Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

Is Her Mind in Christ?

It’s been a while since I blogged about love & relationships. Like a really long time.  For several months, God had taken my attention away from blogging, and have put it solely on Him. Seeking more intimacy with God has reserved much of my time. I do feel led to return back to subject. I now have fresh eyes and have grown in Christ since blogging consistently.

I recently exited a relationship a few months ago. People asked what happen? What went wrong? I’ve graduated to a point to not bother answering those questions. They are quite irrelevant. I think more people should do away with such questions. The underlying question to ask is was the relationship in the will of God? If there answer is no, the relationship is not going to work anyway. Fruit cannot produce outside the will of God. Apart from Jesus you can do nothing ( John 15: 4-6).

I’ve graduated to an understanding that experiencing love with someone is more than just being in a relationship. It’s more than “looking good” together or “creating an empire” or being someone who have a great personality and conversation and financially stable. The Holy Spirit has told me my wife will understand the anointing and calling on my life in the Kingdom of God. Vice versa. I would have to understand the calling and the anointing that’s on her life.  It works both ways.

Since my recent breakup, I have somewhat actively pursued or have engaged to see where a woman’s mind is at. Her mind gives me a snapshot of how she speaks and thinks. It also opens my eyes to see where she’s at in God.  There are some women who have given their life to Jesus, but there mind is still worldly. Equally yoked also embodies having the same mind in Christ (Amos 3:3). You cannot walk with Christ and the world at the same time. Lukewarm isn’t the way to go.

The number is small when it comes to really following Jesus and have an intimate relationship with Him.  There are a few women who are seeking fellowship with the Lord. There are many women who have a casual relationship with Him. By that I mean, they only seek the Lord when they need something or read & study scripture a few times out of the year. It is true, that less you read the word, your mind begins to revert back to its secular ways. Feeding on the word of God is a lifestyle. It’s vital for continued growth and spiritual transformation in Christ.

I’m in a place now that I think about the calling on my life when it comes to pursuing a woman. I can no longer entertain, let alone, try to court a woman who isn’t passionate about the Lord. We’ll find each other spending less time with one another because of it or probably at odds of how we view scripture, God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

Is her mind in Christ is question I look and listen to see answered when I engage in conversation. By discernment through the Holy Spirit, He will lead and guide me into all truth. Although I am man writing about women, this matter is also applicable to a woman giving a man a chance to court her. You would also have to discern if his mind is in Christ and if he will fit into God’s design for her life.

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, poetry, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

A Modern-Day Ruth

She’s a woman unfit to be “arm candy.”  The Christ in her prevents her from being downgraded. She’s a woman of God

She has a voice and presence. I never have to speak on her behalf

The wind that follows her comes with confidence. She’s a walking proverb

Her speech is like living wells of water filled with sound judgement, depth, substance and wisdom

I met an amazing woman

 

She spoke to my rock than struck it. Water flowed out of me. I gave her possession of my land. My heart, which flows with milk and honey. She knew how to handle me with gentle care

I marvel at her grace. She’s a woman girded in humility and meekness. The scale of her beauty is balanced. She remains in the middle, seated in Christ

 

I serve my wife. I pray for her. I pray with her. Her hands are in mine in public. My heart is in her hands when I’m not with her

She’s my blessing, a modern-day Ruth in the midst of Delilah’s and Jezebel’s

She is not perfect, but her heart is committed to Christ

I can see her clay in the hands of the Potter

God is constantly molding and sculpting her heart and mind into the image of his Son. Jesus Christ.

It’s a beautiful sight to wonder.  She sees my clay as well

 

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, Romance/Love

Woman of God

Gazing into her eyes, I can see blue oceans and forceful waves overlapping over each.

In her is life, the breath of God, the same Spirit that hovered over the face of the deep in the beginning.

She walks and sits in the company virtue.

When she speaks, I listen.

When she touches,  I heal.

When she counsels, I have clarity.

Her wisdom and virtue is her honor.

I adore this woman.

 

She doesn’t give me life. She adds to my life.

When I speak, she listens.

When I touch, she heals.

When I counsel, she has clarity.

She honors my love and intimacy with Christ.

We are compatible in every way.

Our relationship glorifies God.

 

As my custom, I kiss her hand in public every now and then. She’s my royal queen.

She’s royalty to me.

I kneel and prayed for favor, and found a “good thing” in her

We laugh together. Pray together. Praise together. Worship together. We are on flesh.

We are not perfect, but we are made for each other.

Our hearts are in the hands of The Potter.

We’re both His clay–forever shaped, refined into one and sealed with a coating of God’s love, promise and blessing.

She is the finishing touch. I don’t have to look further.

I belong to her, but she truly belongs to God. He loved her first. My love can never replace or surpass what the way God loves her, so I clang to Him the more, keeping Him first.

I adore this woman.

 

 

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

Intimacy of Covenant Pt. I

In the introduction, I touched on how love is often defined by how a person makes them feel. God is love and He is spirit., which means love is spiritual. Galatians 5:22 highlights the fruits of His Spirit. Love is the first one listed and it’s not there randomly.  Out of love flows joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Without love, none of these qualities can be. You may ask yourself, how does this tie into the topic intimacy of covenant. What I’m giving you is a foundation to incorporate into your definition and outlook of love. I used to have a list of qualities that I wanted in a woman. The fruits of God’s spirit weren’t included.  Being equally yoked is also having and embracing the same definition of what love is and looks like in Christ.  A reason relationships fail are because of contrasting thoughts and opinions of what love is.  It’s difficult arriving to a mutual agreement when perspectives clash. People have passionate, but destructive arguments due to how they intellectually, emotionally and spiritually understand something. Arguments are expressed through the reality of ones perspective, which is based on experience, or lack thereof, on emotional intelligence and how spiritually discerned they. And yes, I agree there’s beauty, intrigue and excitement in diversity and difference of opinion and how a person thinks. However, when it to comes to a  Christ-like union, there must be a common ground and a path bigger but narrow enough for two people walk on. How can two walk together unless they agree. Amos 3:3. By bigger, I’m alluding to the ability to be unselfish and share your life with someone else.  By narrow, when two marry, they become one flesh, walking side by side in agreement with each other.  You must be equally yoked in Christ to walk the narrow path of holiness and godliness in a persuasive and secular world. Light and darkness can’t occupy the same space.

I want you to understand something that’s very poignant here. The deeper your intimacy is with God, more depth and substance is added to how you love. The gifts of wisdom and understanding will help you love in an impacting way. I speak of the kind of loving that transforms and opens another eyes to see Christ in you when its inconvenient to. Your spouse should see more of Christ in you than you. The scales fell from Paul eyes represents a new life, a new vision, a new purpose and a new love. Paul transitioned from a life of persecuting Christians to a life of becoming one. Believers in Christ couldn’t comprehend this drastic and sudden change. That’s to say, we cannot fully comprehend the love, the thoughts and the ways of God. We should be transformed from our former life and former way of loving to Holy Spirit way of loving. This doesn’t mean we’re going to be perfect. It means we are to surrender, commit and be active in treating others the way God shows grace and mercy towards us.

Many of you are praying for a sign of confirmation if you met the one. Look to see the fruits of God’s spirit are in the person you’re investing time with.

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, inspiration, love, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

Intimacy of Covenant, the Introduction

Love is often define within the limitation of emotion. It’s God who helps you understand the emotions you feel from love are just an over flow of a spiritual connection you have with someone. I’m sure you come to experience and understand that emotions are  temporal, even misleading. They’re inconsistent. They fluctuate. Feelings are based on what someone does or don’t do for you. People aren’t perfect. Neither are you. Your significant other could do or say something that’s hurtful to you–intentionally or unintentionally. In that instance of offense, the emotions you associate love with will ultimately vanish. What you called love would take on the form anger, revenge or indifference. And usually when someone feels angered, neglected or “unloved”, creating distance or cheating becomes a viable option. You must truly understand how God defines love in 1 Corinthians 13, if you’re going to have a successful courtship and marriage. When you mediate on this scripture and the two above, you’ll begin to see the heart of God and the heart of His Son Jesus and the fruit of the Holy Spirit.  You’ll begin to see kindness, patience and gentleness through His grace and mercy towards you.  His love doesn’t dishonor. It’s neither self-seeking. You will also see those qualities on display in the life of Jesus Christ when you study the Gospels. If emotions are what define love for you, I encourage you to make room for how you define love.

The cliché “love is a choice” rings true, but what’s more profound is that God is love. The decision to surrender your love life to God will prove to be a wise one. A successful and godly relationship rests on Christ being at the center of it. In 1 Corinthians 13, love is defined. In 2 Corinthians 6:14,  the word of God tells who He wants us to experience love with, which is a person who has the heart in the hands of the Potter. A person who is equally yoked with you is a man or woman who’s given and surrendered their life to Christ and has an intimate relationship with Him.  I will go in detail later of what this kind of Christian looks like according to scripture and not Melvin Davis (me) thoughts or opinions.  Being in a relationship or married to an individual in Christ is what makes two equally yoked.

Being equally yoked isn’t a metaphor. The yoke of something is the core of something. The core holds everything together, so that which you have built may live and have life more abundantly. It’s the foundation that everything else rests on. “Yoke”equates to spirit. When you are intimate with someone, you become yoked spiritually.  It’s your spirit that joins together like two pieces of clay. I’m sure you have heard of “soul ties” and why it’s so hard to break away from someone. They are yoked by spirit through intimacy. Intimacy isn’t just within the parameter of sex. Intimacy is also experienced through conversation, investing quality time together, physical touch such as hugging, holding and kissing each other. It’s whatever you do to allow someone to earn you trust, affection, love and sacrifice.

To have a godly relationship, you must be in a committed relationship with God through Jesus Christ. You must be connected to the True Vine.  An issue some believers in Christ have is they desire a godly relationship,  but their lifestyle contradicts what they’re seeking, expecting and praying for. The desire maybe in you to want a godly man or woman, but your heart is still in covenant with the world. It’s possible to receive salvation and remain unchanged. This happens by not reading the Word and spending intimate time with God. When you are walking with the Holy Spirit that is in you, you’ll no longer have a taste or an attraction for what’s unholy. Men who have an intimate relationship with Christ, walk in the spirit. They no longer have a desire or an attraction for women who speak with profanity, adorns herself in sensuality, seduction and vanity. Neither does a godly woman, walking in the same magnitude of intimacy with God and holiness, have an affinity for men who easily overtake ungodly women by their fame, prestige, material possessions or the appeal of their physical attraction.

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, marriage

Doing Love God’s Way Pt. II

I’m not the kind of man that would write a woman off if she’s of a different culture or race. Neither would I if she initially isn’t a believer in Christ. God has used both men and women to win their soon to be spouses over to him. Seeing this into fruition takes walking in the fruits of the Spirit that’s outlined in Galatians 5: 22. You would need the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Truly anything is possible with God and when you are walking in these fruits of God’s Holy Spirit. They saying goes, “age doesn’t matter.” Yes that’s true, but my response to that statement is maturity does. A person could be younger numerically, but have the emotional and spiritual maturity that it takes to be consistent, understanding, an effective communicator and having an authentic identity of the self. Couples with significant age gaps, that would make others on the outside snarl at them, work because God joined together. What I want to draw your attention to is being equally yoked.

2 Corinthians 6:14 has become more of a reality to me. It’s one thing to know something intellectually. It’s a different experience when something becomes revelation to you. It’s fulfilling and refreshing when the word of God is experienced. After being single for a while, I’ve evolved in a way of taking my relationship with Christ more seriously. God began speaking to me loudly years ago about having a more intimate relationship with him. This is still a journey I’m trying to master. Since then, I changed my entire approach to how I engage and court women, which is doing love God’s way. In the past, I haven’ t always been successful. However, in recent encounters, I’ve stood my ground with sex before marriage. I can honestly say now, the desire to have sex before marriage is less desirable. I’m not moved by physical attraction and women who throw their selves at me in an attempt to seduce me. In fact, it’s a turnoff. Seduction and sensuality is a turnoff when you’re walking in the spirit. I’ve actually asked God to take away my desire for sex until marriage. It’s meaningless to be intimate before becoming one when you understand why God says wait. There’s no need to create soul tie or any other unnecessary consequences that comes with disobedience when your body craves sex. It’s not worth it.
Being with someone you’re equally yoked with is not an option if you have committed your life to Christ. It simply isn’t going to work. Being equally yoked encompasses many things you may overlook on the surface when you read “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” When this scripture is read, readers assume it’s only talking about individuals who have rejected Christ. This scripture also applies to those who have “given” their life to Christ, but don’t live a godly life. They are certain things Christians don’t BELIEVE in the Bible. One of them is sex before marriage.

That’s not the only issue the scripture addresses about being equally yoked. When you have an intimate relationship with God and you spend time studying the word, you become transformed. Your mind is renewed. You’re thinking changes and your understanding deepens. How you think aligns to who Christ is and what his word says. This gives insight to how a person thinks, how the world is perceived around them and they treat one another. It also lends to how consistent and an effective communicator someone is, and they’re emotional and spiritual maturity, which I pointed out earlier. If you try to be in a relationship with someone who thinking isn’t on a scripture level, because they’re still living according to the ways of the world, more than likely, that relationship isn’t going to work. Not being open to a truth based on scripture that you haven’t come to experience and having a close mind, would soon create friction, arguments and drama between you and someone.This person has to come into their own maturity, knowledge and understanding of the word and revelation of who Christ is, which is nothing wrong. There are somethings I didn’t get until months or years later. I had to go through my process of maturity.
I choose to do love God’s way. It doesn’t matter how physically appealing and successful someone is, if they aren’t committed to God, and you are, you’re not going to be able to do love God’s way. If you say, how does the couple work who aren’t living their life according to scripture. Well, two uncommitted people have something in common. They aren’t committed. Doing love God’s with someone who’s in agreement with what the word of God says saves you the stress.

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Faith, friendship, Honesty, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships

Doing Love God’s Way

My relationship with God is the most valuable thing in life. I’m here because of God’s love, grace and mercy. My relationship with God has led and continues to lead women away from me.  Disappointing at sometimes , yes, but am I hurt, no. No relationship out of the will of God is worth being in. Ever since 2014,  I commited my life to holiness, purity and righteousness. I committed to celibacy, stopped listening to music riddled with sensuality, sexuality/lust, songs that encourages arrogance,  self-centeredness , provokes loneliness, anger, fear, melancholy and that reminds you of what you once had. Soul tie music are stronghold music that prevents  you from moving on from the past. Some movies and people can have the same effect on you.

The narrow path of holiness, purity and righteousness was a decision I needed to make to answer and prepare for the call/purpose God invited me to. More importantly,  I accepted the invitation to the deep  intimacy and to walk with God. This path has been a fulfilling yet challenging one. Sometimes my humanity says to my spirit, is it worth. By faith, trust and love for God, my spirit says,  It is.

Much of my understanding about love, relationships and woman comes from the word of God and the wisdom He blesses me with. The more time you spend studying the scriptures and basking in God’s presence, the more wisdom, knowledge and revelation He will download into your spirit. Your discernment also increases. You’re just going to know and see certain things about people, environments and situations before they unfold. If not in the beginning, later on.

As you come to a place of maturity, you arrive to a point in life where you just want to enjoy the simple things with someone. Like consistency, simplicity, peace, and the first options are understanding, reconciliation and forgiveness. These are the gems to look forward to in a relationship. It’s a trend to be difficult, indifferent, dysfunctional and self-absorbing. And create problems or be evasive when you don’t have to. I can’t comprehend this. God brings the love into your life to love and not fight with. Then again, some people do only what they know. Things flow so much easier when there’s strong communication, trust and security in each other, which takes time to build. The ride is also smoother when you both come together with the same goal in mind, which is to become one. This also takes time.

 

 

 

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