions and socializing runs much smoother when you’re engaging a woman who’s on the same walk in Christ as you are. It would be amazing to meet a woman who has the same spiritual goals as you do. I came across a prophet recently that the Holy Spirit led me to on Youtube. God reveals things both he and his wife at the same time. I thought to myself, how wonderful that is to experience things in the spiritual realm at the same time.

Fellowship in a relationship is important. It’s a sign of compatibility, and the two of you are on a track to grow spiritually.

  1. A woman of Humility

Vanity isn’t hard to find. In social media you’ll find vain, haughty, arrogant, conceit, sensuality and sexuality oozing from the images of women. Some women are constantly throwing themselves into social media to solicit attention, validation and self-worth. Even married ones. Men who give into these forms of seduction and desperate attempts of attention and validation are also walking in the lust of their flesh. They are looking to satisfy the lustful desire in the way these women are. Lust and holiness do not agree with each other.

A woman who possesses the spirit of humility doesn’t need throw herself at men. She’s confident enough in the timing of Christ to be sought (Proverbs 18:21.) Both men and women, who rely on their bodies to find love, haven’t discovered their identity in Christ. The Fruits of the Holy Spirit in you is as just attractive of the physique or beauty God has given you. However, when you rely solely on good looks, you will reap what you’re sowing. You may find an attractive or successful man by the way your present yourself, but that doesn’t guarantee you’ll land a committed and faithful husband who’s sold out to Christ. That goes for men too. “Arm candy or a “trophy” wife comes with a price. More than likely, it’s going to cost you $$$$.

Many Christians do drift away from the word of God. When this happens, they conform back to their old ways. Humility is who Christ is. He’s the perfect example and definition of humility. Look at him, then look at you.

5. A man who walks with God looks for a godly mother in a godly wife.

I pay close attention to how a woman talks and carries herself. It gives me insight to the kind of mother she would be. The vision that I have for my family is a Christ-centered one. With the help of my wife, I envision reading and teaching my children from the book of Proverbs. With my daughter, I would teach her about a virtuous woman, and the kind of woman she should avoid becoming and socializing with. I imagine teaching my son by about Adam and his rightful place in the Garden of Eden before the fall. I would transition out of the OT scriptures into the NT, and show them God’s remarkable plan of redemption through Jesus Christ. Christ will be there ultimate primary focus on conducting their self in a secular world. This is shortlist of how I want to raise my family with my wife. When it comes certain things I look for a woman, one certainly is a mother.

When I hear profanity leave a woman’s mouth, see herself posting seductive pictures and behaving haughty, I wonder how she’s like as mother. Children are like clay. They take on the shape of what they see, hear and what they are taught. If the mother has a nasty and sassy attitude, more than likely, the child would have one too. If the mother is living her life in Christ, more than likely, her children would too. I’m not speaking or a religious mother but one who has a relationship with Christ.

Men who are walking in the spirit aren’t moved the beauty of women. They see beyond the surface and into the spirit. Some women complain about not finding a good man or someone lost out on them. Perhaps your lack of commitment to Christ is the reason why the relationship didn’t work out or why the guy passed you up. God may have prevented a disastrous relationship and heartbreak. I wouldn’t pursue a woman who has no desire to give her life to Christ or grow in Him. Christ said, you don’t pour new wine into old wineskins. If so, the old wineskin would break (Matthew 9:17). In other words, praying for a godly husband when you aren’t living a holy, righteous and committed relationship with Christ isn’t going to work. You would be unequally yoked.

It’s my prayer that you seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness; so all the other things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33). God has great things in store for you, but you will only possess them with a transformed and renewed mind that comes by the reading of the word. Say goodbye to the past and what didn’t work out. Jesus loves you so much to allow you live below His will. Connect to Christ and fully surrender to Him. Get in the word so it can cleanse your spirit and transform your mind.

 

Note: The photos of women featured in my blogs are in no way a representation of a Christian or Proverbs 31 woman. I choose them because they’re elegant.

 

 

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Faith, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Relationships

What a Man Walking with God Longs For: A Peculiar Woman #Proverbs31

While I still have a long way to go in maturing and reaching a certain level in my spiritual walk in Christ, I’m slowly taking on His image. I’m learning how to walk with God. Like an infant, I stumble and fall, but I get back up and persevere. I find the journey rewarding. Experiencing God in the spiritual realm is an experience words will do no justice  for. There are so many layers of God. Anyhow, my mind, the way I think, behave, interact and converse with people is all being transformed by the intimacy I’m developing with the Trinity. That’s to say, the kind of woman I long to be with has changed.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” -1 Samuel 16:7

In my youth, I was smitten by a woman’s beauty. I interpreted beauty as a sign from God that I found my wife. Like me, this changes for many people when you discovered the ugliness beneath physical attraction. You’ll find vanity, lust, sensuality, arrogance, self-absorbedness, judgment, dishonesty, unfaithfulness and rude behavior in beauty. Now, I look beyond the appearance of beauty. I see what’s inside the heart. I look at the fruit of the spirit. I long for a particular Christian woman.

There are two types of Christians. 1) The believer who acknowledges Jesus Christ, as Lord and Savior, but they aren’t in a committed relationship with Him. This person prays often. They may pick up the bible to read a few scriptures. They may attend church every (or every other) Sunday, however, what the individual engages in and believes doesn’t impact their lifestyle. When you are in a committed relationship with someone, your faithfulness to that person governs the decisions you make and how you interact with opposite sex. You wouldn’t flirt, hangout or spend quality time with someone else while you’re in a committed relationship. What seems innocent often leads to an emotional affair. Soon the emotional affair gives birth to a physical one. Now you have a spiritual affair. A soul-tie. 2) The other Christian walks with God. They’re in a committed relationship in Christ. Their time with God, praising and worshipping continues after Sunday service. This person spends quality time in God’s presence to build intimacy that would allow them to experience the depths of God’s glory and creation. This believer isn’t perfect by a long shot, but holiness and righteousness is their aim, desire and course of action of living life. They are faithful to God, which is evident in their lifestyle. Holiness and righteousness is not a religious attitude. It’s a lifestyle.  With that being said, I pray to marry a woman who walks with God and a woman that’s in a committed relationship with Christ and strives to live a life of holiness and righteousness.

If you were to ask me the question, how can I tell if a woman is walking with God or not. My answer is found in Matthew 7:16. The scripture reads, “By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles?” I love the word of God so much. It truly is truth, light and life. Each verse is layered with revelations that only the Holy Spirit can reveal to the believer who’s filled with Him. This scripture alludes to spiritual discernment/gift of the discerning of spirits. Through discernment, you can tell what kind of fruit that lies in the spirit of a person, which translates to the conduct and behavior of a person, as in what the fruit bears. I examine the fruit a woman bears. This tells me about her relationship with God. I listen to what comes out of her mouth. I observe her actions & behaviors, how she thinks and reasons, what she shares and who she follows on social media—which all inherently point to if she’s in a committed relationship with Christ or not. I see her level of spiritual maturity and understanding of the word of God and the Trinity. I used to be the guy that engaged in secular things. My taste in music, conversation and what I watched on televisions did not reflect the holiness and righteousness of Christ. I filled my ears and eyes with profanity, coarse joking (humor that mocks the things of God and humor riddle with obscene/vulgar language) and all other things that are impure. When I was as a child, I reasoned and behaved like a child. I wasn’t aware of what I engaged in my prior life was affecting my relationship with God and other people. That was until God begin to speak to my spirit through dreams, divine encounters, visions and His word and became a man. I put away those childish things (1 Corinthians 13:11.) God made it a priority to let me know that’s He’s called me to a life of holiness. A priest lives a holy and righteous life. God said, because He is Holy, we should be holy ( Leviticus 20:26.) Those who walk with God refrain from all things that are secular and impure. We are in the world, but not of the world, which means, we don’t do what the world does (John 17:16). God’s holy priest seeks the deeper things of God. They desire to fellowship and serve God behind the veil.

Giving all that I’ve shared above, I am man who desires to marry a woman who walks with God. How awesome would it be to join a woman in marriage who’s living a holy and righteous life, who’s also seeking the deeper things of God. I seek to talk to God face-to-face like Moses did. I want to see all of God’s glory and to partner and converse with the angelic hosts. God wants to reveal Himself to all. He wants deep intimacy with you, however, only a few will want to go that deep. Matthew 22: 14, reads, “Many are called, but a few are chosen.” Many are called, because the arms of God are opened to all of his children. He doesn’t discriminate. He’s not a respecter of persons (Acts 10:34). The chosen are those who want to go deeper. They are the ones who step forward and apart from the millions who are standing on the front line. Some people are content with standing on the front line. Therefore, they never grow in Christ. They never truly experience God. The Bible rarely comes to life in their lives, therefore, it reads like a story and just a story. They live off the testimonies and revelations of others.  I want to be with a woman who’s also chosen. A woman who’s not just passionate about Christ, but committed to Christ. Passion doesn’t always translate into obedience and a changed lifestyle. I believe that every man who’s walking with God is praying to be with a woman who’s also walking with God and pursuing the deeper things of Him. That’s what spiritual compatibility looks like.

In the next part of the blog, I’ll break down the specs of what kind of woman a man walking with God longs for.

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Communication, Faith, friendship, Honesty, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships

Chosen to Love

Deep calls out to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. –Psalm 42:7

In this passage, King David is referring to intimacy with God. He’s not alluding to a religious/mundane like relationship with God.  Whereas, you set aside time with God, read your bible and pray because you feel obligated to. There’s nothing mechanical about love or intimacy. Love and Intimacy is natural. It’s also personal, revelatory and a deep spiritual experience. King David desired to go deep, because he was deep. He was deep because God made him that way. The installation of intimacy within king David was there before he was born. Deep intimacy was pursued given where King David was at in life. He recognized the need for intimacy with God and he knew there was a price to pay for it. We are also made to experience deep intimacy with God, but there’s a price for it. However, “many are called, but a few are chosen.” The chosen enters the secret place because they have a desire to.

The chosen are willing to pay the cost. Sleep, meals, social outing’s, changing your lifestyle and who you socialize with are some costs. Consecration is part of the equation of arriving to a deep place of intimacy with God. This means you have set yourself apart from the world. Separation from all unclean, unholy and impure things, lifestyles and people are necessary. The further you step into the presence of God, the holier you become, sin begins to lose its power and grip over you. And the scales begin to fall off your eyes. When the scales fall off your eyes, the clearer you’ll see who you are in Christ. Your self-worth is elevated then. In your previous days, you entertained anything that looked or sounded good. But now that you have matured in Christ, you’re not easily wooed or swept of your feet by beauty and ear pleasing words that connects with the experiences of your soul. You have arrived to a revelation that the love of your life has to be chosen by God for you.

Two truths about life: Substance is hard to find and beauty isn’t far away. You can find attractive people everywhere, but it’s rare to find substance in beauty. In person or on social media, vanity is all on an all-time high. Credit that to the popularity, power and platform of social media. Hundreds of pics stream through your timeline that serves the purpose of soliciting your attention. You start to wonder what else does the person have to offer besides another pic puckering lips, seductive eyes, revealing clothing and pretentious inspirational and “Godly messages and quotes” that essentially serves the purpose of finding an excuse to share another pic. Vanity isn’t of God and when you don’t love yourself or see who you are in Christ, you’ll continue to post pics for likes or attention, which means, you’re still seeking approval regardless if you are in a relationship, married or not.

As you take on the image and mind of Christ, the easier it is discern who’s a good fit for you. Speaking for myself, God is drawing me into a deep place of intimacy with Him. He’s revealing things to me in ways that would cause arguments and raise antennas of suspicion and skepticism about me. Equally yoked is what I’m getting at here–whether friend or more. There are only a handful of people who I can converse about the deeper things of God and an argument or a “why” question isn’t thrown out. There’s just a level of spiritual maturity and understanding that permits such conversation to flow. I now know my wife has to be chosen for me. The calling and ministry God has assigned me isn’t designed for any woman to understand or be a part of. Her mind must also be in Christ and so must her thirst and hunger after holiness and righteousness, thus, Jesus Christ. If a woman is in the world or is heavily influenced by it, we’re not going to be on the same page. If she has not desire to mature in Christ, we would constantly misunderstand each other.

God has chosen someone specifically for you. They are made for you. They are equipped with the love, patience, communication and prayer life to stand beside you and be a life partner. To single women, be patient for the man/husband God has for you. To single men, wait for the woman of God. God knows where you are in life. He knows what needs smoothing out in you before he releases her. He knows where you must be in Him before He releases her to you. To single woman, changing your ways and behavior maybe the cause of the delay. You must emulate the mind of Christ.

 

 

 

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Ulterior Motives
Communication, friendship, Honesty, How to Find Love, love

Ulterior Motives

It’s normal for God to send people in your life to help bring clarity, offer financial help, lend understanding, aid in your healing process or perhaps offer emotional support or assistance concerning a business venture.  Then there are persons the adversary sends. These people may stir up anger, frustration or even try to seduce you out of the wonderful plans of God. Walking into the things of God rests on your ability to hear and discern His direction. People often miss their open doors or new place of intimacy with God, because they were distracted. In other words, they were too busy investing time in someone God didn’t place in their life to be with. It’s easy to fall in luring traps of the adversary when someone looks and sounds like what your heart desires. In Genesis 3, the serpent knew actually what to say to Eve. The deceptive spirit knew if it could have the ear of Eve, he could have the mind of Adam. The adversary knows that if he could hold your attention long enough, you would fall into his trap. I want to help you avoid deception by highlighting some visible signs that who’s in your life, is not in your life to be a sincere help. There are ulterior motives.  I will go on to say that not every person sent in your life is from the adversary. The flesh rises up too. By that I mean, some people simply don’t have self-control. They are so attracted to you that they find it difficult solely focus on the reason (s) why God sent them into your life. Nonetheless, a distraction is a distraction.

6 Visible Signs

  1. Attitudes.

Confronted with an attitude is one way to tell if someone is in your life for a different reason than what they initially communicated to you. Attitudes may result in your unavailability to hangout, talk and text at the moment. It could also fall upon the individual’s distaste of not getting the desired reaction to their kind gesture or effort.  A snappy attitude let’s you know you didn’t do what was expected of you, according to what’s going on in their mind.

  1. Change of Availability. “Oh, I was busy.”

When you became “friends” or began working on a “project” or “collaborating,” you talked often. From the start of the acquaintance, the person was always available to communicate. But now, things have changed. They’re no longer available like they were before. Why the drastic change? Here’s why. Once a person can’t get what they want or they found out the attraction isn’t mutual or that you’re interested in someone else, distance is created. This is an act of self defense. Their typical response now is “Oh, I was busy. Sorry.”  People become more “busier” than usual when they know a relationship with you is out of the plans.

3.  Biased Counsel/Feedback.

Be careful who you confide in or seek advice from–particularly, someone who likes you as more than a friend. If it’s making an important life decision, there’s a chance to receive biased feedback or advice. Their opinion may lean towards their interest in you or whatever ulterior motive they have. This is a sign of manipulation.

I have dealt with women like this before. If I asked for a different perspective, their opinion was never in the favor of the woman I was interested at that time. They would say, you need a woman with x, y and z qualities. Beneath the surface, they were referring to their self. I have learned it’s not always wise to seek advice from someone of the opposite sex, unless it’s someone you can trust to get unbiased counsel or feedback from.

4. Third-person Referral.

Ever met someone who you confided in about a potential significant other, and they had all negative things say about the person you have your eye on. And later on in the conversation, they start to listing off qualities/characteristics of a person you mesh well with, but they’re really referring to their self. Self-referrals should be avoided even if you do have certain traits your “friend” is looking for. It’s wise to leave it up to them to decided.

5.  Distracted from Your Purpose.

“How did we end up here” maybe a question you would ask yourself when you realized you have been distracted. It’s not a good feeling to realize to find out you spent more time getting to know someone than on the actual reason of why the person is in your life. The assistance, healing, understanding and clarity you needed became irrelevant. For example, you crossed paths with someone who wanted to help you start a business. In the beginning, phone conversations and meet ups were centered on business. But after a while, now you’re talking about personal matters and personal feelings for each other. Business takes the back burner or something God had you working on. You drifted and started to realize something is wrong.

Taking a look at another example. You were just about to start a fast or God was prepping you for a transition. Then someone reaches out to express interest in you or began speaking “prophetically” over your life. After a few conversations with this person, unknowingly, you find yourself drifting away from what God had instructed you to do. Your attention was captured and trust had been earned, based on things that were mentioned about your past, present and future.  As time progresses, your attention is fully given to this individual, and you start to have this unsettling turning feeling in your stomach that something is wrong. Confusion clouds around you like fog. Before, you had clarity and you knew what God was up to in your life. What happened? You were distracted and deceived. It’s important to know the adversary may know what God is doing in your life. He will send false prophets to speak what he has learned about you. Be careful.

6.    Compulsive behavior is a form obsession. It means the person can’t control their personal feelings for you. So it doesn’t matter how many times you tell them you aren’t interested in having a relationship, they will continue to persist and insist  on behaving in a way that’s their inappropriate and make you feel uncomfortable. Dealing with someone who’s compulsive and obsessive is quite scary.

Some emotions are appropriate if the feelings are mutual or you’re currently in a relationship, but in everything, balance is necessary. When someone starts getting sappy with you, as in sending “good morning sunshine” or “hello love” text messages in the early a.m., or, “sweet dreams” “thinking of you,” and the nature of the acquaintance isn’t on that level, the person has become comfortable enough with you to unleash their true feelings. Lengthy emotional text messages or numerous phone calls is an indication of emotional attachment. You may start to feel suffocated or awkward, because of the intensity of their feelings being projected towards you.

All in all, being attracted to someone is inevitable. Yes, it’s possible to meet the love of your life through other means than an initial romantic interest. Yes, you could end up becoming friends first, partnering and networking in some way or another, and later, becoming more. I believe those acquaintances unfold into something more naturally and mutually. However, when you have ulterior motives from the start, that’s never a good thing. There’s a slight chance that plan may backfire or put you and the other person in an awkward position to have an awkward conversation. It’s not worth being a stumbling block in the life God has sent you to be a help.

It’s also your responsibility to be clear with people from the start. You have to set boundaries, be professional and articulate what is or isn’t appropriate. This will help you and the other part keep things in perspective, so nothing is misinterpreted and expectations remain in their rightful place and context. Communication matters.

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Ulterior Motives
love, Melvin Davis, Patience

Ulterior Motives. The Introduction

Taking another route to get close to someone isn’t flattering or suave. It’s called deception masked in “innocence.”–Melvin Davis

There are two ways of experiencing love: God’s way and your way. Unfortunately, those who don’t wait on God take the second route to find love. Impatience drives them venture out of the will of God to find the love. And when you take this route, you’re tempted to deceive, seduce and wiggle your way into someone’s life. Ulterior motives used to get close to someone are forming a “friendship,” “seeking help” or “prayer,” “collaborating,” “counseling,” “partnering,” “pursuing a business opportunity,” and other social means to have one on one time with someone. In the times we live in, I strongly advise you to pray for spiritual discernment, so you aren’t deceived, entangled or led astray by someone’s ulterior motives. There’s a spirit behind ulterior motives and it’s not of God. A spirit I encounter often is the Jezebel spirit. You could always tell the spirit by the characteristics. See Matthew 7:15-20. Many of my devotional posts emphasize the importance of having an intimate relationship with God, to pray for spiritual discernment and seek the gift of discerning of spirits. The Jezebel spirit attempts to control, manipulate, seduce and lure you out of the will of God. The spirit appears to be of God, but if you listen with discernment, you’ll find out that it’s action; behaviors or what they teach about God is inconsistent with the scripture. The Jezebel spirit seeks to fulfill the lust of the flesh. It’s sad to say many believers in Christ are under the influence of the Jezebel spirit. I know you’re thinking how could this be. Well, draw your attention to Matthew 16:23 for a few minutes.

Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying God forbid it, Lord! This shall never happen to you. But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but man’s.”

I read this scripture countless times. It never dawned on me to ask how could satan speak tor have influence through Peter?  After all, Peter was a handpicked by Jesus. He sat under His teachings and preaching. He also witnessed signs, wonders and miracles. Then the answer came to mind. When Peter encouraged Christ not to go to Jerusalem, because of the suffering he would face and eventually being crucified on the cross, it was satan who tempted Jesus through Peter to abandon the will of God. Yes, Christians can be used as conduit for the enemy. That’s to say, when you take heart off of Christ, you leave the door open for the adversary to have access to your hear and mind. I want to pray for you.

 

Father, I ask you in the name of Jesus to cover me with your blood and love.

Expose all forms of deception to me. Destroy every work and plans of the enemy.

I rebuke the Jezebel spirit and any other demonic spirits in the name of Jesus Christ. Flee from me now.

 Protect me from spirits of deception, from the enemy who seeks to steal, kill and destroy me, so I can’t live out my purpose.

Guard my heart with your wisdom

Keep my eyes focused on you and your word

Increase the level my spiritual discernment and bless me with the gift to discern spirits

Reveal all ulterior motives, so that I may detach whoever is sent to hinder and deceive

It’s in Jesus name that I pray, amen!

In the next part of this blog, I’m going to point out visible signs that someone secretly likes you and their covering the real reason they’re in your life. Whether intentional or unintentional, deception is deception.

I also want to say the reality is people are going to be attracted to you for whatever reason. It could be physical attraction, your charisma, intelligence, who you know, what you do, being highly anointed, in a position of power or influence and maybe because you have a strong relationship with God. Whatever God blessed you with, people are going to gravitate toward it. That’s just human nature. So don’t get upset when those you come into contact with are interested in you. That’s a part of being human. There’s nothing wrong liking someone. My point is to refuse to be a distraction the adversary uses to disrupt the progress of God in someone’s life

When the heart wants what the heart wants, and if there isn’t any self-discipline, you will find yourself causing a great deal of confusion in someone’s life. If this is you, confess and repent. Turn to God and apologize to the person you have been a hindrance to.

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