Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, love, marriage, Patience, Relationships, romance

Intimacy of Covenant Pt. II

Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.-Isaiah 64:8

 

As I type, revelation is being downloaded into my spirit of how Isaiah 64:8 correlates to John 15. In John 15, Jesus tells the disciples that He is the True Vine, and those who are connected to him are the branches. He goes on to say that His Father is the Vine-dresser. and that every branch in Him that does not bear fruit, he breaks away. And every branch that bares fruit, He prunes, so that produces more fruit.. In Isaiah 64:8, God is the Potter and we are the clay. Our personality, the way we think, speak and love  is different when God is the Potter and the Vine-dresser and Jesus is the True Vine in our lives. Dirt without water isn’t clay. It’s can’t be molded or formed into anything. A tree branch loses its life when it’s cut from the vine.  Without life, fruit doesn’t bare. When two individuals are totally surrendered and yielded to Jesus, you have an equally yoked, Christ centered relationship. You and the person you’re pursuing or courting must be the clay in the Father hands and connected to the True Vine. Imagine what two pieces of clay molded into one. That’s what marriage looks like.

A specific height, weight and shape are some preferences are well pronounced desires people look for in a significant other.  Some women prefer taller men over shorter, muscular over lean or slender. Some women  don’t have a preference. Men may prefer curvy, petite, or fully figured women. Some don’t care. Personality is also a factor. Humor, intellect, conversation or a combination of all, may compensate for a lack physical attraction.  All of these qualities are wonderful to desire and have, but have you considered examining what you desire to have through the eyes of Christ?

Have you ever prayed, better yet, is humility on your ” What I want in a man/woman list?” A harden heart is dirt without water.  It’s not soft. It can’t mold like clay. Potential are like seeds underneath fertile ground. They remain potential without sunlight and water added. Those seeds could inherently die. How often do people kill what God brings into their life because of a harden heart. You cannot love when you heart is hardened by bitterness, insecurity and hurt. You’re heart must be in the hands of The Potter, if it’s going to be soft. Softness produces gentleness and kindness humility. Can you see the Fruits of the Spirit here?  Humility must be a part of your character is you’re going to love another human being. Humility is a component of an equally yoked and God-centered relationship. For God to make us into the husband and wife we will soon be, we have to become like clay.

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, romance

She’s Marrying Your Calling Too

In a relationship, emotions fly out the window when you ask questions that makes you examine is this the person I really want to spend my life with. Questions about raising a family, motherhood, fatherhood, educating your children or more relevant to the topic at hand, what do you believe about God or how do you feel about what God has called me to do. When I was younger and immature, I wanted a “bad” woman. Most younger men want the most attractive woman. Whether she was God-fearing, intelligent or a good conversationalist or not, physical attraction was the only thing that matter. These days, I say to myself, I want someone who I can talk to you. You come to appreciate the small things in life such as conversation that makes you enjoy someone’s company. There’s another element to add to the table. Several months ago, I heard the Lord say to me (paraphrasing), she’s not just marrying you. She’s also marrying what I called you to do.  After the Lord said this to me, I listened to a teaching of a man who walks with God sometime after. The man of God talked about his nephew, who has a calling on his life. His nephew believed the young lady he was seeing was the one. Until one day the Lord told him she wasn’t. Disappointed, he broke the relationship off. He said to his nephew, if you had married this woman she would have stopped you from fulfilling your calling. Looking back he agreed. Hearing this message was confirmation to me that gave me the chills.

I remember asking my ex-girlfriend one day. What if God wants me to travel to other countries to teach the Gospel, would you come?  She was quiet for a few seconds and  said, “that’s something we could talk about later.” Her response was a disappointing one. I don’t mean this in a demeaning or belittling way, but it was confirmation that she wasn’t the woman God wanted me to marry. Uncertainty about each other is a sure sign you aren’t with the right person.

Everyone’s life is unique. We’re all called to serve God in some capacity. Whether in ministry or in a secular/ corporate setting. Your particular calling has a responsibility and a commitment. Some assignments may require you to travel locally. Perhaps abroad. If preaching or teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ is your calling, you have to consider does the person I envision being with fit the life God has set apart for me? It’s a question I don’t necessarily have to ask anymore. You come to know that many of your questions are answered by getting to know someone. You listen to them speak and you discern and see where they’re commitment to Christ is, what they’re going after to achieve in life or how they envision the kind of life they want to live.

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Relationships, romance

The Biological Clock in Men

I was catching up with my Dad a few days ago. Yesterday, I talked to my mom. I’m not sure how we got on the topic, but my parents asked when am I getting married? The question caught me off guard.  Given that my parents are divorced and no longer talk to each other, I don’t think it’s a coincidence they asked me the question a few days apart from each other. I believe they want to see my sibling’s and I marry. I think they also want grandchildren. Anyhow, I didn’t have an immediate answer. I had to think about it. I feel like I’m in an awkward place when it comes to a love life. Finally I said to the both of them, “It’s not like your days where it was easier to find someone. Things are different now.  I’m in my mid late 30’s. Women my age are either married or divorced with children. Some divorced women have accrued deep emotional and mental wounds that may require counseling or just time alone.  I retired from playing the role of a counselor. Other divorced women are so guarded that would take work to gain their trust. I don’t foresee expending time and energy.” At least God hasn’t put it on my heart too. Some women my age are still clubbing and partying. This is not the kind women I want to be with. As far as women with children, although I’d like two of my own, I’m open to being with someone who has children. I wasn’t when I was much younger. There are moments when I don’t think about having children. I’ve been on my own so long that I’m used to thinking single-minded.

With younger women, patience is a required of you and communication can be a challenge. Where she’s at in her relationship with Christ, how emotionally stable and mature she is and where we’re on the same page intellectually, tells me if she’s worth pursing. By younger I’m talking about the ages between 27-32. Anyhow, younger women I’ve encountered aren’t so much great communicators. They are rather evasive or passive aggressive. Both are a turnoff to me. Other younger women are just in a different place in life. They’re still having fun, figuring out or pursuing what they want out of life. This presents a problem. When you know what you want and are headed, and the other person isn’t, you’re not going to merge together because you’re walking two different paths. Usually the people who are interested in you are the one’s you aren’t really attracted to. I don’t think I need to elaborate on this statement

I heard about women having a biological clock. They reach a certain age in their prime, where they want to marry and have children. I’ m starting to believe men have a biological too. When I see a father with his daughter, or with his wife and kids, I get to thinking, I want a daughter to spoil of my own. I’m at a place in life where I desire to build a life with my wife and have a family of my own. A part of me is starting to believe that maybe marriage isn’t apart of God’s plan for my life. And that maybe there’s a possibility that God has called me to a life of singleness like the Apostle Paul. If this is what God has called me to, I would have to shift my mind from my personal desires to what God planned for my life. It would be hard, but I know God’s will bring out the best in life.

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

Is Her Mind in Christ?

It’s been a while since I blogged about love & relationships. Like a really long time.  For several months, God had taken my attention away from blogging, and have put it solely on Him. Seeking more intimacy with God has reserved much of my time. I do feel led to return back to subject. I now have fresh eyes and have grown in Christ since blogging consistently.

I recently exited a relationship a few months ago. People asked what happen? What went wrong? I’ve graduated to a point to not bother answering those questions. They are quite irrelevant. I think more people should do away with such questions. The underlying question to ask is was the relationship in the will of God? If there answer is no, the relationship is not going to work anyway. Fruit cannot produce outside the will of God. Apart from Jesus you can do nothing ( John 15: 4-6).

I’ve graduated to an understanding that experiencing love with someone is more than just being in a relationship. It’s more than “looking good” together or “creating an empire” or being someone who have a great personality and conversation and financially stable. The Holy Spirit has told me my wife will understand the anointing and calling on my life in the Kingdom of God. Vice versa. I would have to understand the calling and the anointing that’s on her life.  It works both ways.

Since my recent breakup, I have somewhat actively pursued or have engaged to see where a woman’s mind is at. Her mind gives me a snapshot of how she speaks and thinks. It also opens my eyes to see where she’s at in God.  There are some women who have given their life to Jesus, but there mind is still worldly. Equally yoked also embodies having the same mind in Christ (Amos 3:3). You cannot walk with Christ and the world at the same time. Lukewarm isn’t the way to go.

The number is small when it comes to really following Jesus and have an intimate relationship with Him.  There are a few women who are seeking fellowship with the Lord. There are many women who have a casual relationship with Him. By that I mean, they only seek the Lord when they need something or read & study scripture a few times out of the year. It is true, that less you read the word, your mind begins to revert back to its secular ways. Feeding on the word of God is a lifestyle. It’s vital for continued growth and spiritual transformation in Christ.

I’m in a place now that I think about the calling on my life when it comes to pursuing a woman. I can no longer entertain, let alone, try to court a woman who isn’t passionate about the Lord. We’ll find each other spending less time with one another because of it or probably at odds of how we view scripture, God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

Is her mind in Christ is question I look and listen to see answered when I engage in conversation. By discernment through the Holy Spirit, He will lead and guide me into all truth. Although I am man writing about women, this matter is also applicable to a woman giving a man a chance to court her. You would also have to discern if his mind is in Christ and if he will fit into God’s design for her life.

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, marriage, Melvin Davis, Patience, poetry, Relationships, romance, Romance/Love

A Modern-Day Ruth

She’s a woman unfit to be “arm candy.”  The Christ in her prevents her from being downgraded. She’s a woman of God

She has a voice and presence. I never have to speak on her behalf

The wind that follows her comes with confidence. She’s a walking proverb

Her speech is like living wells of water filled with sound judgement, depth, substance and wisdom

I met an amazing woman

 

She spoke to my rock than struck it. Water flowed out of me. I gave her possession of my land. My heart, which flows with milk and honey. She knew how to handle me with gentle care

I marvel at her grace. She’s a woman girded in humility and meekness. The scale of her beauty is balanced. She remains in the middle, seated in Christ

 

I serve my wife. I pray for her. I pray with her. Her hands are in mine in public. My heart is in her hands when I’m not with her

She’s my blessing, a modern-day Ruth in the midst of Delilah’s and Jezebel’s

She is not perfect, but her heart is committed to Christ

I can see her clay in the hands of the Potter

God is constantly molding and sculpting her heart and mind into the image of his Son. Jesus Christ.

It’s a beautiful sight to wonder.  She sees my clay as well

 

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, God's Will, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, Melvin Davis, Patience, Relationships, Romance/Love

Woman of God

Gazing into her eyes, I can see blue oceans and forceful waves overlapping over each.

In her is life, the breath of God, the same Spirit that hovered over the face of the deep in the beginning.

She walks and sits in the company virtue.

When she speaks, I listen.

When she touches,  I heal.

When she counsels, I have clarity.

Her wisdom and virtue is her honor.

I adore this woman.

 

She doesn’t give me life. She adds to my life.

When I speak, she listens.

When I touch, she heals.

When I counsel, she has clarity.

She honors my love and intimacy with Christ.

We are compatible in every way.

Our relationship glorifies God.

 

As my custom, I kiss her hand in public every now and then. She’s my royal queen.

She’s royalty to me.

I kneel and prayed for favor, and found a “good thing” in her

We laugh together. Pray together. Praise together. Worship together. We are on flesh.

We are not perfect, but we are made for each other.

Our hearts are in the hands of The Potter.

We’re both His clay–forever shaped, refined into one and sealed with a coating of God’s love, promise and blessing.

She is the finishing touch. I don’t have to look further.

I belong to her, but she truly belongs to God. He loved her first. My love can never replace or surpass what the way God loves her, so I clang to Him the more, keeping Him first.

I adore this woman.

 

 

 

 

 

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Communication, Faith, friendship, Honesty, How to Find Love, inspiration, love, Love Again By Melvin Davis, Melvin Davis

5 Ways For a Man to Tell If You’re Equally Yoked with Him

A very familiar question I’m asked often is “so why are you single?” This is a question that has become a little redundant to hear and answer. In a way, I sort of anticipate the day I’m no longer asked. However, a week ago, I didn’t mind answering it. Why, because something changed within me.

While I was brainstorming and jotting ideas for the vision God has given me for ministry, something happened. Another vision had set in that would compliment the vision of ministry. As the pen stood still in my hand, I looked off to the side and saw a particular woman in my minds eye. I didn’t see an actual physical person, but I saw qualities that go beyond that. Whoever this woman is I believe God has set aside for me for a purpose. She’s chosen for me. Vice versa. This woman is special because I know I’ll find her equally yoked with me.

I want to talk about 5 ways for a man to tell if you’re equally yoked with him. I’m aware that I can’t speak for every man. We’re all different. I get that, but I’m describing below is basic essential for a healthy relationship. And yes, I know you’re thinking, “but you’re still single, how can you write blog about being equally yoked with someone? Well, I believe you can tell the same way you know someone isn’t the one for you.  You just know it. Your spirit doesn’t agree with that person–no matter how attractive, intelligent, spiritual and well put together they may be. Besides that, there’s a particular scripture that qualifies me to answer the question of how you can tell you’re equally yoked with someone.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”–Jeremiah 29:11

The woman I had a vision about is a Proverbs 31 woman. That’s a promise to me from God. I believe this by faith and I’m speaking her into existence. Perhaps you should do the same.

Here are 5 ways for a man to tell if you’re equally yoked with him.

  1. Acceptance and understanding of his purpose.

In part I of this blog, I mentioned that I didn’t see myself being with a woman who doesn’t understand or support my calling. By calling, I mean my life’s purpose or vocation if that word works a little better for you. I didn’t quite explain what my calling is, but I offered a variety of responses that I receive when I open up about it. I’ll share them again. These are a few responses I receive when I tell women I’m called to pastor, and writing is one medium God uses me to minister to others.

“That’s deep.” (My all-time favorite.)

“Oh, that’s nice.” (The modest, but indifferent response.)

“That’s great. I wish you success.” (Me, really?)

“Oh okay…nods head.” (I nod my head back feeling all the awkwardness in the world.)

“Oh really??????” (Yup…nodding my head)  *This is the fake super excited response.

“So you must really take your faith seriously?” (As if it’s like a hobby and not a lifestyle.)

“That would be too much pressure.” (Pressure? I feel the pressure already and I don’t think my ministry has begun. There are days I feel unqualified, inexperience and unworthy. Hey, I’m a man trying to live a life please to God.)

When I hear these responses, I don’t have to figure out if she’s the one or not. The work has already been done. The evidence is in the indifferent reactions. A good listening ear will take a long way.

The love of your life isn’t going to run away from your purpose. That person will fit in it. In my case, I understand some hesitance may be there. My is life dedicated to serving in the Kingdom of God, and not every woman can see living a Christ-like lifestyle. I believe, when two lives intersect, two worlds are merging into one. It’s God’s ultimate plan to bring two people together to walk the same path in a relationship with Him and each other.

Trust God, and watch Him make love happen in your life. That’s a promise.

Because there’s acceptance and understanding of his purpose, there’s another way a man gages you to tell if you’re equally yoked with him.

2. Spiritually compatibility.

I know this sounds cliché, but think of a relationship like rhythm in music. It’s harmonious. All the components that go into making a quality, good sound are working together to sit well with your ear and heart. This is how I see the woman that’s equally yoked with me.

Spiritual compatibility is the gelling of two spirits and souls dancing in rhythm, and projecting the same sound that lets you and the other person know, you found something special in one another.

If a woman has no desire to know God, the chances of a spiritual connection probably isn’t going to happen with him either. A man of God is looking for a woman of God. If your heart is moving in the direction of coming into a relationship with Christ, he sees hope in a “you and him.” He believes he could build something long lasting and special with you. He’s thinking, like myself, It would be an honor to play a role in her salvation or strengthening her walk with God: This is great, because while God is working on you, He’s unfolding a wonderful relationship before your eyes.

If the roles are reversed, as in the woman has the stronger relationship with God, it would be his desire to meet you where you’re at. He isn’t going to shy away or feel less of a man if you’re there spiritually and he’s not. His focus on building HIs relationship with God is on Him anyway, and he sees you as playing an important part in that. He sees a helpmate in you.

3. Great Communication and Honesty.

A man of God wants a woman who’s open and honest with him.

If the woman I’m with is afraid to communicate with me in open honesty and truth, let’s say for example, there are typos in this blog or in my novel, and I ask what she thought about it, and she says, “it was really good,” Houston, we have a problem. Love tells the truth from a place of honesty and sincerity.

I’m not expecting her to be an English teach as someone pointed out when I posted the excerpt above a week ago. I was halfway joking here. The point is to be straightforward and honest.

Let’s consider how Proverbs 31: 26 describes a woman that’s a great and honest communicator.

“She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”

Wisdom is truth. Wisdom is also the ability to say something out of love and without fear.

Going back to the example of a woman pointing out the flaws in my work: Faithful instruction is her giving me the opportunity to correct what’s wrong, so that I could improve as a writer and present the best work possible. Or, if there were things I need to work on as a person, I would expect her to voice what they are. Trust me when I say this, a man values and appreciates a woman who speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction. He will  know it’s coming from a place of her love and respect. Equally important, he’ll know it’s coming from God. She is a helpmate that’s trying to help him.

4. She’s an excellent listener. Great Communication also translates into excellent listening skills.

Wisdom is to know when to listen.

Sometimes after posting  a devotional message, responding to prayer requests and inbox messages from others asking for spiritual or relationship advice–adding in listening to the concerns of others over the phone, I’m drained. Spiritually. Don’t misunderstand me. I enjoy this. I have a heart for people. I love helping others. Its my nature. I always welcome the opportunity to be used by God. However, I’m human too.

I’m not sure if people who are overly talkative are aware that someone may want them to just listen. There are moments when someone may want to pour into you or pray for them, but an extended hand or a listening ear isn’t offered—only 45 min’s to an hour worth of what’s on your mind when you do “talk.” When this happens to me, I’m repeating in my head, why is this happening. I’m sure he is too.

A proverbs 31 woman is a listening woman. I’m praying for a woman who can listen, and listen without the urge to get a word out. Talkers without the balancing of listening are anxious to get a word out, which means, they really aren’t listening. I know when this is happening lol ;). I’m a good listener and observer.

Listening seems so insignificant but can be detrimental to a relationship or friendship. Any nature of relationship involves exchange. Exchange also means listening.

Note: When a man is into you, you’ll come to discover an excellent listener in him. He’s in tuned into your tone voice, choice of words and how you convey them. He’s taking mental note of your facial expressions, how you move your hands when you talk, and other body language that suggest what kind of mood you’re in.  And if he’s really in tuned to you, he’ll know what’s your mind before you get a chance to tell him. He’ll know when to listen and do nothing else but listen or to offer you sound advice  of encourage. His empathy will increase your love for him.

5. Another way for a man to tell if you’re equally yoked with him, if the transition into a relationship is a smooth one.

 A relationship happens when you are equally yoked with someone

Reflecting on dating situations I was in, or getting to know someone, there were always something in a way that prevented a relationship from happening. Sometimes it was the woman I was interested in have other things going on or I had personal things in my life to focus on. I walked away thinking, “maybe the timing isn’t right.” Here’s what I’m alluding to.

When things are too difficult from the onset, that’s never a good sign. Yeah, I understand that no one is perfect, therefore a relationship doesn’t have a chance to be either. However, if there are challenges that has the power to take your focus off each other, perhaps bad timing is not the case here, it’s God saying this isn’t the person I want you to be with.

I believe that God’s timing is perfect in drawing two imperfect people together. In God’s timing, the transition into love is a smooth one. And if there are unforeseen challenges ahead or external circumstances currently going on, it’s not going to draw your attention off of each other. What’s happening will draw you closer to each other. Praying for and with each other, and being emotionally and spiritually present, is always a plus. You really have no idea what this can do for you.

In part II. B of Equally Yoked, I want to share a few characteristics that a woman should look for a man to tell if he’s match for you.

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